Sunshine

It has been awhile.. so instead of trying to catch everyone one up on everything let me just say that we are enjoying some very... VERY.. fine weather here in Raleigh and here are a few pictures from the last few weeks. The little girls are.... sitting up on their own, eating Gerber Puffs (for the first time today!!).. playing and being as adorable as always.. hope you all enjoy this update in pictures..



Margot... so warm yesterday that we could put on real summery clothes.



















Ada the future photographer..







Thoughtful Ada.







Playing in the sunshine.











Margot and Daddy



Margot looking like a doll..







Reading Aunt Judy's book



At the park



We love to swing







Margot in the kitchen



Ada loves peas



So does Margot

No greater gift..

Her hands grasp your cheeks as she peers at you with a questioning look, then a smile. She settles her head on your left shoulder, then your right, then peers again into your eyes and makes that soft noise that you know to be her greeting. You smile back and nod your head, guiding her back to you shoulder. She nuzzles into your neck. You can hear the little squeak of her pacifier as she struggles against the sleep that is soon to overtake her. Her breath is warm against your neck. The creaking of the rocking chair drowned out by the sound of the rain. Her breathing becomes more rhythmic, deeper. You know it is time. You watch the minutes tick by. The mountain of tasks awaiting you outside her door tumble over one another in your mind. One more minute, maybe two.. three. You make excuses to yourself, justifications for your delay. Close your eyes and savor the moments as they pass. Hold tight to the feel of her, the smell of her hair and the peaches on her breath. This is life, the reason for the struggles, the blessing you are not worthy of. There is no greater gift than holding a sleeping child.

Musings

Life is getting better around the Shingler home. I sound like a broken record but we really are THIS CLOSE to having the house all settled. Why is it the last few bits of stuff are always the most difficult to get squared away? I am feeling much better than I was but am now wary of allowing myself to get as run down as I was over the holidays. That means insisting on taking a nap every day.. which cuts down on productivity ... particularly on the days when the girls decide to nap well for only one of their naps. Still we march on and I feel like I have made progress..slow progress.. but progress all the same.

I started to get self conscious about the fact that all I write about is the babies. So I decided I wouldn't post anything until I had something else to take about.. turns out.. that's all that is in my head right now. That being said I guess I will just talk about babies some more. I hate to think I am boring readers out there but.. they can always just surf on by so...why do I worry about such stupid stuff!? Shut up and just write already! Ok.

The girls are now eating 3 solid meals a day plus nursing 4 times a day.. that means that the majority of my day is spent preparing to feed or feeding in one fashion or another. Mom presented us with the most fabulous baby food maker - the Beaba Baby Cook. It steams cooks their food fresh in 15 minutes, and then you blend it right there in the same container. It is my best friend. If wasn't already married... anyway.. it's really great. Our girls are big eaters. They split a whole bowl of plain yogurt and oatmeal for breakfast and then for lunch and dinner two more bowls (respectively) of either applesauce, green beans, sweet potato or avocado and banana. We add a new food every 4 days and so far we have had no complaints. They have a hard time towards the end of a feeding being patient enough to wait for their spoonful but.. they are learning.

They are trying so hard to crawl. Ada can get up on all fours but doesn't know where to go from there. She gets up and then flattens out and does it again. Margot sticks her bottom in the air, face-plants, then lifts herself up high on her arms.. looks a little bit like a seesaw. They get bored more easily so I was super excited when Ellen brought that door jumper and exersaucer over. They are so thrilled to be upright and view the world from another angle.

