Maine Jumble

What a trip!!!! It was relaxing, it was beautiful, it was refreshing and crisp. We had such an incredible time and Mary and Larry found such a beautiful house right on the water. I did not take any pictures of the house but believe me when I say it was.. perfection.

The pictures loaded in random order and its a lazy Sunday evening so I am going to leave them that way. There are so many pictures.. I just chose a few good ones to share..

The one above is all of us in Acadia National Park...



Stephen tells me this is Bass Harbor Lighthouse. While we were there a bald eagle flew right past us.. it was incredible. Sadly, I still can not load portrait oriented pictures so.. you will have to imagine it until I have time to put it on Photobucket and transfer it from there..anyway.. isn't it gorgeous??



Stephen at Otter Point in Acadia.. He loves to go as far as possible ;)



Stephen and David



Brothers.



We spent one entire day hiking around Isle au Haut. You have to take the mail boat there and it drops you off and comes back at the end of the day and you better be there on time or you are spending the night out there. This was probably my favorite day.. the weather was perfect the scenery was incredible.. it was such an awesome adventure.



Misty morning .. view from the house.



David, Larry and I whale watching in Acadia. No luck :(



More of Bass Lighthouse..



Another family shot at Acadia



On our hike around Isle au Haut, Stephen and David got a little warm and decided to take a swim in the frigid waters...in their boxers. It - was - freezing. They look like they are having fun right ? :)




Yet another beautiful view on Isle au Haut



..and another.. I could sit for hours and listen to the waves crashing against the rocks..



On every coast in the Isle there were loads of lobster buoys washed up on shore.. really colorful and a constant reminder of exactly where you were hiking. The boys played a little baseball.



More beautiful views







In the center of the picture above you can see the little rock cove where we stopped for lunch. This is where the boys went swimming.



Mary and her walking stick at our lunch destination.


The first day we went hiking on Blue Hill.. the lupines were in bloom (purple in the picture).



Here we are at the top.. resting and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes..they were hungry that week!



I couldn't resist putting up another cute picture of Oliver and Stephen :)



One of the best things about our house on the water was the tidal pools we got to examine at low tide. We found a tiny crab in this one along with lots of mussels and snails.



So there you have it. Our long awaited trip to Deer Isle in Maine. Can't wait to go back.

Maine Part One: Oliver's Story

Morning in Maine. The cool salty breeze tousled the fur on Oliver's muzzle as he stood watching for the lobster boats to return to shore. "I'm sure I heard a boat horn out there." he thought.


Oliver trotted to another of the large boulders in front of the house he and his people were staying at for the week. He stretched and he strained but he still could not see the boat he was sure he could hear. He went to speak to Sarah about it.



"Good morning, Sarah! Do you think Stephen would take me out on the kayak today? I can hear the boat out there but I can't see it from this vantage point." Oliver got the feeling Sarah didn't understand his request...she kept clicking at him with this silver object.



Stephen did understand what Oliver was asking, however, and soon the two were paddling along the shore in the red kayak..well Stephen paddled while Oliver scanned the horizon for the missing boat. Oliver made sure to stash a fetching stick in the bottom of the boat ...just in case.



They arrived at a small cove and Stephen turned the boat for shore. Oliver had not heard the horn of the boat in some time now and was beginning to think it had arrived safely at the Stonington harbor. He took a deep gulp of the fresh air and felt the warm sun on his back. Stephen was on the shore calling for him. This was it! He grabbed his stick and hurried over to play fetch on the sand. He had a feeling this was going to be his favorite day in Maine.

Thievin'

(Photo Explanation: This was taken at the coy pond in the Japanese garden at Brooklyn Botanic Gardens.. see that little guy in the middle? That's what I feel like.. gulping for metaphorical air)


So, we spent the last week in Maine on Deer Isle with Mary and Larry. It was wonderful. I will write all about it as soon as those wonderful feelings return to me.
When we got home this afternoon, after a 9 hour drive, we found the door to our apartment unlocked. Our landlord was having the tile in our bathroom fixed while we were away.. so we thought.. odd but .. maybe he forgot to lock up. Inside everything looked ok.... bathroom was actually repaired (SHOCKED) and he even had them fix the hole in our kitchen floor (NICE!).. I walk to the living room and that's when I saw it.. my jewelry box was not closed properly. Still optimistic I huffed and started looking through my jewelry boxes... sure enough.. the diamond earrings my mom passed down to me.. the ones my dad bought for her 15 years ago.... were gone. So was my iPod (Pea was his name...). DAMN IT!!!!! I KNEW I should have hidden all my valuable stuff when we left the house.. but I am always paranoid like that and I knew that our landlord would be there with the guys while they made repairs (yeah right..what a liar). So I left everything where it was... now I am out the iPod that Stephen surprised me with a few years back .. the first expensive gift he ever bought me.. and a pair of priceless earrings...
We filed a report with the police .. and called Paul the landlord.... he was shocked and is looking into it.. but did say that he would pay for whatever was lost. We just have to let him know how much it was worth.
I want to get over this and just be all.. "oh well! I guess that guy needed the $50 those earrings might bring him at a pawn shop more than I did!".. but I can't be since I am currently all.."What the heck was I thinking?!?! How could I have just trusted Paul like that?!! I ALWAYS lock my stuff up!!!!!! Now I have lost the first family heirloom entrusted to me.." You get the picture.
Anyway...Stephen is in Long Island City at an opening that he has some work in tonight. Oli and I are here cleaning the mess they thievin' fix-it guys left behind... trying to hold onto the salt air that I was breathing all week..the smell of the evergreens...trying.. trying..

