Rage.

Dear lady in the powder blue minivan in the parking lot of Trader Joes,

You had better watch your back. And your front because I might just jack you in the face, I am no coward. I have a question for you.. who do you think you are? You who had no children with her as she sauntered out to her minivan this afternoon with one bag in her hand. Did you not see that I was jugggling twins and TWO shopping carts full of food?? Maybe you didn't see that kind person who had to help me out to my car with everything because I had my hands so full. I am sure you didn't know that I had just finished shoe shopping for the little people in my care at Target and after that adventure had successfully gathered enough groceries to feed our family plus another this weekend .. groceries for our trip to Boone. How could you have known that I was clinging to sanity with every last fiber of my being? There is no way you could have known all that..and even if you had.. why should you care? You shouldn't. I get that I really do. This is the part that confuses me. You most certainly DID see me trying to fasten my toddler's car seat buckles when you activated your automatic door from across the parking lot.. scaring me out of my skin.. I know you saw that I was struggling to get my child secured before I shut the door of my car. The scowl on your face as you marched over to your vehicle startled me so badly that I stumbled backwards out of your way with a huge grin plastered on my face stammering apologies .. and in doing so... brushed your minivan with my COTTON shoulder bag.. you continued to scowl and pushed your way into the space I was rushing to vacate.. calmly put your bag into the back of your vehicle and then you stooped to examine the spot where my bag had brushed your minivan.. you shook your head and got in the driver side and slammed the door.. this is where I am confused.. did you really think that my cotton shoulder bag scratched your car?!?!?!??!? Really?!?! I have to say I really wanted you to make eye contact with me after that I really did.. but you just looked away and drove off.. I am writing this now to let you know that you ignited a flame of rage in my chest that took me an hour to extinguish. You were the straw that broke the camel's back today. You have a lot of nerve. I am ashamed of myself for letting you get to me that badly.. but you did. I sure hope whatever had you in such a mood got resolved. I really really hope I don't see you in that parking lot again.. in fact.. I will make sure not to park next to pale blue minivans from now on.

Really..

.. have you ever found old photos of yourself that gave you pause? This one gives me pause because I miss the man in this picture... so much.



..this one gave me pause because I want to go and get myself a pair of shorts or something! Really 15 year old me? Really?! I know you are at the beach but this seems indecent. Maybe that is because 31 year old me is insanely jealous of those ripped arms you are sporting..

Space Saver

Love love love these little creatures that live in my house.



They even cleaned up after themselves.



And then we had a family breakfast.

Multiples and More Question of the Week: Do you really know yourself ?

Write a list of 10 surprising things about yourself

1) I still spend way too much time thinking about our former life in Brooklyn. I miss my front stoop and the weekend walks in the cemetery at the end of the block. I miss running for the subway and the breeze that blew through the station when the train was on it's way. I miss everything about New York... Most of you are probably not surprised by that at all so let's see if the next one yields something more interesting..

2) I have a thing for Jack White.. and Benicio Del Toro ... and this guy

3) I always wanted twins..ever since I was a little girl and my cousin and I pretended to be twins a la "The Parent Trap" every time we were together

4) I have never dyed my hair.. ever.. not sure why.. just never had any interest in it..

5) I have never smoked pot.. ever.. or done any other drugs.. but I can drink like a champ.. well used to .. on certain occasions.. I have definitely called Stephen from a curb in the meat packing district and asked for a ride home.. Him: "No problem.. where are you?" Me: "Meat packing district I think.. not sure which street... there are cobble stones..?".. I love a good Grey Goose dirty martini.. or a good glass of wine..or a beer.. yeah I know.. no more beer now that I am gluten free.. haven't really processed that yet..

6) I married the guy I had the biggest crush of my life on.. and I still get a crush on him at least 3 times a week.. he's such a cutie!

7) I once dropped a lit cigarette down my jeans.. well Abby actually dropped it while trying to transfer it to my mouth as I was talking on the phone to Nathan who was my ride back to Jersey that night.. it went right down my shirt... into my jeans and got stuck on my thigh. It hurt like hell and I started jumping around screaming "I'm on fire!! I'm on fire!!!!" smacking my leg.. poor Nathan. He is such a patient soul. I still have the scar.

8) I have always wanted to stay at home and be a wife and mother.. it is a lot harder some days than I ever thought but overall it has been the most incredible job of my life .. and I really feel like I am good at it. I have never been that great at any of my other jobs.. but this one.. I think I am good at this one.

