!?!?!?!

Ok this is just too strange.. Today I saw a commercial that I was sure had to be a joke. The pretense was that some people end up married to their one night stands and the last frame of the commercial had the tag line "Life is short. Have an affair." I thought this had to be some sort of joke.. but no.. upon looking up the website I found that  the Ashley Madison Agency does indeed facilitate "married dating" and affairs. I don't know why I am shocked by this but it really got to me. It just makes me sad that someone has found a way to potentially make $$ off of broken homes and shattered lives. 

blerg

Blerg pretty much  describes the last week for me. I never got a shower before 3pm - blerg. The girls didn't nap super well - blerg. Margot wet through her diaper while laying on the bed and now I need to change the whole thing - blerg. Ada keeps biting when she is nursing- OUCH and yeah - blerg. Blah could be another word to describe my week .. as in looking for houses to rent around here leaves me feeling blah. 

The girls will be 10 weeks this Wednesday. Hard to believe. They had their 2 month check-up on Thursday and got their much dreaded shots. Thanks to the advice of Mom and Erin, I gave them Tylenol before they got their shots and I think that made a huge difference. I was crying in the car before we even got to the doctor's office, dreading the shots and what the girls reactions might be. Sure enough I balled when they actually got each shot - they cried too but I think I was crying harder. Particularly with Margot because she was asleep before the shot and woke up all happy and smiley then looked at me in horror when she felt the shot and started screaming. Terrible, just terrible. Bright side, they only cried briefly and were happy to be comforted by Mommy and Daddy after it was over and we actually left the office with quiet children. Thanks Tylenol. In case you are wondering, they each weighed 9 pounds 12 ounces. That's right, they weigh the same amount. Even the nurse was shocked, she said twins are usually pretty far apart.. at least 1/2 a pound. Not our girls :) They are super healthy of course and doing fantastically well. They slept most of the rest of that day and were feverish and pitiful the next day but after that they have been fine. Margot and Ada both broke my heart during the feverish period, looking at me with tears rolling down their cheeks and crying like sad little 4 year olds. It was  a more mature sort of crying that said "I don't feel good Mommy and that makes me sad and I am going to cry about just how sad I feel." We cried together. 

They are smiling a lot more now. No, I don't have a single picture of it yet. Our camera is full and we need to go and get the picture developed but - shockingly - just can't seem to find the time in there. Actually Stephen worked very hard to uploading them all online to send for development yesterday so we should have that accomplished soon. They both love to smile and talk to you during the post feeding diaper changes. I spend extra time with each talking to them and kissing their chubby cheeks to make them smile and coo. It's fun. Margot also gets pretty smiley when she wakes up in the morning or from a nap - if she has had some decent sleep. She seems to be a morning person. Ada needs a good cuddle when she wakes up but soon after enjoys smiling up at her mobile - she loves that thing. Artist in the making? 

I skipped Church yesterday. Yes, skipped it. Frankly I am exhausted and the thought of  doing what it takes to get us all to Church just about did me in so, I stayed in. Maybe next week. The sleep training is going well I guess. Some nights it takes 30 minutes and others its 1 hour and 30 minutes. Then they wake up around 2 and want to eat again - I feed one and as soon as she is done the other wakes and wants to eat.. this goes on until about 4:30 most nights. See why I am so tired? Sigh. Last night I started to wonder if I am crazy for doing this - but I know it is for the best and will be fantastic for them in the long run.. I am just ZONKED folks. 

We are looking for a new place to rent - we need more space. We knew this when we moved in so this comes as no surprise. We went to look at a couple of houses this weekend. The guy on Saturday stood us up - jerk. His house wasn't that great anyway, backed up to a very busy road and the big yard was mostly dirt and sand. We also did a drive by on a place downtown. This house is perfect for us. It's a little Craftsman (my absolute favorite home design) that has been fully restored with 3 bedrooms and hardwood floors, a deck in the back, porch in front ..beautiful.. unreal price. I knew that it was probably in a sketchy neighborhood and sure enough when I called the guy to see if we could go take a look he asked that we please drive by and look at the neighborhood first and we if we were still interested he would show us the house. So we drive over and sure enough, it's in a neighborhood that is being revitalized and as we drive along we see the diversity that we have been longing for. Nice looking people with nice looking homes - most of which have been remodeled and look really nice. Suddenly on the right we pass a "shopping center" with a Bail Bonds place and several other dark looking establishments - loads of people milling around in the parking lot.  Then we get to the street where our prospective home is located. Sure enough, it's on the very cusp of said waive of revitalization. There is a boarded up house next door and a vacant lot on the other side. A sign in the lot says "Garden of Hope" but there doesn't seem to have been any gardening going on for quite some time as it is completely overgrown. There is a "apartment complex" of sorts across the street that looks abandoned. So yeah, that adorable house is pretty much the only occupied looking space on the block. My heart sank. I would love to live in a diverse neighborhood, but it has to be somewhere with neighbors. If there had been homes on either side of this place with doors that I could knock on and introduce myself to the residents, I would have been thrilled.. but there were none. There probably will be sometime soon..but right now.. there were none. Stephen said he would worry about us, myself and the girls, being there without him during the day. How could there not be any neighbors!? Grr! I hate that there weren't any and I hate that I am not brave enough to insist that we give it a shot. I always wanted to be that person that could live anywhere.. but I just couldn't do it without neighbors. So sad. We drove around some other neighborhoods closer to where we live now - depressing. The architecture out there just makes me sick to my stomach. I would be depressed to live in some of these neighborhoods. Brick ranch houses from the 60s that would be perfectly wonderful except for the fact that people have tried to "modernize" them with things like white trim and wrought iron porch railing - again dazzling white. Those whose owners have embraced the style of their home look amazing.. but the rest.. blerg. I know the right next home is out there somewhere.. we just have to keep looking but the looking is pretty depressing. I am such an architecture snob. I am probably a snob in other areas as well but this particular area has always given me trouble. 

Alright, I am going to end this. I have blathered on long enough about things no one cares about and if I hurry, I might get a shower in before the girls wake up. 

Plus 2

It was very chilly when we took Daddy to work early this morning..

..so we had to bundle up in our favorite snuggly blankets from Aunt Mindy and our special Peruvian alpaca woven hats from Grandpa Larry...

..and our binkies of course. 

A very small Margot bean who decided to plant herself during play time. Meanwhile her sister was napping peacefully in the swing.. and yes I did move Margot into the crib.. but not until I had eaten my lunch ;) You never know how long such moments of peace and quiet will last and thus it is imperative that they be taken advantage of. 

Netflix arrived yesterday baring the second DVD of "John and Kate Plus Eight". Ever since we found out we were having twins, everyone under the sun has asked us if we have seen this show; to which we reply with a very lame "No..we don't have cable." Thankfully it was out on DVD and we have now watched both seasons.. are there more? What a fabulous confidence booster they are. We sit and watch them expertly managing their household with all the ups and downs that come along and we feel so relaxed.. so calm and blessed. I feel like I can take on the world after watching Kate make lunch for her 8. If she can do it.. man think of what I could do with all my energy! 