Sarasota Update: Still no word. Nathan is doing is best to get his situation worked out so we can move on ours. Still feels like its a go.. but we are really praying that we hear something definite before the end of the month. Our buddy Shawn called to say he is taking on some adjunct classes at Ringling this coming year (WOO HOO!!!!) which is AWESOME! So.. anyway.. still waiting for our good news..

Car Update: My sweet Daddy found us a car !!! He bought it for $300 and is fixing it up and donating to our cause :) Its an 87 Honda Accord that happens to be a straight drive. Hmm.. yes I do in fact know how to drive a stick shift (evening lessons from the Oldham days).. not super good at it but I am ready and willing to become an expert for a free car!!!! So, car need has been solved for the moment - check!

It's raining outside...

..it's too bad you can't really capture that wonderfully refreshing feeling that rain brings with it. That nice spring rain smell before it arrives ( you know what I'm talking about ) and the cool air that blows in your open windows after the bottom finally falls out of that black cloud. I think its the most fun when it rains at night or in the late afternoon, when you are sleepy and ready for a nap. Sunday afternoon rain. Perfection.

I am feeling very internal tonight. Glad that Stephen is off with Shawn tasting bourbons at Bar American. Shawn has been here since Friday and as always his presence is so relaxing. Having he or Nathan around is always rejuvenating for me. They sit and talk art with Stephen and they know him and understand the way he thinks as well as I do. So many people don't really understand just what is going on in that head of his, and I hate that feeling that people just dismiss his comments as being "artistic minded". When Shawn or Nathan arrive I feel completely relaxed to just be myself without feeling like I need to protect Stephen from people misunderstanding his ideas or jokes. I am making it sound like Stephen is a total social freak but that's not what I mean. People like him.. love him even. He has warmed many hearts and seems to become an instant favorite with any women he has even worked with. Still... there is something different about the relationship that Stephen, Nathan, Shawn and myself have. Maybe it's because we lived in the same building during the Montclair years.... being snowed in and finishing off a bottle of Jim Beam by 7:30 pm probably didn't hurt either.. that was just me and Shawn though.. Stephen just laughed at our intoxicated antics and Nathan feigned shock at my brazen story telling and paced the living room trying to keep his sanity while being snowed in with us and away from his studio. We all walked to the store for food the next morning and Shawn cooked for everybody. They are like brothers to me I guess. That sounds so mundane.. everybody has some non-family member who is like a "____" to them but seriously.. these guys mean so much. They have taken care of me when Stephen was away on many occasions.
Once, when Stephen was out of town, I borrowed a friends car (Abigail's) to drive home in the snow. In Jersey we lived on a huge hill and when I managed to get the car on the final stretch to a safe parking spot.. it got lodged on a pile of snow. I tried everything to get it out. I was blocking the road. Hmmm.. what to do. Call Shawn. Voice mail. Drat. Call Nathan. Nathan is of course still in his studio (it was late) He is leaving now and he will be right over. Then Shawn calls and to say that he saw that I had called and was everything Ok?? In the end they both showed up to help me un-stick the car then I even think one of them re-parked it for me, properly. Most recently, Nathan went to check out the house we will be renting in Florida (if all goes according to plan) and meet the owners. He called as soon as he left to report his findings, which were, thankfully, all favorable.
Of course I always get a fair dose of teasing when I have to call on them for help.. but it's usually well deserved.

It's been nice being able to host their NY visits the last few months. This will be Shawn's last visit to see us before we move back to FL. He is presently in Orlando so we will be closer to both of them now that we are moving back to the area. As with every visit it's been an eventful one. Bar hopping in our neighborhood being one of the highlights. This ended with a 3 hour discussion session with the most amazing bar tender in all of Brooklyn - possibly the world. Peter Napolitano at Melody Lanes, a vintage bowling alley up the street. And no, in this case I do not mean vintage as in old.. vintage as in original. This guys is a character that I wish I had the courage to photograph. He wears a tux (sans coat) with red bow tie and cumber bun and has a head of white hair a fantastic glasses. Google him.. go ahead.. you know you want too!! This one is pretty interesting..so is this one ...see.. he is a legend.
Another highlight of ShawnZ's visit was seeing Knocked Up (SO good) and then going out to dinner at Noodle Pudding in Brooklyn Heights and walking "the promenade" playing a version of M.B.K. (so evil but so stinkin' fun). I also love the way I feel like I can "girl talk" with him and he doesn't seem to mind. He is a great shopping buddy too. I am going to really miss having him around when he flies out tomorrow. Oh well.. we'll see him again soon.



Earlier in the week we had a pretty bad scare with a really sick puppy! Oliver got deathly ill really late on Wednesday night and we had to wake up our sweetest-people-on-the-planet neighbors, Matt and Lonna, to rush him to the Emergency Vet. They had to keep him over night and all day the next day with IVs in his little puppy arms (which are now shaved). Lonna took us back to pick him up on on Thursday evening and he is now fully recovered but it was the most scared I have been since we have been dog parents. We really thought we were going to lose him. Stephen cried, bless his heart. The vet has no idea what it was (not bad/poison dog food) but it seems to have gone away so for that we are thankful. I am sparing you the gory details of his symptoms but please assume that it was horrific and terrifying and it left him severely dehydrated. So glad he is better.