9) I love to listen to songs on repeat. I have listened to a particular song for two hours before.. yes.. the same song playing over and over for two hours..that was an extreme case but it has happened. I do this with my iPod on so it doesn't drive the other members of my household crazy. Yes, the last song I got obsessed with was Strawberry Swing (thanks again MKD). I have played violin since I was 9 and music sometimes speaks to me on a level that nothing else can (doesn't everyone say that?) so when I find a song that makes me feel amazing.. I just listen to it and feel amazing as long as I feel like feeling amazing. I once drove to Tallahassee listening to the same Weezer CD for the entire 8 1/2 hours. It was like driving through a dream. Don't judge.

10) I have typed this whole list with Ada and Margot sitting on my lap and Kipper: Puppy Love playing in another window open on the screen. I think I have kissed their hair at least 17 times.

Hair

Having two year olds is something special. One minute they are the most delightful creatures and the next you find yourself hiding under the desk. I love that I am more able to reason with them these days. They sit at the table in regular chairs (no booster seats anymore) and drink their water from a regular cup and eat from their plate or bowl just like we do, with utensils. They make an ungodly mess most nights but you know what.. that is something I love about being a parent. I love that they are working as hard as they can to do things the way we do. To grow up, to learn new skills. If they make a mess.. who cares?! The joy Stephen and I get from watching our little girls sit with their heads barely above the edge of the table, sipping water from their cup and wiping their face with their napkin.. learning to eat whatever is on the table that night.. we sit and smile at each other every night and bask in the light of their joy. They tell us, in their own way of course, about their day and what they liked the best about the things they did. They wiggle and squirm in their chair.. sometimes they have to go to time out for pitching a fit or starting a fight with their sibling.. but in the end it is a delight. Feeling like a family is a delight. Giving them more independence is a delight. Helping them learn that it is ok to make mistakes (spilled milk) and that these sorts of mistakes are easy to correct (cleaning up the mess) and that afterward you just go right back to life... there is no lesson to be learned from accidentally spilling ones cup at the dinner table... other than how to clean it up that is.

Hair

Where did Ada go?

Ada and Margot have recently discovered that "How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight?" is their all time favorite story. Thank you Target Dollar Bin.



Did you know that grapes are the preferred breakfast of the purple stegosaurus? Margot did.



Apparently Ada was privy to the fact that her green brontosaurus would be thrilled with this choice as well.



That girl knows how to keep a dino happy.



Not to be outdone by her sister's beating her to the first grammatically correct sentence .. Margot said her first self constructed grammatically correct sentence last night.. and it had four words instead of just three. "Where did Ada go?"

I have a question.. where did my babies go? Heaven help me when they stop saying "Mommy Hoagie".

I found it

We dressed up to play ballerina yesterday and spent some time in the shade of the morning enjoying our sidewalk chalk.

Later that afternoon, Ada was looking for her sippy cup and when she found it she called out "I found it!" .. her first self constructed (grammatically correct) sentence.

Some of my favorite phrases that they are saying as two year olds will soon be a memory.

"Mommy, hoagie?" = Mommy, hold me?

"Itsy Ah-da!!!" = Spider (this comes from us singing them "the itsy bitsy spider" and inserting their names.. as in "the itsy bitsy Ada went up the water spout.." anything that resembles a spider is an "Itsy Ah-da")

"Tuck tuck?" = Mommy tuck me in

All the cool kids are doing it...

..going gluten free I mean. I have finally decided to take the plunge and join the club. I have been hearing for awhile about how cutting out gluten has changed so many lives.. including those who suffer from migraines like I do. Sometimes gluten can just interfere with mineral and nutrient absorption, and that alone can be enough to spark the headaches. I am already on 600mg of magnesium a day plus 200mg of vitamin B2. So maybe if I cut out the gluten these supplements will be able to do their job better. I know it's a bit of a long shot but I am up for anything (except super powerful daily medications ..since I am not done having babies yet.. I think..). It has only been 3 days so far but I really don't find it super difficult - well except for the first day when I ate two pieces of pizza for dinner before I remembered that pizza is not gluten free. Ha. I know already that I am not going to completely forbid myself from ever having it, once again.. since I don't have an official intolerance I think having it once in awhile won't kill me. BUT if after an extended length of time, I find that the migraines are significantly better I sure will have to think twice before scarfing down that Krispy Kreme. I am going to try and stick with this for at least a year. I have read that it takes awhile for the high concentration of gluten to get out of your system and that some folks didn't see a major difference until 12 to 18 months. We will see how long I last. As of now I am highly motivated to learn how to make gluten free goodies. Better be watching the mail Joyce!