I have lately been feeling a little guilty for not holding them more. That is one of the challenges of having multiples. You can't hold them both at the same time.. well .. you can.. but it's not very cuddly when they are little like this. It's more for transportation purposes. I wanted them to be ok with amusing themselves early on.. didn't want them to get the idea that if they cried they would automatically get picked up since that is not really an option most of the time. So now I have babies who will play together on their own very contentedly.. which is great... but I find myself missing the snuggling I imagine one must get with a singleton. I try to make up for it at some point during the day. If someone wakes up early from her nap, I get her up and feed her alone or just spend time cuddling with her until her sister wakes up and then I swap and feed and cuddle the later sleeper. In a small way ( and I do mean VERY small because it was super hard back then) I miss the early days when they were so teeny that they fell asleep right after they nursed and we would all snuggle/nap on the bed together. I wish they would nap with me now but I am glad they know how to nap on their own. Maybe we can share a nap together now and then when they are toddlers ? So strange how the older they get and the more their personalities develop the stronger my desire is to keep them as close to me as possible.. thus the snuggling issue. I have to be ok with the fact that I can't hold them all the time.. it has achieved the outcome that I wanted and for that I am thankful. It's funny, I am so used to having them comfort themselves that occasionally when someone is crying it will randomly occur to me that I COULD in fact pick her up. This week I did that several times and each time that baby looked like she had just won the lottery. Then the exact thing I knew would happen.. happened.. the other baby saw her sister being held and cried..demanding to be held as well.. so.. I had to either put the first baby back down.. or try to calm the tearful sibling while feeling extremely unfair. Sigh. Multiples. This is why I stick to the "quiet baby" rule. As much as is humanly possible, always try to tend to the quiet baby first..thus they begin to learn that being patient has it's rewards. Or at least that's the basic idea..

Now that I have rambled on about basically nothing.. I am feeling self conscious again .. oh well.. I have a bedroom to organize. G'night folks.

A little Saturday treat..

Ellen brought this over for the girls on Friday and ever since it has been hard not to just sit and watch them in it! It probably looks gross that Ada is bouncing in the bathroom doorway but it's the only doorway downstairs so.... I promise she can't reach the toilet.. does that help?

Hopeful

Here are two little girls watching the beginning of a new age for America. They will grow up in a time when having an African American president feels normal instead of revolutionary. We watched with tears in our eyes this morning as a brave, courageous, and wise man stood with his family and took the oath of office. Our prayers are with you Mr. President. 

Oliver watching the snow fall...yeah.. it's a snow day here!!! Daddy's home from work :)

The view from our bedroom window.. no we do not live on the set of the Truman Show..

View from the girls' bedroom window.. such a welcome sight.

We are enjoying our day here watching Season Four of LOST in preparation for the season premier this week with our buddy James whose wife is out of town with their daughter. He walked through the snow to get to our place to hang out. Snow days are so awesome. Gotta love the south and the way things simply shut down when it snows. 

I have so much to do and yet I sit here tapping away on this computer. Still have some more settling in to do but we are mostly done with that.. a lot of what I have to do is just on a list in my head .. a list that seems to get longer as the days go by.. here are just a few of my items:

- Call Mary and Larry and attempt to describe how much we enjoyed their visit this weekend and thank them for making the trip up from Florida to share their three day weekend with us... and thank them once again for the amazing D40 that took the above photos... I am in heaven :)

- Call/write Mindy and Jeff and attempt to describe how thankful I am for the gift they sent the girls so many months ago. Every day, twice a day, when put the little girls down for their naps I tuck those cozy blankies around them and think of you guys as they snuggle their little noses into the silky edges..

- Attempt to express my gratitude to my parents for the washer and dryer.. the bike... the hours spent helping us and loving on the girls.. the multiple trips to Raleigh.. etc etc etc

- Call everyone who has been praying for me and say thank you..

- Have everyone who helped us move over for dinner in an attempt to thank them for their incredible generosity in our time of need.. yet again..

- Thank those folks who have fed us recently.. Ellen.. Julie.. Krissie.. Several of Stephen's students mom's... 

... my head is bursting with people to thank.. that is not a burden that I mind bearing.. how blessed we have been.. how blessed we are..

I am feeling better each day.. it's slow going but we are getting there. 

I will post pictures from Christmas and all that soon.. 

Update

Ok another boring post but one just to update everyone. I went to the doctor yesterday and they say it looks better (it does) and they are ruling out surgery for the moment. I am still on all the antibiotics and in a lot of pain.. and super ridiculously tired.. but psyched that I don't have to go see a surgeon! Thanks for all your prayers. When I say I am tired.. I mean that I can hardly keep my eyes open all day long and sleep like the dead (during the hours the girls let me sleep) at night.. so that means it might be a little while until there is anything interesting or colorful on this blog... hoping to get my energy back any day now.. so.. anyway.. see ya when I see ya and thanks again for your prayers.. 