Keeping strict to the schedule has worked like a charm this week. They have napped in some way  shape or form every day. Last night it only took about 50 minutes to get them to sleep.. and they stayed asleep on their own until each woke for her respective early A.M. snack. Stephen helped out last night so we each took turns at the 3 minute marks. It's nice to share such things. It's nice to be married to someone who wants to share such things :)

Homecoming is tonight and we are planning to attend with the girls. They went to the game last Friday as well and did wonderfully so .. crossing fingers. Go Warriors!!! 

Yellow Baby

Ada and I waiting for Daddy to get home

When I was little I named my first doll "Yellow Baby" - she was yellow of course. Margot was doing a pretty good impression of Yellow Baby today. She wasn't interested in her morning nap and preferred to watch me clean up the kitchen and put away laundry from the comfort of her seat. 

Yesterday the girls turned 8 weeks old. I have been waiting for and dreading this day. Waiting for because it's just exciting to see them get older... dreading because this is the age when it is appropriate to start "sleep training" twins.. or so I have read. So I started last night. The process goes something like this. Instead of letting them fall asleep in our arms and them putting them in the crib, I put them down while they are still awake - right after their last feeding. I remind them that it is night time and thus time for sleeping, zip them into their sleep sacks kiss them goodnight and then leave the room. Inevitably they start crying at some point. I let the crying go on for 3-5 minutes then go back into the room and try to comfort them from the side of the crib without picking them up. If this doesn't work I pick them up and once they have stopped crying and are calm again, put them back down and leave the room. I think this went on for about an hour and a half last night.. so far tonight it's been about 45 minutes. I have a feeling this is going to be a long process but I am up for the challenge and I know once they learn to self comfort and put themselves to sleep our lives will be much easier in the long run and so will theirs. That said.. wshoo.. we are tired ya'll!! And it's only been 2 days!!! 

Sigh. The debate is on. I have a strong urge to mute the TV when Palin speaks because my blood pressure goes up when she starts speaking - I am so afraid of what she is going to say. It's like watching Bush give a national address, I am always so embarrassed for him when he flubs up his words. I wish Tina Fey was up there instead.

Weight

The girls took their first trip to Nana and Grandpa's house this past Saturday. We stopped and visited with Gram and Aunt B when we first got into town, then spent the rest of the day at Mom and Dad's. A good time was had by all. The girls slept through the entire visit. 

I just got back from a lovely walk with Erin. I am walking lots and lots these days and eating good nutritious food ( no junk ) so....why the heck does it seem like I am GAINING weight?!??! I don't have scales here so I am just going on the way my body feels and the way I fit into the clothes that I DO manage to fit into and call me crazy but.. seems like I am going no where fast with this whole weight loss thing. Yeah I know 9 months on 9 months off yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, I just Googled "breast feeding and losing weight" and I found out loads of very interesting stuff. For example, while many women do lost tons of weight while nursing, there are loads that don't. Apparently the hormone released while you nurse is the same or very similar to what is in birth control pills and if you get bigger on the pill .. then is stands to reason that you would swell while nursing too. I read many comments from women who said they ate well and exercised while nursing and nothing really happened until the weaned the baby and then it all came off all at once. Hmmm.. I wish this was a little more common knowledge. I thought I was doing something wrong. I know I can only do what I can do, but reading all this really made me feel better. I will just keep eating my healthy diet and going for vigorous walks and doing Pilates when the girls allow. Glad to know I am not the only one who feels the way I feel about the whole thing. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me. 

I should be in bed..

.. but instead I can't sleep. The girls are going for their hip ultrasound tomorrow. Apparently, twins are prone to hip issues, particularly breech twins (Margot) so we have to get them checked out. That's not keeping me awake though. Not sure what is. So I am just going to ramble for a minute and then make myself attempt sleep. 

You know what I find kinda funny that I feel like no one really tells you about babies..? It is just incredible to me how many times they poop on their clothes!!! I mean, I have heard mention of the occasional "blow out" but for goodness sakes.. I thought it was super rare or something. Maybe it's just my girls... maybe it's time to go up a size on the diapers but all I can say is thank heavens for baby stain getter outer stuff. I think I have washed my Boppy covers at least 4 times this week.. a drip here and leak there.. Goodness. I am pleased that they are eating so well .. I guess I just never knew that poo could just leak out of a diaper like that. Thank goodness it's breastmilk poo so there is not really an odor but still.. I never experienced this side of babies in all my years of baby sitting. 

Another thing I was surprised about, pleasantly this time, is how sweet their breath is. I am sure each mother thinks her baby's breath is sweet, but I suppose it never occurred to me that they would have such sweet breath. 

Sometimes it's hard for me to make myself put them down for a nap - crazy? Usually someone is fussier than the other (varies from day to day) so the least fussy one goes in the swing for a nap and I hold the other until they are sleepy enough to put down in the crib. It's so hard some days for me not to just hold and snuggle that little sleepy/sleeping bundle for the entire nap time. I think I have said all that before.. but again.. I suppose it bears repeating. 

Ok.. enough cheesy nonsense. I am ordering myself to bed. 

Highlights

Double decker baby daddy. This is how we spent most of Sunday.. no church.. one walk.. lots of crying and fussiness.. a long Saturday night preceded this long Sunday in which we actually started watching old home videos of ourselves pre-twins. The house was a wreck, but somehow we managed to cook a pot of chili (I was cooking while Stephen sported both babies) and have a pretty decent day after all. We enjoyed watching Jeremy and Michelle's wedding, puppy videos of Oliver and our first trip to New York .. the pre-grad school trip. In one part of that video Stephen and I are walking through a street fair in Chelsea and I ask him what he thinks of New York and does he think he would ever like to live there.. he said yes. 

Monday saw the girls getting their first ever full on tub bath (Margot's belly button FINALLY came off!!!) We took a tiny video and two photos.. see.. it's really a two person job to bathe the little ones so all 4 parental arms were needed so we salvaged what we could for a few memories and then got down to business. They were cold and that luke warm baby approved water doesn't stay "hot" for long. 

Both Ada and Margot are trying desperately to smile at us. They have almost got it and it has happened very briefly a few times already - briefly meaning mili-second and no it's not a "gas smile" its the makings of a real I-see-you-mommy/daddy smile. 

They have been exploring their play gym this week as well. We try to play as much as we can during the day, but those sessions are usually short ones. They can get overstimulated pretty quickly some days. They  are holding onto rings and some toys now which is pretty fun. Ada held onto her frog toy and brought it up to her mouth over the weekend. It's amazing to me how quickly new sensations overwhelm them. Something soft feels good to them one moment but soon becomes and issue and they are ready to let it go or move away from it. They still sleep a lot during the day so many times crankiness during play time is easily remedied by a nap. 

Ada says "What is the problem Margot? I think this is a perfectly fine way to spend 10 minutes of our day."

Why am I still awake.. well.. I am on duty.. despite an evening walk (we went for one this morning too) and a double feeding session, Ada and Margot have decided to stay awake and not fall asleep tonight. We put them down 2 hours ago and soon after I sent Stephen to bed since I had a nice nap today. I think Margot is finally out and I just fed Ada again so hopefully this will be it. Sheesh. Last night they went down so easily and slept so well.. I swear every day is different. Once you think you  have got a system down they change it up on you  and you are back to square one. Have I said that before? Probably, but it bears repeating I think. 