We are going headed out for Maine on Friday night (or Saturday morning). Really can't wait to get there and do absolutely nothing but sleep, eat, visit, read, and hike. It's gonna be great. I promise to take loads of pictures. Much love..

Ebay and Fig Newtons

Grrrrr!!!! This just in.. Nathan's job finally officially posted so he can now officially go through the interview process.. even though he already has the job. That brings us one step closer to the confirmation of this unofficial position. I wish I was better at keeping secrets.. then the rest of you guys would not have to watch this agonizing process... alas I am not a good secret keeper when it comes to my own life drama.. it leaks into all aspects and thus would have come out anyway. No worries.. it will happen. It just takes patience and time to grow that patience into full maturity. Sarasota isn't going anywhere.

So our Memorial Day Weekend was just fab. We spent most of it with Judy, Don, Riley, Taylor, Tagg, Elsie, MaryAnn, Jay and Lisa (wshoo!) Sorry if I misspelled anyones name there guys. YO! It was family weekend in a massive way!!! Totally fun totally crazy as only a weekend of tourism in New York can be. By Saturday evening I saw that all too familiar look of zoned out indifference in the eyes of the younglings. No matter.. we had a sweet time hanging out with everyone. We even got to bring Elsie back to our place for lunch, napping, and walk through Park Slope and finally dinner at Rose Water (a cute restaurant I have been wanting to check out). Its always interesting to me the way New York can kill you or make you feel like you just stepped out of a spa treatment, depending on the way you approach it. It takes a lot of practice (in my book) to come out the other end feeling relaxed. I don't know how they felt when they actually got on the plane on Saturday but I would say the Wilber Family did a pretty good job of keeping it low key and going with the flow. Well done. I hope you guys had as much fun as well did.

See below for my latest Ebay purchase. It is a Jadite Chenille blanket/bedspread from the 50s or whatever. It is perfect and I can't wait to air it out and use it on the bed. I love these spreads in the summer time and frankly I could become addicted to collecting them. I feel that contemporary design could learn a lot (the good designers already do) from the 20-60s era. That's not true.. I don't want them to learn from it.. they knock it off in Targets everywhere.. I just want to recreate those 40 years in my own home. I love everything from the Bakelite to the the wall clocks. Whatever.. I like vintage.. who doesn't ? Right? Rephrase.. who reading this blog doesn't ? Right. That's what I thought. If you guys ever want to get me the perfect birthday present.. just Ebay me some Chenille pillows or a milk glass sugar creamer or a really retro salt and pepper set. Spend $4 and make me the happiest girl in town. Just puttin' it out there.




Anyway all this waiting is making me anxious of course. I just want to nail down our next living spot.. but can't. So I keep talking to people who have homes available (one awesome lady in particular) hoping that when they are ready to have us we will be ready to move in. It's a little nerve wracking. When I get nervous I shop. Bad habit. So Ebay. Better than going downstairs at work to browse JCrew.. at least with Ebay it is cheap and there is a huge chance that I will lose.. sad for me but happy for Stephen who is trying to curtail my nervous habits. Today I took on another one.. a bad one actually. I ate an entire sleeve of Fig Newtons at my desk. The whole thing.. gone. I bought it today to be snack for the rest of the week. Yeah, no. Just today. Yikes.
Salad for dinner.

I also have a summer cold. Lovely. I have never had allergies but whether these are them or in fact the summer cold I have self diagnosed.. its no fun. I had to show my ID and get some Advil Cold and Sinus at Duane Reade today. Welcome to the 21st century. Thanks to the MethHeads of the world we can't even grab a quick decongestant without filling out a form and swearing to our age. "Yes ma'am, I am in fact 28 years old and if you sell me this little red box I promise I will only make enough Meth for my personal use." Bitter ? Me ? I really tried not to be.. but then the woman took forever to fill out the form and the guy behind me kept inching up to see what I was doing until he was literally staring over my shoulder, so close I could feel his breath on my neck. Sick. I should have sneezed on him. I kept giving him dirty looks.. but he didn't seem to care. Too preoccupied by my all too interesting purchase of St. Ives body wash and the controlled substance formerly known as Advil Cold and Sinus.

So all in all.. nothing new. We are still waiting to hear. The one good thing in the waiting so far.. we are getting more and more excited about the move.. loving Brooklyn as much as ever but starting to get antsy to start a family.. the stress of that long discussed topic melting into a sweet anticipation. Much love ya'll.

for the love of gravity..