Back Online

This is a short blurb to say that we had a great holiday (more to come on that later) and that we are now moved into our new apartment (more on that later) and that we just got our internet back up and running. Right now, I have a prayer request for all those prayers out there. I came down with mastitis the day before we left for Florida (before Christmas) and it seemed to clear up while we were there. When we got back to NC... it came back .. but worse.. running a temp of 101 in a matter of 15 minutes. This time it was accompanied by a case of thrush in both girls due to the antibiotics I had been on. I went to the doctor and got back on antibiotics - a different kind this time. Seemed to get better for about a day.. then .. worse still. Today I went back to the doctor in the hopes that they could help me figure out how to get rid of this mess..... the news was not what I had hoped for. They have two theories this time; either the bacteria I am afflicted with is abnormal and was not reacting favorably to the new antibiotic....OR.. I have an abscess and will have to see a surgeon right away. SO, I am taking one antibiotic 4 times a day on an empty stomach.. and another 4 times a day with a meal..loading up on probiotics so that my "gut" doesn't lost all it's good bacteria .. and I have to see the doctors again in 48 hours and if there is not significant improvement.. I will be headed off to see a surgeon that same day. At the same time I am treating the girls for their thrush at least 4 times a day. It has cleared up but we don't want it to come back. Not to mention running a fever constantly and breaking that fever constantly, plus I still have to feed my little girls and do all the regular stuff .. and my house is not quiet put together yet though it is SO close. All this to say, if you are a prayer....please add me to the list! I am in tremendous amounts of pain and that pain only gets worse when the girls have to feed. I am praying that this horrific amount of meds will start to make a difference. I really want to be able to nurse my girls but if this is nature's way of letting me know it's time to stop I am ready to do that..but I can't stop until I am better..... I am stuck in a vicious cycle of sorts. Anyway... I have lots and lots to write about and so many lovely pictures to show.. but for now... I am just trying to make it to tomorrow and praying that surgery will not be on the table on Thursday. Despite it all we are in good spirits around here... chocolate chip cookies ...nuff said right? :)

Happy Christmas

To all of those who read this blog and have not gotten a Christmas card from our family, we had the best of intentions but alas this will have to do for this year. Since just about everyone who reads this blog is on our card list, we figured this would be the most efficient way to say Happy Christmas and send our love to all our loved ones out there! We love you all and wish we could hug each and every one of you during this holiday season. For now please accept this humble offering of.. a digital photograph on your computer screen and know that it was uploaded with much love :) We love you guys and just so you  know.. Oliver is in the picture too.. just sitting like the patient big brother he is by Stephen's feet so we couldn't quite get him in the shot but he sends loads of puppy kisses as well. 

PS. Today marks the one year anniversary of a very positive pregnancy test.. where did the time go? 

Seven

Today marks the seventh anniversary of my marriage to the man in the above picture, greeting one of his daughters. This year has certainly seen the most changes. In fact, last year on this date, we had dinner with our wonderful friends and neighbors, Matt and Lonna and I was a little down and depressed because the other couples there had kids and I felt like my life lacked direction. Little did I know that itty bitty Ada and teeny tiny Margot were already with us. It seems like a thousand years and a million miles away from where I sit now. Where I sit now is a messy orange couch in a messy living room with a view to the kitchen where there is a basket of baby laundry to be done and not a single clear inch of counter space. The bed is unmade, the blinds are closed and no (shock) I have not had a shower and I smell like spit up. This is where/how Stephen found me two hours ago when he came through the front door and surprised me with a beautiful card, a box of Clementines (my favorite!) and a new pair of Smartwool knee socks (7 is apparently wool). Though he did chuckle at the fact that I smelled of sour milk, he didn't sigh or moan or say a word about the rest of the disaster that I have learned to exist in recently. He snuggled and kissed two happy little girls who lit up at the sight of him. He hugged me close and wished me a happy anniversary and told me how much he loved me. This is the man that I chose. The man that I married and he never ceases to remind me of why I made that decision. Some days he comes home to a freshly scrubbed me in a house that is organized, smells of dinner, and is humming with positive productivity and happy, well rested babies. Other days he comes home to this.. the afore described mess. I can predict what he will do when he comes home today. He will come in the door, go wash his hands and come straight in to be with the girls. Then he will change clothes, take the dog out, and go see if there are any dishes to be washed.  If so he will wash these and watch the girls while I take a shower and later he will figure out what to do for dinner (if I have not already done so) while I feed the girls and put them down. He will have it ready by the time I finish with the girls and we will sit and eat together. And I will be so grateful. So grateful for a helping hand, for a hot meal, for a comfortable silence. So grateful for a man who is so patient with me, who understands me, who looks past my ineptitude and shortfalls. A man who works hard all day to support us, then comes home, rolls up his sleeves and starts his next set of tasks with a calm face and a sweet demeanor. He changes diapers and washes babies and helps to soothe me and the girls when our evening nursing goes amiss. He is our hero, our champion, our rock and we love him more each day. May the next seven years be as phenomenal as the last seven have been.  