Uncle John Strikes Again

Picture it. Two little girls are eat lunch in their diapers (after having soaked their clothes playing with water outside) when suddenly they hear the roar of a FedEx truck driving away from our front door. Outside is a gigantic box with their names on it!!!



Open the box, pull out some paper and there it is!! A barn that goes with their new doll house!! Everything included!! Two riders.. four horses.. hay bales.. fences for jumping.. even a water bucket. Uncle John sure knows how to shop on Ebay.. better yet.. he sure knows how to thrill Ada and Margot to distraction. j



They played for at least 30 minutes before I had to drag them off to their nap.



After nap they played in the box.



A few days ago we got three little packages stuffed with more accessories for the dollhouse. The doll house has more TVs than we have in our own house.. and more furniture. It's quite a comfortable set up. When I opened the blinds to the back door after the girls nap yesterday there was yet another box on the porch! This time it was the truck and horse trailer that go with the barn. Amazing. John you have outdone yourself. These are the only things the girls want to play with now. They have no idea how good they have it!

Today you are this many

Today, you are two. We celebrated last night with the whole family. Margot and Aunt Mariel were practically twins in aqua. Aunt Mariel has such great taste and she bought you your 2nd birthday outfits.







You got two beautiful tiny pianos from sweet Dixie that Uncle Page and Aunt Jenny delivered, and we could hardly get a still picture of you playing them because you wouldn't stop swaying to your own music.





Ada playing a duet with herself.



Daddy made your birthday cake. Devils Food Chocolate Cake with yellow Buttercream Frosting and bright pink sprinkles.



Margot, you ate your cake so delicately with your fork. Ada, you ate your cake so efficiently with your hand.



We finally got to give you your dollhouse! It was from me and your Daddy, Grammy, Nana, Papa and Granpapa. You LOVED it. Which makes us extra happy since we had to scour the earth for one. They don't make these particular houses anymore so we finally found one in a consignment shop in Florida (with the help of Grammy and Aunt Laurie) and then ordered the accessories from eBay. It was so much fun collecting it all and visualizing how you would play with it.. hoping you would like it. Watching you play with it was heaven.



Still working on smiling for the camera.






It rained while we all played inside and ate cake and ice cream. Outside, your Uncle John and Aunt Mariel had created a birthday wonderland for you to play in, complete with bubble blowing cow head and super fun pool with water slide. You were already up way past bedtime and were having so much fun with the cake, this was the perfect way to get cleaned up. We put you into your new bikinis from Aunt Mariel (your very first bikinis by the way!) and went outside into the cool night air to play.



I am not sure who had more fun, you or your Uncle John! We couldn't get you guys out of the pool until 9:30!!! You had so much fun splashing and twirling and going down the slide again and again and again. Margot, you kept running away to sit down in a chair and then zooming back to Uncle John screaming "I'm baaaaaaaack!!!". It was absolutely precious.






Look at those diapers!!!! It always cracks me up to matter how many times I see it.





This morning you got up and ate breakfast in your diapers. Then lounged around playing with your birthday loot. Margot was dressed like a bee (Aunt Mariel again) for a large portion of the morning.



We brought home two of the numerous balloons that were at your party and you have been playing with them all morning.



You look so tiny sitting on that big couch.






I can't believe that at this time two years ago I was being wheeled down the hall to the operating room.. about to meet you for the first time. Ada you were the first one I got to see.. I heard you cry and I started to sob. You were so beautiful. You are so beautiful. Margot, I got to hold you first and you nursed first. You were a pro from the start. You smelled so good and you were so soft and warm. Riding home from the party last night, sitting between your car seats I fell asleep watching you both sleeping peacefully with your softs and "dat-dat" s. I kept smelling your hair, touching your cheeks, kissing your little fingers and they gripped my hand. You are growing up so fast and I want to remember every moment as it drifts by. You are precious to me. I can't wait to see what you will do this year. I love you Ada. I love you Margot. Happy Birthday.