Stephen and I talked a lot about "home" this weekend - "home" being New York/Brooklyn. When we think of Florida and NC (respectively) they don't feel like home.. why is that? Why did we feel more at home in a place we lived for only 2 years? Was it because it was the first place we made a conscious choice to live ? Was it the fact that we felt like we fit in so well there? Who knows. It's hard not to dream of moving back. We talk about it a lot. What if we won the lottery? We could buy a brown stone in Park Slope or Sunset Park and Stephen could have a studio in that building down by the F train. We could fly to see family 'cuz we would be super rich. Heck, we could fly family to see us! We pretend we will move back when the girls are a little older.. before they start school. We are out of our minds, I know this. We are so blessed here in Raleigh - so blessed to be part of this instant community of incredibly wonderful people. So why the heck would we want to go back to bumming around on the subway and walking blocks and blocks to get milk??? I don't understand it. I suppose I have never really felt like I fit in anywhere and Brooklyn/NYC was the first place I have lived that I truly felt at ease and comfortable right away. I felt like I belonged there and I was free to do and say whatever I felt like. No social barriers.. no strange looks.. whatever. I am not going to start whining about missing Brooklyn again I just.. don't get why that place felt like home to us and this place - that is far more home-esque and makes a heck of a lot more sense for us to live in - just doesn't. My Raleigh friends who read this thing probably hate me right now or are rolling their eyes. Rightly so. I know I know... move on.. be grateful. I will.. I am.. really.. goodnight. 

Friday.. again..

So every time I come near the computer when the girls are napping.. they wake up.. start crying/screaming and I have to abort my mission. I am taking a gigantic risk to write this post, but I just felt like making a go of it. They are currently napping next to me on the bed and just now when I started typing, Ada stretched and made a load of her grunting "waking up" noises.. but she has now quieted back down so on we go. 

I have started letting them nap during the day wherever they fall asleep.. I hope this is not bad. I will try and put them in the crib to nap and if they are happy there - so be it. However, if they fall asleep during tummy time - as in the picture above - I will let them nap right where they crash and usually crash right next to them. I have discovered that we all sleep better this way. Moving them to the crib is not always the best idea. 

Nights they spend in their crib without a doubt. Putting them has been relatively easy the last week or so. I feed them their last feeding at 8 or so. Then we change them and Stephen wraps them up tight and we each hold on until they settle down and/or fall asleep then put them in the crib. Usually we have to go in and re-comfort one or both once or twice but that's it. Then the two of us rush to get in bed ourselves to get as much sleep as possible in case they wake up earlier than expected. Normally one will wake around 3am - we get her up and feed her then put her back down - and her sister will wake about an hour later and we do the same for her.. then the alarm goes off at 5 and we are both up getting showers and breakfast while the girls snooze until their first morning feeding at 8.. sometimes it ends up being 7 if they are hungry earlier. So, I guess they are not really sleep through the night consistently but we feel like they are doing pretty well and it leaves us feeling more rested. 

Stephen loves to hold them first thing when he gets home in the afternoon.

Margot gripping his pocket. They are grabbing at things now. My hair is of course their favorite thing to snag. No smiles yet but they seem to be very close. Lots of cooing and they really enjoy staring into our faces. Holding their heads up well too, these girls are strong! I don't know how I will hold both at once in a few more weeks!

Above you see my birthday present from Stephen.. well these and an ice cream cake from Ben and Jerry's. The man knows how much I love my Terrantino..plus we saw this Grindhouse double feature at BAM in Brooklyn after a particularly lovely dinner so.. it's sentimental in the way that only a cheesy bloody guts and gore B movie can be. 

I have been cleared by my doc to do whatever, whenever. My scar is healing up nicely.. well ..healed  up really. The weather here is fantastic so we are taking lots and lots of nice long walks. Ada loves to ride along and look up at the trees. Margot enjoys this as well sometimes but she peppers in a bit of crying with all that looking. She is not yet as much of a fan of riding in the stroller. Ada likes more movement anyway. She loves for Stephen to zoom her around the room or bounce her up and down. Margot doesn't like these things as much and looks frightened and anxious when the goes for such wild rides with Daddy. Ada seems the daredevil at this age. 

I am doing ok.. the house is not as clean as I would like it but considering I turned down an offer from my mom to come and clean it that is my own dang fault :) Anyway, we cleaned half of it last night and we will do the other half tonight. My days are long but I am making it. Feels sort of like a marathon of sorts. A marathon where you are constantly on call to have to step off to the side and rock a baby. Sometimes I feel like my back is going to break in half if I have to stand up for one more second. So I have to let one of my girls cry in the crib while I comfort the other from the rocking chair. I try to comfort the crib bound one from afar "It's ok Margot.. you're ok Mommy's right here.." and so on.. but that doesn't do too much. Sometimes .. you just have to let them cry.. am I right? I try to let this happen as infrequently as possible but I am only human and only one person with only 2 arms. When Stephen comes home in the afternoon he is already tired from work but jumps in anyway, heating up dinner, holding babies, bathing babies etc. It really is the most work I have done in my entire life. I try to sleep when they sleep but honestly sometimes I just have to get a few things done.. and when I attempt it.. they usually wake up. They are still the sweetest babies I have ever known. 

One more thing..I have to just say  that the folks over at St. Davids are just the most amazing people we have ever had the pleasure to encounter. The meals have been incredible, huge batches of home cooked goodness with salad and sometimes even desert! Last week we were given the largest apple pie I have ever seen in my life! Anyway, we are so blessed and so thankful for their generosity to us. They just keep blessing us and blessing us over and over again.  Really could not have dreamed up a better place for Stephen to be working.

Friday

Finally, Friday has arrived. That means that Stephen will be home with me for the next two days. Hurrah! 

The girls had a great doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Ada weighed 7lbs 13 oz and measured 20 and 1/2 inches while Margot was 7lbs 14 oz and 21 and 1/2 inches in length. They insist on keeping up with each other! One ounce apart and they both have grown exactly 1 and 1/2 inches since they were born. Everything else looks good. The doctor did say she heard a slight heart murmur in each of them but it is apparently very normal for this age and should disappear soon. She was not concerned but said we would keep a close eye on it for the next few appointments. 

Soon it will be time for those dreaded vaccinations. I want to have them vaccinated, but I am concerned about the amount of vaccinations that are given to their tiny systems at once. All you moms out there... any advice ? After talking at length with the doctor, a new mom herself, I feel so confused that I am inclined to just do it they way the office suggests and say a prayer for their safety. Still, what did the rest of you do about this ? She told me we could do it any way we wanted too and rattled off a bunch of technical mumbo jumbo about when this needed to take place and this other thing and the timing of that as compared with the first one etc etc etc.. yadda yadda yadda. Sheesh. I am glad she is flexible but seriously, how am I supposed to come up with a plan for this when I am not a doctor!?  Help...?

The girls are sleep super well at night right now. Last night they didn't even cluster feed and they slept almost straight through. Margot woke at 2:30 (after going to bed at 9:30) and I fed her, then Ada woke at 4 something. Previously I would make sure both were awake at the same time to feed at night, but I am trying a new strategy. Since the doc said it was ok to start phasing out that early AM feeding, I am letting each girl decide on her own whether she wants to wake to eat or not. If she wants to sleep through, then so be it. So far this strategy has afforded Stephen and I some super rested mornings. With feeding only one baby at a time, I can nurse on my side (aka snooze and nurse at the same time) so he doesn't have to be awake to change diapers and try to keep babies awake enough to eat etc - I can do it all on my own. I "rest my eyes" while they eat. The fall asleep after they are done and we tuck them back into bed. I am sure you are all super interested in all of this. 