Solid

Last night, dressed in our favorite bibs from MKD and L, we started a new chapter in our journey to be big girls. 

Since we have been practicing taking our vitamins from a spoon for awhile now, we swallowed the cereal right down and though this was a new texture for us, most of the new food stayed in our mouths. 

I think Ada enjoyed the experience a little more than Margot. 

Though she ate pretty well for a first try, Margot just didn't seem to be as into the whole idea. 

Fun fact about their personalities. Both can roll over now and Ada can roll from front to back and back to front. Yet during tummy time, Ada, in moments of frustration will cry and remain on her tummy flapping her limbs and protesting. Margot, on the other hand, when frustrated with tummy time...will roll over and hang out on her back :) She has figured out how to put her new skill to a practical use. I think it's just so funny how differently they think. 

Welcome to the Club House Margot!!

MARGOT ROLLED OVER YESTERDAY!!!! It happened pretty much the same way that it happened a week ago with Ada. Stephen and I took the girls to a JV Basketball game last night and then to Target. When we got home and were getting ready for bedtime, I wanted to show him that she had been pushing up on her arms during the day's tummy time so he put her on her tummy in her crib while I was changing Ada and she pushed up and rolled right over! 

Here are the sisters enjoying some tummy time together this morning. 

Look at that happy Margot :) I knew she would do it this way.. just make up her mind on day to do it and just do it! We are so excited at how fast the girls are growing up :) How do you like those 80's colors? Looks like they should be on Punky Brewster.

 

Ada watching me calm a sleepy (fussy) Margot.

Update on the evening feeding stuff... We gave them the formula that next night and they sucked it down and went off to sleep like a charm. The next night we gave them the pumped milk from the night before and they screamed bloody murder and would have nothing to do with it. Sigh. So Stephen comforted one and I fed the other and then we swapped. We ended up doing that for a couple of nights and then I attempted to feed them both at the same time again and for the last few nights it has worked just fine. So we are back to our old routine and have put the bottles in the cabinet again. I know they can take one, I know that they can and would eat formula if the mood struck them so those are good things. I sort of wish that I could leave them with a baby sitter and a bottle and maybe I will try that someday but for now all that I am concerned with is that they are eating and that is happening so.. we march on right?

Planning to start feeding them cereal tonight... wish us luck!

The apartment should be ready for us to move right about the time we head to Florida. Oh well. We are working on strategies for the most efficient way to accomplish the move when we return from our trip. One way or another we will be moved out of here and into our new place in the next 30 days for sure so there is hope for a future with few space frustrations and less tripping over baby seats, activity mats, bumbos.... the list goes on. 

I am feeling a bit like a zombie with lack of sleep and at the same time as though I am coming out of a fog of sorts. Out of one and into anther I guess. I feel more capable with the girls and so that lets me put my mind to work on other things but I have been too tired to land on anything specific yet so... maybe I will find a good book to start over the holidays... or something. Sleep deprivation wears on you no matter now good you are at handling it. Even when Stephen and I do get time together alone in the evenings we don't have a whole lot to day to one another.. gotta find a way to get those neurons to start firing again. 