Ok. So I guess I have some explaining to do. I have been absent for the usual reasons, cloudy minded days, nights, breaths and everything in between. Uncontrollable crying for such husbandly offenses as asking where the duck tape was last seen, posing unanswerable student loan consolidation questions or offers to book me an appointment for a massage. What an evil man I live with. I have been living my life aboard the Cyclone since the day before we flew to Palm Harbor for Papa's Memorial Service. What could have lashed me to this roller coaster of emotions? Grief? Maybe. Fatigue ? More than likely..but there is yet another catalyst. We are leaving Brooklyn.
Yes, I know.. we just got here. Yes, I know... we do love it here. No, I am not really ready to leave. What's that? More grown up decision making among the Shinglers of Greenwood Heights? Indeed.
Short Version:
Literally the night that we are packing to leave the next morning to head to Florida for the service, Stephen gets a call from our pal N. Skiles informing us that he has been offered a better job at Ringling (Stephen's Undergraduate School where Nathan is currently working Stephen's dream job.. we were very happy for him when he got it)... he has called to say that he has recommended Stephen as his successor and Mark (Fine Arts Department Head and Stephen's former sculpture teacher) is enthusiastic and would love it if Stephen could drive over while we are down there (?!?!!!!??!) Say again ? Stephen work for Ringling? In... Sarasota Florida ??? Too good to be true. Maybe not. Stephen goes out for a beer with Mark and boys - "If you want it.. you are the man for the job." Done. Family, ecstatic at our pending return to the area. Me, ecstatic at the chance to start a family with Stephen as the man in charge and bread winning father. Cut to the present: Collegiate bureaucratic red tape. 99.999% sure that Stephen has the job but still having to wait to negotiate a living wage ... waiting and waiting and waiting.
So there you have it.... our latest drama. My latest drama. Stephen floats along rolling with punches while I feel as though the rug I was standing on was yanked out from under me by an angry primate. Suddenly nothing is certain. Will we go? Stay? If go, where will we live ? We need a car now... what should we get? What can we afford? When? How? What kind of job will I have to take this time? How many interviews will I go on.. ? When can we start trying for a baby? Externally I say "One day at a time! There's nothing I can do about it so I just try not to think about it." Internally my mind works itself into a frenzy - I watch back to back movies and the ENTIRE season of Heros in one sitting. Gotta keep that voice in my head quiet long enough to get some sleep.
Try to sleep - no good. My mind stays awake while my body drifts to sleep - I am consciously aware that I can not move... I am in the dark and I can not breath at will .. my ears are ringing.. I think " I am dying and I need to tell Stephen that I am dying " I can't move to wake myself up. I worry that no one will know what happened to me. My house is too dirty to die. I desperately will myself to move and I wake up with a jolt and a cry. This happened 3 more times that night. Good LORD Sarah!!!!! Take it easy why doncha ?!?!? Apparently my subconscious does not know what to do when it doesn't have at least one aspect of the present existence nailed down. It goes haywire.
I am haywire. I can't even tell you what the job entails because I can't get into that much detail because there is still that .0000001% chance that this is all a cruel cosmic joke and we are destined to remain here in our beloved Brooklyn abode for another year as previously planned. That would be ok. I am not even ready to talk about how much I will miss my life here. For that matter, I am not ready to talk about how excited I am at the prospect of a new life in Sarasota. At this moment, all I can do is let you guys know that I am up here at the top of the Cyclone, ready to rush down and back up again at any moment. Clinging to my flimsy seatbelt and trying to keep it together. Waiting for that finalizing phone call to bring me back to earth so that I can begin to celebrate our choice to take the family direction.. and leave our solo New York life behind. Your prayers are desperately desired by this pathetic brunette... who was never meant to be an astronaut.

Bloodsucker

I can't write much this morning but I had an urge just let everyone know that I am still here and have not dropped off the face of the planet..yet. I am TIRED. We have been going and going and doing and such for weeks and its catching up with me. The trip to Bill's service in Florida was inspiring. I have lots to tell and pictures to show from the prior weeks but that will have to wait until Saturday.. TGIF!!!!!! Yaaaaaaaahoooooooooooooo!!!!
For now.. please accept the above offering. The Malarial Mosquito. This is the exhibit at the Natural History Museum that I have to go and stare at each time we are there. It is really old. A model that someone built using wood and various plastics of the day. I think its fascinating and mesmerizing in its detail. Not to mention the "EEEW!!! It's a giant bloodsucking mosquito!!!" factor. Sweet.

In Loving Memory

William Oliver May was taken to be with the Lord yesterday. He was Stephen's Papa, and so much more. He was my grandfather too. I grew up never knowing my biological grandfathers. When I was a little girl I wanted a grandfather so much, that one of the elders in our church kindly offered to be my surrogate grandfather and even said I could call him grandfather. Kind as his offer was, it just wasn't the same. Then, there was Bill.

I first met Bill as Stephen's girlfriend, while visiting him in Sarasota. He gave me a big hug and a kiss. I was instantly attached. Later, as Stephen and I struggled through our first year of marriage, he and Elsie opened their home to us on the weekends and we found ourselves there relaxing around the pool, sleeping in, visiting the Greek district and the Sponge Docks. On each of this visits I was always greeted with the same outpouring of love. "Well Helloooooo!!!" followed by that lovely whiskery kiss and a hug. Sometimes he would say "There she is!!" Bill and Elsie never made me feel like a visitor or an in-law. Secretly, I came to think of Bill as my Papa too, that longing my heart had felt for so many years was fully satisfied in those precious times spent with him. I even loved waking up in the wee hours to the sound of Bill snoring away in his chair downstairs. I loved him so much that I am not sure that I am fully able to describe how much I will miss him.

I am thankful that our Lord is a merciful, faithful, and loving God. I am thankful for Bill's peaceful passing and the knowledge that this sweet man is resting with his Heavenly Father. I am thankful for having known him and eternally thankful for the love he shared with me. I cherish every memory of my secret Papa.