Yesterday was a tough day. Stephen stayed just a little late at work. I was expecting him earlier so I had started to watch the seconds tick by when he arrived at the front door. I asked him to watch the girls for me so I could get a few things done around the house - soon after bursting into tears in his arms as I tried to scurry around, doing laundry and organizing the disaster of a desk that I have been staring at for days. He was such a sweetheart and decided that after he had given the girls their bath, he would take them for a drive. He reasoned that it might help me just relax to know they were out of the house and therefore the possibility of them crying at any moment would be removed from my mind. What a great idea! I had never thought of that but he was right. Just those 30 minutes alone with no tears was super refreshing. I got things in my house tidied and even managed to write a few thank you notes. I have to admit, seeing him drive away with the two of them sleeping sweetly in their car seats did make me tear up a little. The thing of it is, they are just so good. Don't get me wrong, they cry - quite a bit - but they are babies .. you know? That's what babies do. I do my best to comfort and engage them but sometimes despite it all - they just cry. I can hold them both at once, though it's not easy, and when this becomes necessary I do my best to comfort both but.. it's hard ya'll. I have taken to letting them nap on the bed with me in the morning. The rest of the day and night they sleep in their crib but after that first morning feeding.. it just seems to work best to have family nap time. I have yet to get frustrated with them because I feel like we are all in this together. They do their best to be patient and let me know what they need and I do my best to accommodate. It's myself that I get frustrated with. Why am I not strong enough to take care of them and manage the house as well ? Why do I choose to take a nap sometimes when they are sleeping when I could be doing other things ? I know I need to rest, I know that all of this will take time but it's hard. I must admit.. I also want my body back. Badly. Seeing my reflection some days can make me want to cover the mirrors in the house. Stringy hair, that belly, those thighs, the same 4 outfits (I plan to remedy that one this weekend with some birthday shopping!) I know this too will take time but I am just saying.. it's hard for me. I am working on it, taking walks really helps my mood. Still, I guess I am just an impatient person. I have been the same size since high school.. until now.. it's hard to go 29 years being the same size and then in 9 months.. it seems that nothing you own will fit on your body. Worry not. I am not trying to diet while breast feeding twins - I don't diet anyway, never have. Just expressing what I am battling over here. In a word.. an acute case of vanity. 

Not to harp on a subject but man.. these girls are just so sweet. Sometimes I hold them for a long time when they have finished eating. We sit in a big pile I feel guilty for not being more creative with their "awake time" in that moment, but all I want to do is talk to them and watch them crane their little necks up to look at me, their hands like tiny star fish grasping at my face, gripping my shirt. Nothing is more precious that watching them work a pacifier in their sleep, that little plastic front bobbing up and down. Some days I think I would just like to hold them the entire day. I was never much of a baby person.. but this is totally different. 

Ok, done rambling. 

Today I am this many..

..that's right .. today I enter my 3rd decade of life... and what a day it has been already. The girls present to me began last night, when they decided to cluster feed for almost 5 hours straight. How was this a present you might ask? Well, they then proceeded to .. wait for it.. sleep through the night!!!!!!! Well.. Margot did wake once at about 2:30 and fed for a few minutes before passing out again and try as we might, Ada would not wake to feed a single sip. In my book that is sleeping through the night. This morning I had both a shower and breakfast before they sweetly (screaming the whole time) came with me to drop Stephen off at school and then we came back home and had a big family nap time on the big bed. I have recently learned (as of yesterday) that if they so bless me to fall asleep with me there on the bed after nursing, that I should curl right up  next to them so we can all get some shut eye, instead of attempting to transfer them to the crib. So we all napped while watching Pride and Prejudice. 

Oliver too wished me Happy Birthday today by attempting to devour the girls basket of toys that I left within his reach when I took Stephen to school. Poor pup. He thought they were all for him.

Here is Stephen this weekend managing the ladies while I got ready for Church. That's right, we all went to Church on Sunday - together! The girls slept right through like champs - though I jumped at every single grunt and squeak - down on my knees in front of their carriers rocking and sshhh'ing. Sunday was the launch service for Fellowship Raleigh so it was an especially special service for them to attend. 

I even dressed them in little dresses for the trip. I failed to take pictures until we were home and they were both screaming with hunger by then so I am afraid this will have to do for both. This is Margot, momentarily passed out from her tirade. I assure you they were both super duper adorable. 

Things to be thankful for on my birthday: 

1. Loads of awesome birthday checks!!!! What oh what to spend them on :)

2. My sweet sleeping baby girls

3. My sweet hardworking husband

4. The incredible faculty at St. David's who will be bringing our family meals on Monday,                  Wednesday, and Friday from now until October 13th!!!!!! Unbelievable. 

5. My spa gift certificate from Mom and Dad

6. My fabulous stroller that allows me to get out of the house and get some fresh air

7. Lunch with Ellen yesterday

Hmm.. I could go on and on but I must stop so I can wake the little ones so they can eat before we head out for their doctor's appointment. Excited to see how much they weigh this time. It has been a fabulous birthday morning thus far :)

Weathering the storm

Both Stephen and Ada are wearing purple today. Someone's getting a little milk belly :)

So the hurricane has come and gone without too much damage done - at least in our neighborhood. Man, am I tired of seeing them talk about it on the news.. every single stinkin' channel has had nothing on but hurricane coverage since yesterday. Annoying, since the storm only had about 20 MPH winds around here.. not that big of a deal folks - move on! I can't handle the local news around here, I mean they were giving "rainfall updates" when they didn't have anything else storm related to talk about. Wow.. I was wondering just how much rain had fallen in my hood. Sheesh. 

Yesterday was quite a challenge. Here's how it went down. 