Anyway.. happy Saturday everyone :)

Gotcha!!

We finally caught her in the act ! What a pro ;)

This just in...

ADA ROLLED OVER TODAY!!!!!!! When Stephen came home from work today I plopped Ada and Margot back down on their tummies to show Stephen Ada's new trick and within a split second she just rolled over!! Then we put her back on her tummy and she did it again!!! Then we got the video camera to try and capture the moment but she decided she had rolled over enough for the day :) How exciting!!!! We were over the moon and I was particularly excited because she did it when both of us where there!!! It's about time Ada was first at something :) Margot was the first to smile, the first to giggle and the first to roll on her side. Can't wait for Margot to catch up to Ada on this one though :) 

In other news, I got desperate tonight with Margot's evening feeding woes. I fed her alone like I did last night but after about 15 minutes she started fussing and getting angry that the milk wasn't coming fast enough.. so ... (gulp) I had Stephen give her a bottle of formula while I fed Ada and VOILA!!!! She sucked it right down and went off to sleep without a peep!! Now to develop a strategy for the nights from here on out. I think that I might give them both a bottle of formula tomorrow night - then pump after they go to bed (a la Erin's method) then give them that milk the next night and just decide to try giving them bottles at night. Ada has no problems with taking her time at the evening feeding so if she doesn't care for the bottle idea then I will just keep nursing her and pumping for Margot... I know I could just give them formula at night (and I might do that) but I would really like to try to keep it consistently breast milk. Anyway.. I have my strategy for tomorrow and it is such an answer to prayer!!!! Stephen and I feel SO relieved!!!! Now to celebrate with burgers and chocolate shakes :) 

Happy Birthday Nana!!!!

Happy Birthday to you Nana!!! We are extra happy today because today is your birthday!!! We decided to wear two of our favorite outfits that you got us last weekend. We were so excited for Mommy to take our picture that we giggled and smiled super big. This is the first time Mommy has been able to catch both of us smiling at the same time :) 

Hi Nana it's me, Ada. In honor of your birthday I am demonstrating my feats of strength during my morning tummy time. Look how high I can hold my head! Aren't you proud of me Nana? I am trying SO hard to turn over... any day now I think :)

Look at me Nana!! Hi Nana!!! Can you see me? I can see you!

Hi Nana! It's me Margot. In honor of your birthday I am demonstrating my feats of patience during tummy time. See how patient and quiet I can be? I thinking super hard about how to do what Ada is doing, I did it first by the way... just  didn't feel like doing it while Mommy had the camera. I am sorta ready for my nap. 

Hi Nana, it's me Mommy! I was not ready for my close up this morning so you will just have to imagine my smiling face. I wish I was there to wish you a happy birthday in person and whisk you away from work and straight to a spa for the day of beauty you deserve. Alas, this delight will have to wait until another day. Thank you for being my Mom all these years. As a tribute to you here are a few of my favorite memories: 

- waking up from my nap in the house at 311 to the hum of your sewing machine. You were listening to the radio (Chuck Smendal - I don't know if that was the guys name but that's how I remember it). You greeted me with a hug and helped me get settled on the blue green shag carpeting in your room with my own sewing card and big plastic needle and yarn. I always felt so special getting to share those post nap moments with you. 

- baking in the kitchen with you in the "new" house. You always gave me my own little bit of dough when you were making biscuits or a pie. You showed me how to use my tiny rolling pin to roll the dough so that it would fit my little pie pan. I always kneaded the dough too long and it always baked up to be as hard as a cracker but I couldn't wait to present it to Dad when he came home from work. Dad was always very pleased with my surprise and would dutifully crunch away at his "treat" while I looked on, beaming with pride. 

