Thursday, September 01, 2011


No, that is not a nod at the ever annoying Charlie Sheen. It is the sum total of my day today as SAHM (Stat At Home Mom for the uninitiated). Ah hmm! (clears throat)

Frankie wakes up screaming this morning and won't eat for several hours = losing

Stephen stays a little late so I can pump = winning

Frankie won't even touch the bottle of pumped milk = losing

No shower for the last two days = losing

Girls won't FREAKIN' stay in their beds at bedtime resulting in various form of punishment as well as emotionally and physically draining Stephen and I of our remaining energy from any given day = losing

Ada figures out she can get up and down from the potty all by herself without the help of her step stool = winning

Margot wants us to count items on the counting page of her Richard Scary Word Book during lunch time and makes it all the way to the acorns = winning

Mary calls me at lunch time and gives me a mini-pep talk while I sit in tears in the bathroom hiding from the girls for a few moments = winning

Currently listening to Stephen wage WWIII with Ada to keep her in her bed = losing

Finding dairy, soy, chocolate free cookies last night and almost consuming the entire bag = winning/losing (can a person qualify as a repressed individual from lack of sweets?)

Ada and Margot now sit in bed and read books on their own before crawling under their covers and falling asleep for nap.. such big girls = winning

Frances and Margot wake up from nap just as I am dozing off = losing

Margot snuggles up and watches movie while Frances giggles for the first time = winning

Ada has a little pee-pee accident during nap = losing

I have my very own washer dryer in the house to wash the dirty sheets right away = winning

Stephen coming home a little early = a nice long hot shower for me = winning

Cooking dinner for a new friend and being able to actually deliver it on time = winning

Frances recovers from her bad day and eats a huge dinner tonight = winning

In the space of time that it has taken me to type this, Stephen has managed to get the girls to stay in bed.. and it's only 8:16 = winning

My day today has been incredible. Not incredibly good or incredibly bad.. just incredible. I have comforted the sweetest, cutest, most adorable baby on the planet while she screamed in agony and gurgled from her refluxing. I have dressed my girls, helped them brush their hair and teeth, only to have them discard their clothing and run around in their panties all day. I myself stayed in my PJs all day.. and that sounds too cute for what it was.. I stayed in what I slept in all day. Are you picturing a frumpy housewife type with saggy boobs in a nursing top and slept-in hair..? Good. This afternoon, when a friend called to vent about the troubles that life sometimes hands us, I felt like I was running a marathon. No, that term is used too much I think. When I hung up the phone to go and comfort Frankie and get the girls ready for their nap, I honestly had the fleeting thought that I was in battle. Speaking to my friend felt like a call from another general to discuss battle tactics. I walked through the living room answering two sets of the same rapid fire questions that I answer every day ("Why do we have to go night night?" "Can I have another sip of water?" "Can you hop me up the stairs?" etc.). I weathered their barrage of pre-school logic with an ease that only comes from practice, all the while jostling their baby sister to help her get the air out of her tummy. It's hard to explain but it's almost like a runner's high, the moment you realize you are in control of the situation. The dog is barking and you are answering a billion questions while bouncing a baby and making a pot roast (lets not kid ourselves, that was in the Crock Pot but still!), the phone rings and your daughter clings to your thigh as you switch loads of laundry and your mind is spinning and you almost want to scream and then.. you don't. Your baby gives a huge belch and a happy grin, the laundry whirs it's way to cleanliness, the house warms with the aroma of comfort food, and you realize you are glad your Ollie barks at you when he needs to pee instead of squatting on the floor and you know the answers to most of Ada's questions and when you don't you are able to make her giggle instead of cry, and Margot just needs some lovin'. You've got this. Even though the house looks like a tornado came through and you look like you swore you never would.. you are in control and things are going the way you need them to go... and you feel so grateful. Grateful to God, grateful to every person who has whispered a prayer for you today, grateful for.. well.. Prozac! In the end, it isn't about winning or losing.. it's about how you played the day.


Ellen said...

Always more than happy to talk battle plans with you, Colonel. =) We can win this war!

Little Ponds said...

Well said Captain Sarah! I love you!

Helene said...

Oh man, I've sooooo had those days too. When you're just so exhausted and you don't think you can keep going but then your kids do something cute or show you just how much you're needed and you can't help but think, "Yeah, I got this...I'm winning".

Mom said...

What an amazing post. You are in a battle of sorts, as are we all. I love your last line, makes a great sound byte. May I quote you Col?