Tuesday, September 30, 2008


The girls took their first trip to Nana and Grandpa's house this past Saturday. We stopped and visited with Gram and Aunt B when we first got into town, then spent the rest of the day at Mom and Dad's. A good time was had by all. The girls slept through the entire visit. 

I just got back from a lovely walk with Erin. I am walking lots and lots these days and eating good nutritious food ( no junk ) so....why the heck does it seem like I am GAINING weight?!??! I don't have scales here so I am just going on the way my body feels and the way I fit into the clothes that I DO manage to fit into and call me crazy but.. seems like I am going no where fast with this whole weight loss thing. Yeah I know 9 months on 9 months off yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, I just Googled "breast feeding and losing weight" and I found out loads of very interesting stuff. For example, while many women do lost tons of weight while nursing, there are loads that don't. Apparently the hormone released while you nurse is the same or very similar to what is in birth control pills and if you get bigger on the pill .. then is stands to reason that you would swell while nursing too. I read many comments from women who said they ate well and exercised while nursing and nothing really happened until the weaned the baby and then it all came off all at once. Hmmm.. I wish this was a little more common knowledge. I thought I was doing something wrong. I know I can only do what I can do, but reading all this really made me feel better. I will just keep eating my healthy diet and going for vigorous walks and doing Pilates when the girls allow. Glad to know I am not the only one who feels the way I feel about the whole thing. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me. 

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I should be in bed..

.. but instead I can't sleep. The girls are going for their hip ultrasound tomorrow. Apparently, twins are prone to hip issues, particularly breech twins (Margot) so we have to get them checked out. That's not keeping me awake though. Not sure what is. So I am just going to ramble for a minute and then make myself attempt sleep. 

You know what I find kinda funny that I feel like no one really tells you about babies..? It is just incredible to me how many times they poop on their clothes!!! I mean, I have heard mention of the occasional "blow out" but for goodness sakes.. I thought it was super rare or something. Maybe it's just my girls... maybe it's time to go up a size on the diapers but all I can say is thank heavens for baby stain getter outer stuff. I think I have washed my Boppy covers at least 4 times this week.. a drip here and leak there.. Goodness. I am pleased that they are eating so well .. I guess I just never knew that poo could just leak out of a diaper like that. Thank goodness it's breastmilk poo so there is not really an odor but still.. I never experienced this side of babies in all my years of baby sitting. 

Another thing I was surprised about, pleasantly this time, is how sweet their breath is. I am sure each mother thinks her baby's breath is sweet, but I suppose it never occurred to me that they would have such sweet breath. 

Sometimes it's hard for me to make myself put them down for a nap - crazy? Usually someone is fussier than the other (varies from day to day) so the least fussy one goes in the swing for a nap and I hold the other until they are sleepy enough to put down in the crib. It's so hard some days for me not to just hold and snuggle that little sleepy/sleeping bundle for the entire nap time. I think I have said all that before.. but again.. I suppose it bears repeating. 

Ok.. enough cheesy nonsense. I am ordering myself to bed. 

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Double decker baby daddy. This is how we spent most of Sunday.. no church.. one walk.. lots of crying and fussiness.. a long Saturday night preceded this long Sunday in which we actually started watching old home videos of ourselves pre-twins. The house was a wreck, but somehow we managed to cook a pot of chili (I was cooking while Stephen sported both babies) and have a pretty decent day after all. We enjoyed watching Jeremy and Michelle's wedding, puppy videos of Oliver and our first trip to New York .. the pre-grad school trip. In one part of that video Stephen and I are walking through a street fair in Chelsea and I ask him what he thinks of New York and does he think he would ever like to live there.. he said yes. 

Monday saw the girls getting their first ever full on tub bath (Margot's belly button FINALLY came off!!!) We took a tiny video and two photos.. see.. it's really a two person job to bathe the little ones so all 4 parental arms were needed so we salvaged what we could for a few memories and then got down to business. They were cold and that luke warm baby approved water doesn't stay "hot" for long. 