- trips to the library. I can still remember the smell of that old building. I couldn't wait to get to the children's section to see the pet gerbils that lived there. Remember the time we got to buy a gerbil for the library? I was sad that it couldn't come home with us but happy that we got to visit it so often. I loved that we got to spend as much time as we wanted choosing books and wandering through the rows of bookshelves. Remember the time I got to put my rabbit collection in the display case? And when I won the poster contest? And the reading summer reading contest? I guess I was a pretty nerdy kid huh? :)

- this past August.. on that Wednesday afternoon when you came to Rex Hospital. Do you remember my face when you walked in the door ? I remember yours. I sat there holding Margot and when I introduced her to you for the first time, I remember the pure love on your face as the joyful tears spilled down your cheeks. Love for your new granddaughter and love and relief at seeing your own daughter had made it safely through the surgery. I remember that first week at home and how hard you struggled to let me take the lead and follow my instructions on the care of my new babies. How eager you were to help and give advice. How stubbornly I clung to my own ideas only to abandon some of them days later and gratefully adopt what you had previously suggested. Most of all I remember seeing you walk down the sidewalk to your car after the week was through. How my heart felt broken and I couldn't understand why. How surprised I was at the bond that was created in those few days and the pain I felt at your leaving. How much I missed you in the weeks that followed and how grateful I was when you were able to visit again. How my heart soared (and still does) watching you care for and love on Ada and Margot. 

Thank you, Mom, for loving me the way that I am with all my faults and stubborn tendencies. I love you so much and am so glad that we are close enough to share our lives with you and Dad these days. I hope your birthday is the best yet. 

Little Monsters

Our good friend Malani gave the girls each their own "Little Monster" before they were born. The girls have started napping with the soft little friends. Here is Margot clutching SunDrop's ear/antenna. 

Ada snoozing with Nehi.. yeah.. I named their little friends after vaguely southern soft drinks. 

Things have been a little crazy since we came home from Thanksgiving. Napping is getting better but our evenings have taken a turn for the bizarre. Margot has taken to screaming at the top of her lungs 5 minutes into the pre-bedtime feeding. She sets off Ada and then neither baby will eat. This has been going on since Monday with varying degrees of intensity. It reached it's peak last night when both babies were going full blast after just starting to eat. I ended up trying to feed separately but it took awhile to talk them into eating. Tonight I fed Margot first, then when she started fussing and screaming I put her in bed and went to feed Ada. Margot never settled and after I put Ada down I got Margot back up and fed her again. I am this close to trying formula. Tonight I even put the powder in the bottles and boiled a kettle of water. It seems to be Margot's issue though since with nursing Ada alone I found that she behaved as she normally would. I would say Margot has become sensitive to noise or something but even in a super silent room she fusses and pulls away without getting much to eat. My poor little girl :( Really don't know what to do. My pediatrician said that I would "know" when they were ready to start eating solid food.. is this what they meant? I am trying to wait until they are closer to 6 months. I have stated practicing with a spoon to get them ready for the big day.. they get 1/2 of their vitamins in a spoon and the rest in their dropper. Anyway.. if anyone out there has had the same nighttime fussiness issues and has any suggestions I would love to hear them. 

In other news, we don't have room or the time to put out anything Christmas this year :( SO sad! We love Christmas in this house so it's sad to have such a plain living room this year but it would surely push us over the edge to attempt to set anything up in here. Oh well.. there is always next year. Can't wait to get to that new apartment!!!!! 

Man I love Thursday nights.. Kath and Kim, The Office and 30 Rock all in a row - oh my!  I am currently washing a mountain of baby clothes and watching Stephen work on some tiny paintings he is giving as presents to his students. And on that note of everyday life.. goodnight! 

Home Again

We are home again and trying to put everything back in some semblance of order. Trying being the operative word there :) The picture above is of Margot and her new fascination with her own hands. I call this look her "patient hands" because it seems to be most prevalent when she is waiting to be picked up, getting her diaper changed, ready to move on to a new activity.. in other words ..being patient. 

Here the girls are playing with Daddy.. Ada is grabbing Margot's ear. Margot doesn't seem to mind too much. 

I got almost no pictures at Thanksgiving. I was so busy with various things that the day just got away from me so.. oh well... there is always next year. Here are Gram and Margot enjoying some snuggles. 

Aunt B and Ada were enjoying some snuggly time as well while we waiting for the magical meal to make it's way to the table. 

Margot and Mom playing through some fussy time. 