Stephen's ride to work forgot he had a prayer meeting to lead yesterday morning and had to beg out of giving him a ride at the last minute. No problem. We loaded the girls in the car and I drove him to work. Ah, nice to get out of the house and feel useful. Back at home, I set about dealing with a recent health issue. See, Margot has had a tiny case of thrush. It had gone away completely, but then I noticed it had returned on Wednesday and called the pediatrician. The nurse I spoke to thought it might be an internal yeast infection (internal as in.. in my breasts...hmmm maybe that is why I have been feeling those electric shock waves of pain) on my part and that I should call my OB to get some Diflucan to take care of the problem. Oh and by the way continue to give the antibiotics to both girls now, and also put some of the antibiotic liquid on myself after I nurse, and make sure to boil all my bras and hang them in the sun to dry, and boil anything the girls have had in their mouths after each nursing session.. and don't let them share anything. Simple enough right? I can keep a steady batch of binkies sterilizing. So feeding sessions look like this: give each girl her medicine (wipe up the yellow sticky goo that does not make it down the hatch and ends up running down their chins and cheeks), nurse, spread said sticky goo on myself, attempt to interact with babies during their "awake time", spend however long it takes to get them down to sleep - with assistance of binkies - put girls down to nap. Wake them up to nurse in 3 hours, confiscate tainted binkies and toss in dirty binky bowl on shelf - to await sterilization - start process all over again. Got it. I can handle that. Oh drat! Forgot to call the OB for that pesky Rx for myself. Call OB. OB wants me to come in and be seen. Grrrrr!!! They have an appointment at 2pm... I am waiting for her to tell me which day this 2pm appointment is available when it dawns on me that she might mean today.. she did mean today (well yesterday.. Friday).. yes today at 2pm .. it is currently 1:30 so I have 30 minutes to get it together and get to the doctor. Thank GOD I had my shower already and the girls had just eaten and were down for a nap. Got them up and safely installed in their car seats, trying not to think about the fact that this would be my first time trying to get anywhere with both of them alone. Margot snoozes away, Ada is not pleased about the task at hand, Oliver tries to eat my alive as I leave him alone in the house for the second time that day. Am amazed that I can carry both car seats at once. Race to the doctor's office where kind women appear at every turn to open doors for me and my oversized load. Sit on edge of seat, praying that Ada will nod off. She stays quiet but looks reproachfully up at me, working that binky. My name is called. I struggle over to the nurses station where they take my blood pressure and weigh me (gulp). I am pleased to see that I am a mere 20 lbs from my normal weight - not too shabby. Go back to sit and wait for the real appointment to start - all the while fielding comments and questions about the girls. Finally it's really my turn. I stand over the babies in my paper gown alternately reinserting pacifiers and praying they will stay quiet. Remember suddenly that I haven't had lunch yet!!! Feeling lightheaded. Doc comes in and apologizes for making me come in (Dang straight!) and gives me the Rx the pediatrician recommended - 2 Diflucan a day for 10 days - Yikes, my poor liver. I hurry back out of the office and out to the car where I start to wonder if it might not be safe for me to drive - so hungry I can't see straight. Quick prayer. Decide that I MUST stop for fast food. Head for the closest Wendy's but turn into the McDonald's instead by mistake - oh well. Once I have my food I realize there is no way I can get home and eat this before the girls wake up to eat again. It has started to rain by this point. Pull into the closest parking lot and shovel down my "food". Just as I finish the girls start to stir. We head for home. Now it's really starting to come down and I have no umbrella to cover the girls with. Duh. Cover each car seat with the girls respective blankets they are snuggled in and carry one at a time back into the house. Take a deep breath and both girls are suddenly wide awake and starving. Settle in to nurse. Stephen calls - he is ready to come home  - did I want to pick him up or should he try to find a ride? I need to get to Target to pick up that prescription and also get some extra pacifiers since we now are going through them like water. Decide to pick him up myself so we can all go to Target as quick as possible. Yet again, load the poor, tired little girls back into the car hoping against hope that they will not start cluster feeding right now. Stephen sits with the girls in the car while I run inside since I can't remember which pacifier we have been using recently and can only recognize it by sight. LOVE the girl at the pharmacy counter. She recently moved down from the Bronx and is just so fantastic. She has my stuff ready within minutes and I run back out to the car and head back home to feed the girls again, who by this time have woken up. Busy day.. busy busy day. I am pleased to announce that I made it through without a single tear - must have been the adrenaline. 

The sun is finally out and I am watching Stephen work on set ideas for this years production of Cinderella at St. David's while  Rashomon plays out on the television screen. Margot has been seriously fussy the last 2 days and is therefore napping in her little seat and enjoying her first taste of Japanese samurai films. She can't seem to stay asleep in the crib, where her sister is contentedly snoozing. 

They have started to discover their sense of touch this week. Reaching out to touch our shoulders and arms when they are being picked up. Touching each other's hands while they nurse and exploring their blankets, binkies, and outfits with outstretched fingers. They touch and grab and then quickly withdraw their hands after a few moments as if the sensation has become too much to bear in that instant. 

I keep seeing glimpses of their future selves in their little faces. The faces we will help learn to crawl and walk, ride a bike and drive a car, coming into focus for brief seconds at a time. Pieces of the day where they look less like babies and more like little girls. I do my best to interact with them in their awake times. Touching their skin with various toys of different textures, calling them by name and trying to decide if they are looking at me or through me- mostly through me right now. 

I hope this sunshine lasts outside, it's shaping up to be a great day for a walk. 

Four Weeks

Four weeks ago today, I was sitting in a hospital bed feeling sick with nerves, watching "Cash Cab" with Stephen as we waited for the nurses to come get us. I remember the girls being super uncomfortable and moving around quite a lot while I tried desperately to relax. 

Today I sat listening to the Coldplay channel on Pandora and watching Margot suck furiously at her pacifier and Ada stare transfixed at the light coming through the window in the living room. Any moment Ada will grow tired of sitting in her seat and want to be held and talked too. She likes to be given tours of the house. I walk her through each room, holding her upright so she is facing me, and describe what takes place in each space. She listens with apparent rapt attention and watches the light dancing off the ceiling. Margot sits contentedly in her seat, with pacifier, staring at Stephen's mineral paintings. They are black and white. Soon they will each be telling me, with their "talking" cries, that they are ready for a nap. We will endure another diaper change and the screaming that comes with such activities that tend to wake a baby up instead of putting her to sleep as she wishes. I will listen to Ada scream at the top of her lungs while I change and swaddle Margot, and Margot ask quietly for her pacifier while I calm and take care of Ada. Then Ada goes down while I snuggle Margot for a few minutes. Ada's turn. Once everyone is happily drowsy, Oliver and I leave them to their dreams.

Today I tried a different strategy for making sure I get a shower and breakfast in a timely manner. I decided to get up with Stephen after their 5 am feeding and do it all then. That way if someone is in need, Stephen can help them out while I finish getting ready for the day. It worked like a charm this morning. It was incredible to start the day feeling clean and refreshed, instead of waiting around in my PJs for them to sleep long enough for me to wash up. I feel excited that I might be able to start eating breakfast with Stephen before he leaves for work. I feel energetic enough to tidy the house before taking a cat nap on the couch before the next feeding at 8. Margot woke right on cue, and I had to rouse Ada. 

The sun is shining through the windows, the babies are sleeping quietly in their crib, my house is tidy and I am enjoying a tall glass of cranberry juice and sparkling water... life is good. 

PS - for those of you who are wondering, yes, I have had some bad days. Yesterday was particularly trying. The drains in our house were clogged and the repair men were here during my one window to take a shower so I didn't get to shower until Stephen came home last night. My house was a disaster and the girls were rather a little more demanding than usual so I didn't get to even make the bed, barely got to eat or drink anything. I spent the majority of the day biting back the tears and the evening with Stephen letting them all out. So yeah.. today is a welcome change. 

Happy Four Weeks on earth baby girls. 

Clusters

There are many things that come in clusters... grapes for instance.. well around here pacifiers come in clusters and most recently.. feedings. Yesterday the girls started cluster feeding. For those of you who have never heard of this, it means that instead of eating every 2-4 hours, a baby might eat every hour or even more frequently in some cases. In our case, it meant that after the girls 4pm feeding, they did not go to sleep for more than 10 minutes, then awoke screaming for more food and proceeded to eat again at 5, 6, and 7. Since each feeding session last about 30 minutes that means that they ate, stayed awake for a few minutes, slept for a few minutes, then awoke again starving and started the process all over again. Wow. I was nervous that they weren't getting anything after the 2nd feeding but I was assured by my online research that they were, in fact, getting food and I could hear them gulping so that was also reassuring. One site I looked at said that sometimes babies do this as they are gearing up to sleep for a very long time, sometimes all night. Ada and Margot did not sleep through the night, but they did end up sleeping for two 5 hour stretches so.. that's not half bad. Funny thing is, Stephen and I both felt like we had been hit by a truck. You would think that more rest would be refreshing , instead we were more tired.. must have been the past week catching up with us or something. 