Both Ada and Margot are trying desperately to smile at us. They have almost got it and it has happened very briefly a few times already - briefly meaning mili-second and no it's not a "gas smile" its the makings of a real I-see-you-mommy/daddy smile. 

They have been exploring their play gym this week as well. We try to play as much as we can during the day, but those sessions are usually short ones. They can get overstimulated pretty quickly some days. They  are holding onto rings and some toys now which is pretty fun. Ada held onto her frog toy and brought it up to her mouth over the weekend. It's amazing to me how quickly new sensations overwhelm them. Something soft feels good to them one moment but soon becomes and issue and they are ready to let it go or move away from it. They still sleep a lot during the day so many times crankiness during play time is easily remedied by a nap. 

Ada says "What is the problem Margot? I think this is a perfectly fine way to spend 10 minutes of our day."

Why am I still awake.. well.. I am on duty.. despite an evening walk (we went for one this morning too) and a double feeding session, Ada and Margot have decided to stay awake and not fall asleep tonight. We put them down 2 hours ago and soon after I sent Stephen to bed since I had a nice nap today. I think Margot is finally out and I just fed Ada again so hopefully this will be it. Sheesh. Last night they went down so easily and slept so well.. I swear every day is different. Once you think you  have got a system down they change it up on you  and you are back to square one. Have I said that before? Probably, but it bears repeating I think. 

Stephen and I talked a lot about "home" this weekend - "home" being New York/Brooklyn. When we think of Florida and NC (respectively) they don't feel like home.. why is that? Why did we feel more at home in a place we lived for only 2 years? Was it because it was the first place we made a conscious choice to live ? Was it the fact that we felt like we fit in so well there? Who knows. It's hard not to dream of moving back. We talk about it a lot. What if we won the lottery? We could buy a brown stone in Park Slope or Sunset Park and Stephen could have a studio in that building down by the F train. We could fly to see family 'cuz we would be super rich. Heck, we could fly family to see us! We pretend we will move back when the girls are a little older.. before they start school. We are out of our minds, I know this. We are so blessed here in Raleigh - so blessed to be part of this instant community of incredibly wonderful people. So why the heck would we want to go back to bumming around on the subway and walking blocks and blocks to get milk??? I don't understand it. I suppose I have never really felt like I fit in anywhere and Brooklyn/NYC was the first place I have lived that I truly felt at ease and comfortable right away. I felt like I belonged there and I was free to do and say whatever I felt like. No social barriers.. no strange looks.. whatever. I am not going to start whining about missing Brooklyn again I just.. don't get why that place felt like home to us and this place - that is far more home-esque and makes a heck of a lot more sense for us to live in - just doesn't. My Raleigh friends who read this thing probably hate me right now or are rolling their eyes. Rightly so. I know I know... move on.. be grateful. I will.. I am.. really.. goodnight. 

Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday.. again..

So every time I come near the computer when the girls are napping.. they wake up.. start crying/screaming and I have to abort my mission. I am taking a gigantic risk to write this post, but I just felt like making a go of it. They are currently napping next to me on the bed and just now when I started typing, Ada stretched and made a load of her grunting "waking up" noises.. but she has now quieted back down so on we go. 

I have started letting them nap during the day wherever they fall asleep.. I hope this is not bad. I will try and put them in the crib to nap and if they are happy there - so be it. However, if they fall asleep during tummy time - as in the picture above - I will let them nap right where they crash and usually crash right next to them. I have discovered that we all sleep better this way. Moving them to the crib is not always the best idea. 

Nights they spend in their crib without a doubt. Putting them has been relatively easy the last week or so. I feed them their last feeding at 8 or so. Then we change them and Stephen wraps them up tight and we each hold on until they settle down and/or fall asleep then put them in the crib. Usually we have to go in and re-comfort one or both once or twice but that's it. Then the two of us rush to get in bed ourselves to get as much sleep as possible in case they wake up earlier than expected. Normally one will wake around 3am - we get her up and feed her then put her back down - and her sister will wake about an hour later and we do the same for her.. then the alarm goes off at 5 and we are both up getting showers and breakfast while the girls snooze until their first morning feeding at 8.. sometimes it ends up being 7 if they are hungry earlier. So, I guess they are not really sleep through the night consistently but we feel like they are doing pretty well and it leaves us feeling more rested. 