We arrived at Mom and Dad's late on Tuesday night, and left on Saturday afternoon. We figured it would be easier for the girls to go down in a new place if they were already drowsy from riding in the car after their last feeding etc. Ada went down like a dream and Margot took about an hour or so to finally settle in.. I think I ended up just feeding her again or something.. I can't remember. We had a great time visiting.. or what passes for visiting when you  are juggling twins. The girls napped and slept better in their new cribs than I thought they would so that was great. Still, they did not sleep as well as they do here at home. So every nap time was just as intense as their wakeful times. Stephen and I hovered around the door to the upstairs listening for cries. It seemed that every naptime one baby would nap well and the other had trouble.. it varied as to which one got more sleep. The nights were pretty rough. I feel like I got about 3 hours of sleep a night - if that. They would go down ok..then wake up earlier than they usually did plus Mommy, Daddy, one baby and Oliver in a double bed makes for a tight fit. Still we survived and arrived home on Saturday to crash. Still recovering though I feel much better today. It's just hard. If they got any rest I was grateful and I felt hopeful for our coming trip to Florida. I am continuing to have them nap in their cribs and with no props, though I may invest in a white noise machine for traveling naps because it just might be helpful for them. We shall see. Anyway.. all in all it went better than I had expected so I  feel blessed. I have to admit though, I haven't been that tired since they were born. First times are usually tough right?

Enough about babies. I feel like all I talk about lately is baby naps and baby poop and baby everything. I do still exist outside these little ladies. 

Winter is here I suppose. It is grey outside and all the leaves have gone. I feel like fall passed us in a flash. Now Christmas is approaching like a freight train. We had all but decided that we will be driving all night to get to Florida for the holiday. While this seems the easiest option the thought is exhausting at the same time, for obvious reasons I am sure. We are officially getting the new apartment - yay - but the woman who lives there is taking her sweet time getting out of the place. So though we thought we might get to do some moving in before we left for Tallahassee, that idea is slipping away. Please pray she gets out and they get it ready before we leave..that would really be amazing. Another exhausting thought. Get back from a lovely Christmas and have to move our home in the space of a few days before Stephen goes back to school. I would love to be packing now and I will hopefully get to start on that a bit.. but there is no where to put the boxes. We can hardly walk in here as it is. I have given up taking the girls for walks because it is just too much to get the stroller put together and get it out the door into the cold.. etc etc. I will be able to leave it assembled in the new place and that will be heavenly (Ada is screaming right now btw, still getting readjusted to napping at home, my poor baby). We need every penny we have to get moved into this new place and it is going to work out just great.. but that means a super lean Christmas. This is fine with me since I can't think of anything I would really like anyway.. other than a full night's sleep or a weekend away with Stephen and that won't be happening for a while so..I am content to just get to see all our family. 

I have always been pretty comfortable being at home for long periods of time. This is starting to come to an end I think. While I enjoy the solitude some days, it starts to wear on me other days. I am so used to talking to other adults during my day. I try to talk to Stephen when he gets home but he is so tired. I know I could go out and meet up with various friends and I need to be doing that I think. Sadly most of the time I just feel so drained that I don't have the energy. Ellen invited us to dinner last night and though I knew it would be a stretch I decided to make myself go and it was a wonderful outing. Dinner was great and even though we were only there for about an hour or so, just that small amount of adult interaction was great. The girls were very well behaved as well. The funny thing is that raising twins is really not all that difficult. It's all the other things that you have to keep up with that wears you out. The girls are a joy, even with the ups and downs of napping etc. It's making sure the house is livable, that we have food to eat, that I get a shower every day.. some days I feel completely on top of it and Stephen comes home to a 50s housewife with a pot roast in the crock pot. Then there are other days where he comes home to a greasy haired frump who doesn't have a clue what we can eat for dinner. Those are the days that I feel like a failure. It's my job  (right now) to raise the girls and keep the home fires burning. I keep telling myself that life will be a little more manageable in our new place, that feeling like the walls are closing in on me isn't helping anything. I know that has a little to do with it, but I know that isn't everything. Need to get my head on straight. 