Willing

My boss just got back from a trip to Maine - her first. I spent the day thinking about our two trips to Maine thus far and our upcoming WEEK IN MAINE in June with the Mary and Larry show. Its going to be so refreshing. I just used that word because I started to write "awesome "and, I use that word too often. What I should have said is .. magical.. transcendent ..? I can't find my word. Crisp. Ah, there it is. Maine to me is crisp in the most wonderful of ways. I have loads of pictures that I love from Maine but the one above makes me laugh. It's Stephen scrambling up the rocks after getting totally drenched by a huge wave :)



This is from the trip to Montauk. I am mildly obsessed with this image. I am not sure why. I think its the composition of it. It is perfectly balanced in my eye. That is comforting to me. Plus only I know just how big this naked fish was - huge. The wave is just about to take it away but is still in its ascent onto the sand so its fresh and bubbly. I know that I am a little out there but seriously - its just one of those perfect pictures to me.



This one is from Montauk too and makes me blush a little. I had the biggest crush on him that day. Huge crush. I love those days when you are crushing on your spouse. I think it's important to remember what that feels like, and to embrace it - and HIM - when you feel it.

Last but not least, I read an interesting verse today and it really stayed with me all day today.

Mark 1: 40-41 says "A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, "If you are willing, you can make me clean." Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing" he said. "Be clean."

It was the word "willing" that stood out at me. The man did not say "will you please heal me?". He asked Jesus if He was willing to heal him, and He was, and answered to that effect. I am still processing this. I think that I carry the verse "Ask and you shall receive" around in my head as a back up plan. I know that if I will only ask, He is faithful. That man with leprosy wanted to confirm with Jesus that He was willing to do this healing. In essence, that it was His will to heal the man. The Lord's affirmative answer is really powerful to me. This man was desperate to be healed at any cost of that most terrible disease but he didn't demand or beg he sort of asked Jesus with this incredible amount of faith implicit in his request. He knew he would be healed if Jesus commanded it, but he did not want to presume that it was His will. Thankfully it was. I am no Bible scholar at all but that simple phrase kept flowing through my mind all day "If you are willing.. I am willing." It gave me me all sorts of joy that I don't normally carry around with me. So much so that I was giggling and laughing at anything and everything :) It was kinda fun. Especially good timing too since today we paid our Federal Taxes to the tune of $4300 and on Monday the states will take another $1700 from our miraculous bank account. Not one ounce of panic in this "Type A" heart of mine. Stephen and I are strangely excited to be wiped clean and start fresh. I don't really know why but I am going with it ! Some people cut their hair when they enter a new phase in life.. some people buy new vehicles or clothes or get a tattoo.... In this house we pay our taxes :) I dunno man.. "If you are willing.. I am willing." it feels pretty good.

A happy Easter.. what else could it be really.

Happy Easter everybody! I am enjoying my post Redeemer afternoon napping and listening to lovely musically girlie offerings. Tim Keller was fabulous as ever this morning. Once again he spoke about Peter which Stephen and I really love since we both identify with Peter more than some of the other holy folks. I have never been to an Easter service before and the joy and excitement at this one was palpable. I love Redeemer and each Sunday that I make the trek to Manhattan to sit and absorb Tim's sermon, I feel a little more nourished when I leave. We we started there I was in a state of severe spiritual starvation (self imposed as always). Now I am starting to feel a little tight in my spiritual pants. This is a good feeling. It makes me more sure that I really want to get involved more and become a true member. Join a small group and all of that. I keep saying I want to do these things and more and more the Lord is reminding me that I do in fact have the energy I claim to be without. Not only that but He is really giving me a longing to share and be involved with others. He is doing this by making me feel like I am getting fat off of the sweet, delicious and nutritious Sunday sermons. I don't want to be a glutton! You guys saw Seven, right? Anyway, it was a great Easter and I am glad that I am gaining that weight that I have been in such desperate need of.

As for the rest of our weekend.. it went something like this.

I finally got the desire to head into Chelsea to get my art on. It has been awhile folks. Stephen was ECSTATIC. I was cold and got grumpy on our walk to the Subway. Cold weather does that to me sometimes - Hot weather does it Stephen. Typical. Anyway, I decided to tough it out and just go anyway. When we got out at 23rd street, there was a street fair! YAY! Roasted Corn!! NY Street Fairs are pretty lamo in general. They have a couple of venders selling the same sort of things they sell in Time Square or other touristy spots. But, they also have fair food which is always a greasy delight! My sour mood vanished immediately. "See?" Stephen said, " The Lord knew how much you needed some roasted corn today!". Love that guy.



Stephen tried on a hat that was still attached to its family of other hats. It was still too small. Anyone surprised? Poor little big head kid.



New Yorkers love any excuse to eat and walk around in the middle of the street.



Some guy was selling empanadas with mozzarella cheese inside. SO good. We got some kettle corn too, to eat at the movie we were planning to see later.



Ok. So after the street fair we continued on our way to the galleries. This could be art ya'll. Not sure. Its obviously a smashed up cab. BUT, it is not in a gallery, its on the street..NEXT TOO a gallery (Gagosian) .. and ALSO next to a cab repair shop. Hmmm... You be the judge. I determined that it looked pretty photo worthy and thats about it.



There was a pretty fair amout of good art happening. This is a piece at David Zwirner by Gordon Mata Clark who is not longer with us. This was a recreation of a piece or the type of piece he did back in the 70s (?). Very hippie art. It was a very simple bare bones structure with the construction materials left around and inside there were tables and chairs and... food! Rice cookers full of rice and a spicy coconut milk and tofu soup in huge pots, hot and ready to eat. People were wondering in and out of the structure eating and talking, using their laptops. Just hanging out .. in the art, man.. It was pretty fun/cool/neat. It made me wonder how many artists and art students had come by here for lunch in the weeks since its installation :)



Another nice show at Zwirner by Yutaka Sone. They are glass or resin snowflake things. I think they look like snowflake jelly fish. Really fun.