Stephen loves to hold them first thing when he gets home in the afternoon.

Margot gripping his pocket. They are grabbing at things now. My hair is of course their favorite thing to snag. No smiles yet but they seem to be very close. Lots of cooing and they really enjoy staring into our faces. Holding their heads up well too, these girls are strong! I don't know how I will hold both at once in a few more weeks!

Above you see my birthday present from Stephen.. well these and an ice cream cake from Ben and Jerry's. The man knows how much I love my Terrantino..plus we saw this Grindhouse double feature at BAM in Brooklyn after a particularly lovely dinner so.. it's sentimental in the way that only a cheesy bloody guts and gore B movie can be. 

I have been cleared by my doc to do whatever, whenever. My scar is healing up nicely.. well ..healed  up really. The weather here is fantastic so we are taking lots and lots of nice long walks. Ada loves to ride along and look up at the trees. Margot enjoys this as well sometimes but she peppers in a bit of crying with all that looking. She is not yet as much of a fan of riding in the stroller. Ada likes more movement anyway. She loves for Stephen to zoom her around the room or bounce her up and down. Margot doesn't like these things as much and looks frightened and anxious when the goes for such wild rides with Daddy. Ada seems the daredevil at this age. 

I am doing ok.. the house is not as clean as I would like it but considering I turned down an offer from my mom to come and clean it that is my own dang fault :) Anyway, we cleaned half of it last night and we will do the other half tonight. My days are long but I am making it. Feels sort of like a marathon of sorts. A marathon where you are constantly on call to have to step off to the side and rock a baby. Sometimes I feel like my back is going to break in half if I have to stand up for one more second. So I have to let one of my girls cry in the crib while I comfort the other from the rocking chair. I try to comfort the crib bound one from afar "It's ok Margot.. you're ok Mommy's right here.." and so on.. but that doesn't do too much. Sometimes .. you just have to let them cry.. am I right? I try to let this happen as infrequently as possible but I am only human and only one person with only 2 arms. When Stephen comes home in the afternoon he is already tired from work but jumps in anyway, heating up dinner, holding babies, bathing babies etc. It really is the most work I have done in my entire life. I try to sleep when they sleep but honestly sometimes I just have to get a few things done.. and when I attempt it.. they usually wake up. They are still the sweetest babies I have ever known. 

One more thing..I have to just say  that the folks over at St. Davids are just the most amazing people we have ever had the pleasure to encounter. The meals have been incredible, huge batches of home cooked goodness with salad and sometimes even desert! Last week we were given the largest apple pie I have ever seen in my life! Anyway, we are so blessed and so thankful for their generosity to us. They just keep blessing us and blessing us over and over again.  Really could not have dreamed up a better place for Stephen to be working.

Friday, September 12, 2008


Finally, Friday has arrived. That means that Stephen will be home with me for the next two days. Hurrah! 

The girls had a great doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Ada weighed 7lbs 13 oz and measured 20 and 1/2 inches while Margot was 7lbs 14 oz and 21 and 1/2 inches in length. They insist on keeping up with each other! One ounce apart and they both have grown exactly 1 and 1/2 inches since they were born. Everything else looks good. The doctor did say she heard a slight heart murmur in each of them but it is apparently very normal for this age and should disappear soon. She was not concerned but said we would keep a close eye on it for the next few appointments. 

Soon it will be time for those dreaded vaccinations. I want to have them vaccinated, but I am concerned about the amount of vaccinations that are given to their tiny systems at once. All you moms out there... any advice ? After talking at length with the doctor, a new mom herself, I feel so confused that I am inclined to just do it they way the office suggests and say a prayer for their safety. Still, what did the rest of you do about this ? She told me we could do it any way we wanted too and rattled off a bunch of technical mumbo jumbo about when this needed to take place and this other thing and the timing of that as compared with the first one etc etc etc.. yadda yadda yadda. Sheesh. I am glad she is flexible but seriously, how am I supposed to come up with a plan for this when I am not a doctor!?  Help...?