Sorry for running on and sorry for the lack of pictures... will do better next go round I hope :)

Messing with Perfection

The last few weeks have seen a marked improvement in the napping around this house. By marked improvement I mean to say that it has been completely predictable, scheduled and organized. The girls have slept like a dream, right when I wanted them too. They have been well rested and happy and playful as a result. Why then, you might ask, would I want to mess with the system I have going? Two words - The Holidays. Yes, the holiday season is upon us and that means we are all looking forward to loads of good food, good visits and a general all around good time to be had by all. On the flip side, we are heading into uncharted napping/sleeping territory in unfamiliar beds and rooms with unfamiliar smells, sights and sounds. Thus I have thrown my perfected napping system out the window in order to retrain them to expect the unexpected. This means that in the next couple of weeks, Ada has to learn to nap in a crib instead of the swing, they both have to learn to nap through the other's cries and the white noise maker on the swing in their room is out of commission. I started this new training yesterday, yes I know this was a little late but seriously folks... I had to get some things done last week! So I just went with what worked until I could get my house/self/life put back together. My normal routine is to put Ada in the swing and then rock Margot until she get's drowsy, then put Margot in the crib where she settles into her napping posture , turn on the white noise and that's that. They are both out like a light for the full nap time. What bliss this has been. Bliss that was not present in this house yesterday morning. 

I decided to hold one child while the other finished their tummy time so I started with Margot while Ada attempted to roll over on her blanket. Margot got sleepy as she usually does and I put her down with her blankie and binkie. Then I held Ada for a few minutes until she was sleepy and put her down with the same equipment. That lasted about 5 minutes. Ada just doesn't sleep as well in the morning as she does in the afternoon.. this is the reason I started using the swing with her in the first place - desperation. Crying ensued and I made my trips back and forth comforting and replacing binkies. Soon they were both going at the top of their lungs. I sat on the couch reminding myself of why I was doing this to myself. Ada finally cried herself to sleep about 5 minutes before she was supposed to be up for her next feeding. Margot went the whole time in tears. Fabulous. Exhausted I got both girls up and fought their flailing limbs and red faced screams to change diapers and we all sat down for a nice long feeding. They were super cranky afterwards ..hmmm.. wonder why that could be. I used the same routine when I put them down at one and this time I only had to go in once for Ada. They were both so exhausted that I even let them sleep an extra 30 minutes. So what have we learned? Ada still doesn't like to nap in the morning and if they have poor morning naps they will most likely make up for it in the afternoon. I may decide that Ada gets to stay up when Margot goes down in the morning. I think I may try to get her to go down but if she won't them I may not push the issue too hard. When she is ready to nap in the morning I guess she will do so. She has a different sleep cycle than Margot anyway. She doesn't need as much it seems. I say that but when I go in to replace the paci and rub her tummy she calms down and her heavy eyes close. Anyway.. it was much better in the afternoon. This morning it is better than yesterday morning and I hope this trend continues. I would be having them nap in their new travel cribs  but they are already set up at Mom and Dad's house awaiting our arrival this evening. We are spending Thanksgiving there and this will be the first time the girls have spent the night away from home so... crossing our fingers. We are praying this all goes pretty well. If they don't really have it down by the time we come back home, I will be having them sleep in these quite a bit until we head to Florida for Christmas. That's right, we are driving to Florida with 4 month old twins to spend Christmas with Grammy Mary and Grandpa Larry. As much as I am looking forward to spend all that time with everyone and getting to see everyone.. I .. am .. a little.. terrified. I mean.. I still haven't figured out how to get there! Meaning, when to leave for the drive.. should we drive all night ? Leave after their last feeding and just go through until morning? That seems nutso.. but so does trying to find a place to stop and nurse twins! Can't just do it in the car.. it will be packed to the brim.. and if I do stop to nurse them both.. where will we change diapers? Car again.. packed to the brim. McDonald's ? One of those Koala Care stations? I nurse while Stephen run's babies in and out changing diapers? That could take at least an hour.. what a circus :) I figure if I can at least get them super comfortable sleeping/napping in their new cribs that will take some of the stress out of the whole endeavor right? And no, bottles wouldn't help, just trust me on that one. We will figure it out but we are still figuring :) Ok.. gotta go start getting things ready for this trip tonight.. wish me luck!

PS.. the girls are both sleeping..in cribs.. no white noise.. with 80s music playing outside their door... things may be looking up :)