I was fully expecting them to do that again tonight but so far so good.. maybe that will change after the next feeding. Right now they are both sleeping soundly. 

This weekend has been super relaxing. The weather today has been so nice and cool that we were able to leave the windows open for most of the day. September is most definitely my favorite month of the year.. and not just because it's my birthday month :) Speaking of which, I keep remembering, at the oddest times, that I am about to turn 30.. the big 3-0. I always thought I would have some huge celebration (of sorts) for my 30th birthday but somehow it seems inconsequential in light of the present goings on in our home. The girls have their next doctor's appointment on my birthday in fact so hopefully they will have put on a pound at least and we will have multiple things to celebrate :) 

Looks like we made it..

Check! Made it through the first week alone with flying colors. Friday was the culmination of what I consider to be a pretty decent week, and we celebrated with having the busiest day imaginable... well.. busy for parents of new twins at least..

My brother John and his wife, Mariel, are in town for the holiday and they stopped by with Dad for a surprise visit, and brought a HUGE basket of all sorts of goodies(from their recent trip to CA) for us and the babies and stayed awhile to hold them. I think Mariel looks like a natural don't you?

Feeling extra ambitious (and a little like I would lose my mind if I didn't get some fresh air soon), Stephen and I FINALLY took the girls for their first walk in their fabulous stroller (courtesy of Aunt Margie and Uncle Gavin). What a fantastic stroller it is too. Goes through the front door with the greatest of ease. Walking around the block felt incredible, aside from the terrible humidity. Can't wait to take that baby out for a few more spins in the coming weeks. 

Back at home from out short stroll, we anxiously awaited the arrival of our friend Nathan and his wife, Suki. They were stopping in on their way to NYC to deliver/install Nathan's work for a show he is having up there with his new gallery. This was the girl's first time meeting Uncle Nathan and though he hates having his picture taken, he allowed Stephen to take one leaving out his face :) Who wants to venture a guess at which baby he is holding?

After they got back on the road, I fed the girls and we headed to St. David's for the first football game of the season.. yes we brought the girls with us..yes I know they aren't supposed to be out in public places until they are 8 weeks old BUT we kept them in their car seats, forbade anyone to touch them, and figured an open air venue would be pretty safe germ wise. They were a hit. We got to meet and visit with lots of faculty and students and though the Warriors were hustled off the field shortly after kick-off due to lightening, we enjoyed the outing and are looking forward to many more. Ada and Margot slept soundly through the whole experience. 

With the clock ticking (their next feeding approaching fast) we bade farewell to football scene and headed to the car with our bundles of joy in the hopes of making it to Erin's birthday soiree before the girls were ready for their dinner. We made it with minutes to spare and enjoyed visiting for  a few moments with everyone from FR before Margot began to stir and we snatched them back up and raced for home, stopping at Arby's to grab some super nutritious dinner. 

I honestly couldn't believe we did it all. It was such a treat to get out of the house and visit and just ride around in the car!  Of course all that activity wore me out and I passed out cold as soon as the girls were fed and put to bed. I have been recovering all day.. but it was worth it! Stephen is home this weekend and has Monday off of course so he has been the perfect husband that he always is and doing loads around the house to help me out. I have been able to sleep uninterrupted and have not had to carry both girls on my own to accomplish feedings..in fact.. I think I have only changed 1 maybe 2 diapers all day! Such a blessing.. I feel so rested and am looking forward to a good night's sleep. 

Here is baby Margot after her bath this evening. 

Ada, ever the cool cat, waiting to be bathed. I seem to recall an almost identical picture of their Uncle John asleep in his crib with his arms behind his head. 

So the whole stay at home mom thing is working out pretty well so far. It has it's easier moments and those more difficult ones. I really started to enjoy the solitude of being alone with my children the most towards the end of the week. Once I get my energy and strength (in by back) completely back I will really be cooking with gas. Their little personalities are really starting to shine. Ada is still my sensitive girl and though both babies cry, her cries are more desperate most days and she really enjoys a good cuddle. Margot loves to cuddle as well and is our quieter baby, her cries being more communicative and less desperate sounding. Both girls have very healthy lungs and can scream with the best of them. They are staying awake a little more, a little longer each day and that has been fun so far. Anyway, things are going well. The only time the "baby blues" seem to hit me is during those early AM feedings when my groggy ladies aren't as quick to latch and for some reason I feel irrational and hormonal - despite the fact that the entire day may have gone off without a hitch. I really have to battle my attitude during those feedings.. and that is something new as they used to be relaxing to me (for some odd reason). Ok well enough prattling on, dinner is served. Thanks for everyone's continued prayers for us. Stephen's week at school went even better than the last. 

Let me rephrase...

The super baby stretch

... I know I said yesterday would be my first day alone..and it was.. well.. I am about to have my first week alone with Ada and Margot. Sweet Aunt Tracy has spent the last 3 days riding to the airport only to have to return home with cancelled flights and the like. She has wisely decided that it would serve everyone better if we just postpone her trip until all this nasty weather clears up - I am in complete agreement as I think a later visit would be a welcome break from my new routine. So anyway.. yeah.. the best laid plans right? 

All is well here at Camp New Mommy. Today has been admittedly more difficult than yesterday.. beginners luck? The girls are sleeping fitfully today and I have not yet managed a shower.. though I see it coming in the very near future.. as in.. right after I finish with this post. Ada has been practicing her chameleon skills. She is very adept at turning purple and then changing back to a normal color once I am able to pick her up. I knew she would be my sensitive one and this is becoming more evident with each passing hour. Thank the Lord for Jane's musical mixes that she sent us in Brooklyn.. without these calming tunes I might be in worse shape but so far so good. 

So all you pray-ers out here.. I got some requests.. please pray for continued patience and peace for my little people.. above all.. please pray for my back..my back has been killing  me since I came home from the hospital and it makes doing anything pretty trying.. even Advil doesn't really take care of it..I am doing all that I can to stand up super straight (even with my new set of bowling balls) and pull my shoulders back .. and strengthen my back and awaken my abdominal muscles so I have some help from my core but.. this is slow going and so far it is still pretty painful.. 

Thank goodness for all those hours of playing with dolls as a child. Who knew my Cabbage Patch soothing skills would come in so handy  :)

Trial Run

Sooooooooo thanks to Fay, my help this week (Aunt Tracy) had her flight cancelled last night and won't be here until this afternoon.. yes that means that I am flying solo today. It had to happen eventually and I am up to the challenge, even though it is coming a few days sooner than I thought it would. 