The girls are sleep super well at night right now. Last night they didn't even cluster feed and they slept almost straight through. Margot woke at 2:30 (after going to bed at 9:30) and I fed her, then Ada woke at 4 something. Previously I would make sure both were awake at the same time to feed at night, but I am trying a new strategy. Since the doc said it was ok to start phasing out that early AM feeding, I am letting each girl decide on her own whether she wants to wake to eat or not. If she wants to sleep through, then so be it. So far this strategy has afforded Stephen and I some super rested mornings. With feeding only one baby at a time, I can nurse on my side (aka snooze and nurse at the same time) so he doesn't have to be awake to change diapers and try to keep babies awake enough to eat etc - I can do it all on my own. I "rest my eyes" while they eat. The fall asleep after they are done and we tuck them back into bed. I am sure you are all super interested in all of this. 

Yesterday was a tough day. Stephen stayed just a little late at work. I was expecting him earlier so I had started to watch the seconds tick by when he arrived at the front door. I asked him to watch the girls for me so I could get a few things done around the house - soon after bursting into tears in his arms as I tried to scurry around, doing laundry and organizing the disaster of a desk that I have been staring at for days. He was such a sweetheart and decided that after he had given the girls their bath, he would take them for a drive. He reasoned that it might help me just relax to know they were out of the house and therefore the possibility of them crying at any moment would be removed from my mind. What a great idea! I had never thought of that but he was right. Just those 30 minutes alone with no tears was super refreshing. I got things in my house tidied and even managed to write a few thank you notes. I have to admit, seeing him drive away with the two of them sleeping sweetly in their car seats did make me tear up a little. The thing of it is, they are just so good. Don't get me wrong, they cry - quite a bit - but they are babies .. you know? That's what babies do. I do my best to comfort and engage them but sometimes despite it all - they just cry. I can hold them both at once, though it's not easy, and when this becomes necessary I do my best to comfort both but.. it's hard ya'll. I have taken to letting them nap on the bed with me in the morning. The rest of the day and night they sleep in their crib but after that first morning feeding.. it just seems to work best to have family nap time. I have yet to get frustrated with them because I feel like we are all in this together. They do their best to be patient and let me know what they need and I do my best to accommodate. It's myself that I get frustrated with. Why am I not strong enough to take care of them and manage the house as well ? Why do I choose to take a nap sometimes when they are sleeping when I could be doing other things ? I know I need to rest, I know that all of this will take time but it's hard. I must admit.. I also want my body back. Badly. Seeing my reflection some days can make me want to cover the mirrors in the house. Stringy hair, that belly, those thighs, the same 4 outfits (I plan to remedy that one this weekend with some birthday shopping!) I know this too will take time but I am just saying.. it's hard for me. I am working on it, taking walks really helps my mood. Still, I guess I am just an impatient person. I have been the same size since high school.. until now.. it's hard to go 29 years being the same size and then in 9 months.. it seems that nothing you own will fit on your body. Worry not. I am not trying to diet while breast feeding twins - I don't diet anyway, never have. Just expressing what I am battling over here. In a word.. an acute case of vanity. 

Not to harp on a subject but man.. these girls are just so sweet. Sometimes I hold them for a long time when they have finished eating. We sit in a big pile I feel guilty for not being more creative with their "awake time" in that moment, but all I want to do is talk to them and watch them crane their little necks up to look at me, their hands like tiny star fish grasping at my face, gripping my shirt. Nothing is more precious that watching them work a pacifier in their sleep, that little plastic front bobbing up and down. Some days I think I would just like to hold them the entire day. I was never much of a baby person.. but this is totally different. 

Ok, done rambling. 

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Today I am this many..