This is some of James Turel's work. I LOVE his work. Its all about fooling the eye. I have this image sideways but you get the idea anyway. These are panels that are hung about 6 inches behind the wall face and they chance colors so slowly you can hardly tell its happening. It looks like the panels are just floating there.. or at first glance, like they are mounted directly on the wall.. but they are not. It really fools with your mind. I like that. Some of his other work has been a lot more interactive and I like that more I think. Rooms that are lit so slightly that you can barely see to walk and strain your eyes in the darkness to keep from stepping on the other people in the room with you. You had to be there I guess but if you ever get the chance to experience his work in person - jump.



This is for Jeremy J. This is that Frank Gery (sp?) building that was being built while you guys were visiting before. It is kinda insane actually. Inside, there are panels that slowly change colors - neon primary colors. They were closed or I would have taken pictures of that too.. guess you guys will just have to come back and visit.

Last but not least.. we saw Grindhouse guys. Quentin Tarantino is my hero, the master, the end all be all of film makers. There are many of my readers that will probably disagree with me so I must classify my remarks. I love his movies. I always walk out of the theater after seeing his films feeling like I am tough as nails and ready to curse a blue streak and ride a Harley at 120 mph down Flatbush Avenue in spike heels and black leather with no helmet and a healthy dose of revenge to exact. He and I kinda have a thing goin' on. Thankfully, Stephen is right there behind me on my bike. He loves QT's films probably more than I do. SO... I won't bore you any further with my personal taste..but I will say if you liked Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill (1 and 2) .. you will love this one too. I could go on and on but I said I wouldn't and I won't. Go see it. It's stinkin' awesome (vroooom..vrooom). Nitee nite.

Touching

Something amazing happened to me today, on the subway.

I was listening to a song by "The Weepies" from a mix that arrived in the mail from my good friend Jane. It is titled "gotta have you". I sat on the train, deep in thought, listening to this song. I was thinking of how much it reminded me of the way I feel about my attachment to Stephen. This reminded me of true love, real love, selfless love. That made me think of Stephen's grandmother, Elsie. Which inevitably brought to mind his grandfather, Bill, who has always treated me like his own granddaughter and gives me whiskery kisses on my cheek whenever I see him. I thought of Angie and Morrison and Mary and Larry and Mom and Dad and my Gram. The tears in my eyes started to well up and spill over and down my cheeks. I hid my eyes with my hand so that my fellow commuters would not have to witness my emotional moment. I was crying full blast pretty soon. I have no idea why I was crying, really. I was thinking of people whom I love and cherish and who have become such incredible examples to me in my life. They were really tears of joy mixed with the nostalgia of missed loved ones. I sat there, tears flowing and nose running, tried to snuffle in the privacy of my self imposed invisibility.

We arrived in Brooklyn. As we pulled into the station I raised my head to look out the window to make sure we were where I thought we were. Yep, one more stop to go. I put my head back down. A moment later a folded piece of white paper appeared on my lap. I looked up just in time to see the girl, who had been sitting across from me, leaving the train. I opened the little square of paper and read, "It will get better. Keep your chin up!" with a tiny flower drawn in the upper right hand corner. I immediately smiled, and stopped crying. That girl will never know what her small, sweet gesture did for me. It gave me courage. What she did was so brave, so empathetic and touching. Somehow it didn't even matter that I had not been crying out of frustration or grief, I was so touched by her thoughtfulness that all I could think about was my foolish assumptions of invisibility.

I have come to expect so little of others, to return their gazes as though they were not there. New Yorkers have this ability to look through you, not at you. I have acquired this habit as well. Looking into so many hundreds of eyes, for me, is overwhelming. I assume everyone else does the same. Which is why I spend most of my days in incessant anonymity. My mysterious note writer has given me the courage to start looking into a few eyes. To become visible by acknowledging the visibility of those around me. Thank you mystery girl, for seeing me and reaching out. Your gesture has not gone unappreciated.


This is someone else who has always seen me and I have never been able to be invisible around. I love this picture. Mostly because of the way Megan is looking at Michael. Ah, true love. Touching.

Stinky face

I mean seriously guys.. how adorable is this pile of puppy smush??? Thus the reason I am not showered yet.. really don't want to have to put him down. Oliver - Professional Cuddler and Mommy Procrastinator.

Zelda Face

Grrr.. Photobucket didn't resize this. Slowly losing my mind with this stuff.
Decided to take the whole day off today instead of just half a day. My boss said it was totally up to me and I could decide whenever.. so I decided this morning when I woke up and Oli was curled up on my leg all warm and sleepy. Staying in is always nice.
Stephen gets kinda frustrated with Zelda sometimes.. this is his Zelda face.

Is it possible to be head over heels for a dog? If so, I think I am. I love my dog SO much it's almost unhealthy. I even love his dog breath. His dog smell and sleepy sighs. Most of all I love the weight of his little dog body in my lap, all warm and snuggly. There is nothing finer. Yes, all you parents out there will say that feeling will be magnified a zillion times when I have a baby of my own. Looking forward to that. But for now, I love my dogs stinky little face more than just about anything I can think of. Well other that my husbands stinky face of course.