I kissed Stephen goodbye this morning, then hugged him tight, biting my lip to keep the tears at bay until he was out the door. Then I sat down to give myself a pep talk. I tried to pray but couldn't think of what to pray for so I just prayed for help and patience, feeling more tears welling up in my eyes. Ada was already waking up, starting to cry with hunger. Deep breath. Go into my bedroom and get all pillows, Boppies, baby medicine and burp clothes ready for the morning feeding. Went in to open the blinds in the girls' room and unwrap them to get them started waking up for breakfast. Ada gets louder, Margot is still sleeping peacefully. Decide I need some soothing music to keep my emotions at bay. Turn on a quiet iTunes mix. Pick up Ada to change her diaper - discover her diaper was not tight enough and she has peed on her shirt, poor baby. Put her back down to go make sure the load of baby clothes from last night is dry in the dryer (so I have more blankets if I need to change her blanket too). Ada is starting to turn red with all the crying. Pick her up again and change her diaper, decide to go ahead and put on a fresh Onesie, calm her down so I can get Margot ready to eat as well. Pick up Margot who immediately starts to protest. Her cries silence Ada who lies on her back staring contentedly up at Margot and I from the crib. Start to change Margot, she chooses the moment I open up her diaper to pee all over herself and the new diaper. Deep breath. Discard both old and new diaper.. get another new diaper and secure it in place. Wipe a screaming Margot down with a diaper wipe. Change her clothes. Ok.. we are ready. How to pick up two wiggly babies at once. I find it easier to hold them both in the "football hold", one on either side. Tuck Margot under my left arm, reach down into the crib with my right and scoop Ada up, quickly tucking her under my right arm.. and we're off to the bedroom to eat. Put each down on the bed, climb into position. Watch Ada turning purple with her ever increasing hunger cries. Apologize to Ada, trying to soothe her verbally and remind her that I have to give Margot her antibiotics before we get started. Margot looks on contentedly licking her lips and glancing over at Ada's breathless screaming face. Deep breath. Give Margot her medicine, which she takes like a champ. Put Margot back down and scoop up Ada who latches on like a like a champ and starts to eat her breakfast with vigor. Lean over carefully (making sure not to dislodge Ada) and lift Margot into position, who too latches on and starts to eat. We did it! I lean back and sing along to the Regina Spektor song drifting in from the living room. 30 minutes later the girls have nursed themselves into a sleepy stupor. I put both back on the bed and burp them one at time. Then it's back to the nursery football style. Another diaper change for each and a good swaddle and they are down for the count. Yeah!!  Feeling ambitious and energized I make the bed and tidy the bedroom, head to the kitchen and wash the few dishes there before fixing my breakfast. My back starts to ache a touch and I take my Advil and remind myself that I better not overdo it since I have only 3 hours before I need to do this all over again, so I better make the best of the time that I have - translation - make sure I get a shower and a nap. Speaking of which, I better get going :)

Mile Stones

There has been a lot of family nap time around our house lately. Ada and Oliver enjoying a particularly sweet moment. 

The girls went to their weigh in appointment on Friday. This was the first time that they have been out in something other than a baby t-shirt or a Onesie. These adorable outfits came to them courtesy of Nicole and Adam and even though they are tad big on them now, they are pretty cute if I do say so myself. 

Drum Roll please.... after a week of nursing like a fiend and giving Ada many syringes of milk to supplement her short nursing sessions.. both girls weighed in at 6 lbs 5 ounces!!!! That means that Margot gained 3 ounces over her birth weight by this "crucial" two week mark and Ada was only 1 ounce shy of her birth weight- which was of no concern to the doc. Yeah!!!!! I could feel the stress melting off my brain as the nurse announced their official poundage. I am so proud of my good eaters and now we can get down to the business of learning how to be a family without the worrying about certain little girls starving or shrinking or something. We celebrated with some fabulous cheesecake that one of Stephen's teacher friends sent over. 

Yesterday, Ada Grey lost her belly button! Hurrah! That means that a true bath is on the way (so far it's only been sponge baths). We decided we will wait for Margot to lose hers as well since these babies like to do as much as possible together. We are very proud of Ada and even more excited that we no longer have to tiptoe around that scary little area - btw... looks like she is going to be an outie. 

We are still feeling very blessed by the easy going nature of our girls. They do have a difficult time setting between 9pm and 11pm but we are learning strategies to deal with this. The funny thing is, every time we get them figured out and have it down to a science.. they change it up on us and we get to start from scratch again. 

As far as personalities go.. they are the same now that they were in the womb. Ada is our active super vocal one, while Margot is mostly quiet and content. However at night, though Ada might take a little longer to get to sleep, once she is sleeping she is down for the count.. while Margot may take quite a few more calming sessions to completely settle into sleep... she will nap and wake crying several times while Ada is snoozing next to her.  They enjoy holding their little bobble heads up off of our shoulders, to have a good look around at their environment. Both have super strong backs and legs and have almost launched themselves off laps several times already - no wonder I always felt like I was bruised inside while I was pregnant. They are starting to be more awake after feedings during the day and love to sit in their baby seats and check each other out. 

Mary was here helping out this week and we had such a great time with her. Still, we have enjoyed our alone time as a family yesterday and today. We need and love all the help we are getting, but there is something so special about being in ones home with your best friend and your babies that you just can't beat. 

We broke down and got a baby monitor so that we can sit outdoors without having to rush in every few moments to see if anyone is awake or in distress. The weather here is pretty amazing today so we are hoping to get out the stroller and go for a walk, another first for Ada and Margot since they have only been out in their car seats to the doctor and back. 

Most surprising thing so far about parental sleep deprivation, the hallucination factor. Lack of sleep does not bother me as much as some - too many all-nighters in college. Stephen has had a little more trouble. There have been several times that he has awoken to bring me the babies for a feeding and once he sits up on the side of the bed, he bends over the corner of the mattress and starts swaddling or un-swaddling a phantom baby. I see this and inquire as to what he is doing and I am told that he is getting Ada/Margot, to which I reply that both girls are still in their crib - he declares that they are right there and he has them - I gently reiterate that they are indeed still in bed as I can still hear them crying - he disagrees but humors me by going to check and returns with one of the girls in his arms. One particularly disturbing episode found him returning from the girls room (after I sent him there with a sleeping fully satisfied baby to put her down to sleep) and flopped across the end of the bed with the sleeping bundle in the crook of his arm - when asked what he was doing he declared that he was trying to wake Ada/Margot up so they could eat. I reminded him they had just eaten.. then told him to stay right there and not move.. I put the other baby down and came back to extract the glow worm he was clutching. I didn't let him get up the rest of the night. He didn't remember any part of that episode in the morning. He has never endangered either girl but it is a bit upsetting to see your spouse completely out of it like that. I think that these episodes stem from Stephen sweetly staying up during that 8-11 fussy time and pacifying the babies while allowing me to sleep through. Last night we were able to do this as a team effort and when he awoke to fetch babies last night he was in his right mind. Still, pretty surprising how lack of sleep can affect the mind. 

Off to take a shower before I have to wake the ladies up for their second breakfast. 

Twin Stuff

This is Ada towards the end of her first nap of the morning. Her sister was crying away right next to her head, ready to eat, and Madame Ada just slept right through. The books I read said that they would sleep through each other's cries but I was sceptical but they were right. One can cry and the other just sleeps right through or might sometimes just lay there looking at the other one as if to say "What is going on with you?"

Stephen and I have been out without the girls twice now. This past Saturday, we went to the Farmer's Market here to get some peaches and ginger ale while my mom stayed and watched the little ones. Yesterday was Stephen's first day of school and to celebrate, the school had a big cookout/covered dish dinner yesterday evening. I was feeling pretty good so I got to go with Stephen while Mary stayed here and watched the girls. We had such a great time and the girls were still sleeping when we called to check in on the way home so we headed to Starbucks for a quick treat with Stephen's giftcard the school gave him during orientation. No, I did not drink anything with caffeine. The girls are sleeping so well I don't want to take a chance on messing that up.

This morning seemed to be the first time they really discovered each other in the crib. They are highly aware of the other's presence, or lack thereof, but this morning was different. I fed them and then we put them down for their usual nap and when we went back in 45 minutes later to check on some noises, there they were wide awake, quietly hanging out together. Ada was checking out their black and white mobile, and Margot was checking out Ada.



It was really so sweet. I have become such an emotional person lately. The other day I was trying to read to them while they were in their baby seats. As luck would have it I grabbed "Guess How Much I Love You" from the bookshelf ...yeah.. I got about 3 pages before the waterworks started. I persevered and finished the book with tears running down my face. Then I thought I would read "My Sister and I" .. another winning choice..more tears. How hormonal can one woman be?!

I tried to catch the visiting on video but I think the prime moments had passed.. still.. it's cute and I hope those of you who have not seen them in person yet will appreciate it. There is quite a lot of tongue thrusting going on here but I promise they had just eaten and they ate really well!

Big Brother

For those of you out there on the interweb who have been wondering how Oliver is faring with all these changes, let me just say that he is the consummate big brother. He wants to be with them whenever they are not sleeping. His bark has become extremely aggressive towards strangers outside out windows and he has taken to launching himself at the screen door and barking non-stop when we have visitors. He has become very protective. Once we allow said visitor inside and he sees that we are friends with the person and they are not here to harm his little sisters, he turns back into the same old Oliver with all the tail wagging and toy exhibiting of his former sibling-less self. 

The other day the room to the girls room was shut and they had started to wake up from their nap and were crying softly inside. Oliver ran to get his favorite bone and started twirling excitedly and wagging his tail outside their door. When I opened the door he ran inside and straight to the crib, jumped up on the side and started trying to put his bone through the slats in crib, wagging his tail the whole time and doing is little happy wiggle dance. It was one of the sweetest displays I have ever witnessed and I knew for sure that he knows that these little ones belong to us and are here to stay. 

When I nurse, Oliver is my nursing buddy. We have two Boppies but I only use one at the moment so Oliver either cuddles in the empty Boppy or on my leg while I feed the girls. 

Ada and I have been spending extra cuddly  time the last few days. She is my inconsistent nurser and when she goes several feedings without really getting a good meal it's hard on Mommy. She still sleeps like she has a full belly and we give her a supplemental syringe of milk but it still bothers me. Extra cuddle time seemed to help a bit yesterday. 

We went to their second weigh in on Thursday and the news was good. Ada gained one ounce and Margot gained two. They are supposed to be gaining 1/2 to 1 ounce a day at this stage so Margot was on the high end and Ada on the low of this scale. The doc was very pleased and said we should keep doing what we are doing. We go back this coming Friday for another check at which point they should have gained their birth weight back so we are really pushing the feedings around here. If you think of us, please pray that both girls will consistently nurse and get full feedings each time. It's really hard to wake a near term infant up for feeding so that is a little added strain on things but they are doing very well.. I am just impatient and have nothing better to worry about I suppose. 

I have already started dreading the day all my help leaves and it's just me here during the day alone with the two of them. I am sure we will figure things out in good time but I must admit it's a little daunting. Right now I would just be happy if my incision would heal fully so that I can be back to my more active self sooner.. again with the impatience thing. All in all everything is well here. Stephen and I are going for a morning outing to the Farmers Market while Mom watches the girls so I better get movin' before they wake up. 

Week One: Glow Worm Infestation

Well we made it through the first week! The girls were one week old yesterday :) Our home has become infested with these little glow worms and somehow we can't seem to remember what life was like before they arrived. A few photos from the past week to catch everyone up.. 

The cocoon the morning of the hatching. This is what 12 lbs of baby looks like. 

Leaving the hospital after having the girls safely installed in their car seats by one of the nurses who then insisted on taking out picture. If it looks like I put on weight that would be because I now have two bowling balls strapped to my chest. 

First glimpse of the glow worms in their home environment. 

This is Ada on the left and Margot on the right. Margot is our finger sucker and loves to get her arm worked out of her Papa's professional swaddling job so she can have a taste. 

Ada enjoying a little Kangaroo Care with Papa. Though the girls were full term for twins (37 weeks) they are still considered premies. Premies really benefit from lots of skin to skin contact with the parents in the early weeks so we spend a lot of time cuddling them to our chests right now. If I could I would do it all day long, they  are fantastic snugglers at this stage. 

One proud Grandpa with sweet Margot. Dad has been driving over to Raleigh (a one and a half hour trip each way) every night he is free to stop in and visit and hold the girls for a little while. We are so glad he and Mom are close enough to get to enjoy these early days with us. 

So here is the skinny on how things are going. I am sure I will soon eat these words but I gotta say.. so far it's been a lot easier than I expected. I am nursing them both at the same time and they  are on the same schedule. Sunday and Monday night, it seems they had their days and nights mixed up but that changed Tuesday night and last night. They are sleeping and waking up at about the 3 hour mark which is what we wanted. Again..I know this is probably beginners luck and we are in for more difficult times ahead but so far.. it really has been awesome and I can even venture to say that I feel pretty rested. I am still taking it easy recovering from the surgery and Mom has been a fantastic help and comfort this week - our house has not been this clean in awhile and she even found the time to bake us a pound cake yesterday! 

Now that I am able to move around better, I am actually able to go and get the girls for feeding at night and leave Stephen and Mom to sleep. That makes me really feel like a mom. I am constantly amazed that they actually recognize my  voice and that sometimes Stephen and I are the only ones who can soothe them. 

Oliver is the best big brother two little girls could want. He scratches at their door when they are crying and when the door slides open he hurries in to check on them, standing up on the edge of the crib and peering up at the new little creatures that are now in his home. He cuddles on my leg every time I nurse them and loves to sniff them and give them tiny little puppy kisses on their cheeks. They  seem to know him already and have never even turned their faces away from his kisses. He faithfully protects them from the mailman every  day and no matter how long or loud he barks, they never even flinch.. even if they are asleep! He has just been as fantastic as we knew he would be and we are so glad to finally be back at home with him. 

The girls had their first doctor's appointment on Tuesday and all was well. The only  item of concern was their weights. They did not lose any weight since leaving the hospital but they also did not gain - so that means they maintained which is a plus but we really need them to gain. SO... the last day and half has been a feed fest. I have been supplementing their feedings with a syringe full of pumped milk and pumping before feedings so that they can get to the good fatty "hind milk" faster when they eat. We have another weigh in today and we hope that they  have put on what they need to. If not, we will move on to other strategies. We are trying really hard to avoid having to bottle feed until they are at least 6 weeks but their thriving is my top priority so if that takes a bottle then.. I am fully on board. The biggest problem I have had is keeping them awake during feedings. It's just because they are so young and it is getting better by the day but it has been a bit of  a challenge. I have tried all the tricks, tickling feet, rubbing their hands, cold washcloth to the face and body, undressing them..they are serious little sleepers. Anyway.. it's getting much much better and will continue to do so as they age. 

So there you have it, week one in our lives as the parents of twins. I am off to take a nap before the next feeding frenzy. Thank you again, everyone for all your prayers for us.. they are working!