I did some editing on the ol' blog today. Notice anything different? This whole photo issue really has me steamed up ya'll. It used to be so easy for me to make it work and now its just not working!!!! I am a photo poster.. so that is the reason this is so infinitely frustrating.. sad Sarah can't seem to get over it.

Nothing very exciting this morning other than Oli's sweet sleepy stink. MMMM.. late morning Cheerios. Better finish getting all ready for the airport. See ya'll next week.

Brooklyn Sunrise

This was taken out our kitchen window this weekend.. really early.. just after the sun came up. If you look really carefully on the left side just over the rooftops you can see the financial district in Manhattan. Where the twin towers would have been if they were still standing. Really glad we were not here for that. At night you can see it all better and its a little more mesmerizing in the dark. You can see the Chrysler building pretty well. I am still having photo issues Jeremy J. Help..? Can't rotate image. That is the problem. Its rotated properly on the camera but.. when I upload it rotated or not, if it was taken in portrait it uploads sideways. No two ways about it. Oh well.. one day I will figure it out.
I don't have a lot to say. Work has once again drained me. Sometimes I hate my job. I think I have never had a job I didn't hate. So that could just be because I don't like working. I do work with some pretty fun people here though so.. thats a bonus.
Yeah so.. I really have nothing to say.. my brain is coming up with a big blank.. so .. the most interesting thing in this post is the view from my kitchen window. Tomorrow is Friday and I am going to visit my friend Ellen in DC to see her new baby, Seth. Really looking forward to that. Gonna go make some late night guacamole and hang out with Stephen and Oli now. Sorry guys.. this was kind of a waste of a read.

Insomnia

Hello and welcome to up all night.. well not really since its not even midnight at the moment but I feel like I could be up all night without trying hard. This day has been a mental roller coaster, which is a very white bread way of saying totally stinking weird.
I still have not posted pix from my trip home .. oh .. two weeks ago now.. but frankly the whole photo posting debacle made me a little bitter and I am working out my anger issues with Photobucket.. where do they come up with these names anyway? Its almost embarrassing. Its like when you see a hipster on the train wearing skull and cross bones leggings.. one part of you (me) is like.. "cool?" and the other is like.."dude.. even I know that is crossing a line..not to mention it went out of style about a year ago.. I think." Why can't they just name photo websites something simple like.. Post Your Photos Here or.. Blogger Photo Loading Site since blogger obviously has something worked out with Flickr.. SO unfair.. moving on..
my day was odd.. I did it to myself as is usually the case when I have an odd day. I was being all productive at work.. getting one of my bosses squared away to go to her conference in Atlanta.. rushing hither and thither with exciting items like milk invoices and FMLA leave papers.. FedEx called.. it was a typical thrilling day. So as is typical.. I got seriously bored and started staring off into space, only coming too when I glimpsed someone coming up or down the hall. So, I took a short lunch break and decided to treat myself to some friend Googles. Now I do this more than I should, admittedly. It can become an addiction so I limit myself to 5 friend Googles at one sitting. Today the name I chose yielded results on the first try-score! He had a MySpace page. I don't dig MySpace because I really like Blogger and for other reasons I will keep to myself so I don't sound hypocritical. ANYWAY..this friend is someone I have known for a long time from HP and it occurred to me that they might know or still keep in touch with other old Central people or something.. I found one friend in their friends.. then another from that site and another and another and so on.. MySpace explosion. I found so many people that I had been hoping I would never see again .. it was overwhelming. I was instantly back in High School .. right after John got sent to boarding school and hearing those kids telling me they all knew/thought it was me and I was the nark that got him sent away from home, as if him accusing me of that was not bad enough. My "friends" were of course no friends at all but just people who knew who I was. After a few minutes of looking at their faces, I walked down the hall to get some water and felt completely deflated. All the confidence I had built over the years since those HS days.. was gone in an instant. Crazy right? Memories are powerful. Repressed memories are deadly. I tried to remember who I was at the moment and that all of that stuff was ancient history. I thought about it all the way back home on the train. I felt like a poser. Like, the life I am living now was not true and that the girl who had sat in Ms. Farlow's orchestra classroom was the real me - the inescapable me. I wrestle with those types of feelings a lot but not like this. I had no idea something like seeing a person's face on their web page would bring all of that crap back.
When I got home I tried to explain to Stephen how insane it was seeing those people and how I started to feel and .. he just looked at me with a question mark over his head. That made me feel like I had to deal with the old me alone and frankly I was ready for her to quiet back down and disappear again.
We watched LOST.. SO good tonight right??!
Then, because I just couldn't resist the urge, I went right back to the page that started all the madness this afternoon. But this time I found another familiar face that was a friendly one - a Vineyard Alum that I have not seen in years. Sam Fagg.. which lead to Callie.. then Bradford and Rich .. Rebeca Andrews...people I was so happy to see it sort of made me wish I had a MySpace myself -SORT OF. I also found a high school friend that I actually missed, someone whose relationship meant a lot to me back in the day and it was nice to see he was doing well.
What is my point.. I'm not sure. Lurking can be hazardous to your health? Everyone I know or have known is on MySpace? Sure seems that way. I dunno if I even have a point but I know I am glad that those feelings came up like that. It gave me the opportunity to deal with them, put them in their place, and get back to normalcy. Growth is good even if it means you have to air your dirty laundry on your Blog to get the full benefit of said growth.
I promise to try really hard to get over my photo hang ups so that I can post the picture of me holding baby Maddie..a very proud moment.. but one captured in "portrait" instead of "landscape" so its gonna be a few more days people! Nitee nite.

GRRRRR

I woke up this morning so excited to do some blogging over my Cheerios... instead I have spent the last hour trying to figure out how to get my photos to stop loading sideways!!!!! ...I tried sending them from Flickr but you can't send more than one at a time as far as I can tell.. then I tried sending them from Photobucket and that seems to work but at this point I am so tired of messing with it that I am quitting for now... roar. If anyone has any suggestions how how to do it more easily please .... speak up! I miss the old blogger where if you had it turned the right way on your camera LCD then it would load correctly to Blogger.. what am I doing wrong?!!!??!

and in other news...

...right so ..it's been a month again since you have heard from me.. bad blogger! Bad Blogger!
Please direct your attention to the image above. This is what my fridge looks like these days. Now how does one make it onto the fridge, you ask? Simple my dear! Just send me something in the mail.. or better yet... pop into my head for no reason and I will dig out and old photo of you and plaster you to my kitchen appliance with a varying assortment of magnets. There is even a hymn there from Redeemer that was particularly meaningful one Sunday. My fridge is actually a very precious collection of dear moments. Like the letter that Stephen's grandmother Angie wrote to us. One of the sweetest most meaningful letters I have received in recent history. I must have read it 5 times at least. She also included a check for us to take ourselves out sometime. Well we did just that! We took ourselves to a fab dinner in a fab Park Slope establishment (since I have presently come to DESPISE Manhattan) .. now for the downer. I haven't written her a thank you note. The thing that makes this so sad is that I have sat down about 19 times to do so but have failed each time to produce anything more than a greeting. I have no idea what my problem is but I sure hope she is reading because Angie, you sweet sweet Grandmother you.. you made our week and that letter and check meant so much to us. THANK YOU ANGIE!!!!!!
I got Stephen tickets to a taping of Conan O'Brien for Valentines Day .. the taping was on the 21st.. Jim Carey was the guest (YEAH SERIOUSLY).. so we get there and Stephen just has no shame folks. Which is a good thing most of the time. It was a really good thing this particular afternoon since we were sitting in the second row of the NBC studio where Conan tapes his show. He, Conan, came out to get the audience going before the show and there was Stephen right there screamin' his head off and acting nuts. Conan zeroed in on him in an instant. He made Stephen stand up and dance with him.. then made fun of the way he was dancing.. then he decided Stephen was worth a hug and enjoyed it so much he made Stephen hug some other random guy in the audience.. then sent him across the stage to hug Max.. who then gave Stephen his drum sticks and sent him back to his seat. For about 5 minutes it was all about Stephen and Conan. Since Conan is our favorite late night host.... words can not express how amazing it was to watch him get more out of my Valentines Day present than I could have ever planned.. and then to have Jim Carey as the guest?!?!?!? It was stinkin' awesome! So it was after all of that excitement that I chose to use Angie's gift to take him out to that fab place in the Slope. Thank you again Angie.. I couldn't have done it without ya!!

So besides hangin' with the big dogs in 30 Rock my world has been pretty calm ... or something. I bounce back and forth between my peaks and valleys, but continue to keep from coming to rest in a valley so I am thankful for that. This past weekend we spent most of our time with various groups of friends. It was completely accidental but it turned out to be very relaxing to bounce from group to group and chat it up with everybody. I have come to grips with my own reality I think and that is a hard thing to get a handle on. Well, I should say I am coming to grips with it. I have been tracking my health very closely the last few months and my patterns are just that - patterns. That means that I can learn from them and take comfort in expecting their arrival instead of being caught off guard.
I am still homesick....but I am coping with that. I have allowed myself to disappear into the depths of my own nostalgia enough times now to heal the loneliness that stings. I think nostalgia keeps you grounded really. It keeps me grounded for sure. Its too easy to lose myself up here, so a periodic dose of memories keeps me from forgetting what really matters to me.

I thought I was pregnant this month.. yes I said it.. there was a tiny glimmer of a possible tiny one. Over the course of 5 years of marriage that can happen you know? We have had many "scares". This one was different though. I wanted it to be positive. I was devastated when it turned out to be false alarm. More specifically I was in denial.. I took 5 tests in all.. kept thinking it was too early or something. I am so tuned into my body these days I was just SURE this was it. It wasn't. This is the first time that I have been truly sad about a negative test. You know what that means !?!??! Could it be that the Shinglers are ready to start family? I'm not telling! You will just have to wait and see. Perhaps the tides have turned. I am still terribly happy with Stephen and my puppy. Adding another member to our budding family could only make me happier.

We are headed home on Friday to North Cacalaka .. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THERE!!!!! Loads to do before we leave.. taxes. .. wash the Oli... pack.. clean.. you know the drill. It feels good to be going home! I can't wait to see everybody. I can't wait to eat Mom's shrimp and grits! AND this trip could be extra special because the newest baby Bollman is pending arrival! Michelle is set to be induced (I think) on Friday if their new little girl has not made her appearance before then. Stephen and I are extra excited about that :) Well I have to go and scrub mildew off of my shower. .. yes mildew grows in Brooklyn too. Bad joke. I have "missed the hell out of you my darlings" ..my lurkers. Stay tuned. I hope to be more verbal in March.