..that's right .. today I enter my 3rd decade of life... and what a day it has been already. The girls present to me began last night, when they decided to cluster feed for almost 5 hours straight. How was this a present you might ask? Well, they then proceeded to .. wait for it.. sleep through the night!!!!!!! Well.. Margot did wake once at about 2:30 and fed for a few minutes before passing out again and try as we might, Ada would not wake to feed a single sip. In my book that is sleeping through the night. This morning I had both a shower and breakfast before they sweetly (screaming the whole time) came with me to drop Stephen off at school and then we came back home and had a big family nap time on the big bed. I have recently learned (as of yesterday) that if they so bless me to fall asleep with me there on the bed after nursing, that I should curl right up  next to them so we can all get some shut eye, instead of attempting to transfer them to the crib. So we all napped while watching Pride and Prejudice. 

Oliver too wished me Happy Birthday today by attempting to devour the girls basket of toys that I left within his reach when I took Stephen to school. Poor pup. He thought they were all for him.

Here is Stephen this weekend managing the ladies while I got ready for Church. That's right, we all went to Church on Sunday - together! The girls slept right through like champs - though I jumped at every single grunt and squeak - down on my knees in front of their carriers rocking and sshhh'ing. Sunday was the launch service for Fellowship Raleigh so it was an especially special service for them to attend. 

I even dressed them in little dresses for the trip. I failed to take pictures until we were home and they were both screaming with hunger by then so I am afraid this will have to do for both. This is Margot, momentarily passed out from her tirade. I assure you they were both super duper adorable. 

Things to be thankful for on my birthday: 

1. Loads of awesome birthday checks!!!! What oh what to spend them on :)

2. My sweet sleeping baby girls

3. My sweet hardworking husband

4. The incredible faculty at St. David's who will be bringing our family meals on Monday,                  Wednesday, and Friday from now until October 13th!!!!!! Unbelievable. 

5. My spa gift certificate from Mom and Dad

6. My fabulous stroller that allows me to get out of the house and get some fresh air

7. Lunch with Ellen yesterday

Hmm.. I could go on and on but I must stop so I can wake the little ones so they can eat before we head out for their doctor's appointment. Excited to see how much they weigh this time. It has been a fabulous birthday morning thus far :)

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Weathering the storm

Both Stephen and Ada are wearing purple today. Someone's getting a little milk belly :)

So the hurricane has come and gone without too much damage done - at least in our neighborhood. Man, am I tired of seeing them talk about it on the news.. every single stinkin' channel has had nothing on but hurricane coverage since yesterday. Annoying, since the storm only had about 20 MPH winds around here.. not that big of a deal folks - move on! I can't handle the local news around here, I mean they were giving "rainfall updates" when they didn't have anything else storm related to talk about. Wow.. I was wondering just how much rain had fallen in my hood. Sheesh. 

Yesterday was quite a challenge. Here's how it went down. 

Stephen's ride to work forgot he had a prayer meeting to lead yesterday morning and had to beg out of giving him a ride at the last minute. No problem. We loaded the girls in the car and I drove him to work. Ah, nice to get out of the house and feel useful. Back at home, I set about dealing with a recent health issue. See, Margot has had a tiny case of thrush. It had gone away completely, but then I noticed it had returned on Wednesday and called the pediatrician. The nurse I spoke to thought it might be an internal yeast infection (internal as in.. in my breasts...hmmm maybe that is why I have been feeling those electric shock waves of pain) on my part and that I should call my OB to get some Diflucan to take care of the problem. Oh and by the way continue to give the antibiotics to both girls now, and also put some of the antibiotic liquid on myself after I nurse, and make sure to boil all my bras and hang them in the sun to dry, and boil anything the girls have had in their mouths after each nursing session.. and don't let them share anything. Simple enough right? I can keep a steady batch of binkies sterilizing. So feeding sessions look like this: give each girl her medicine (wipe up the yellow sticky goo that does not make it down the hatch and ends up running down their chins and cheeks), nurse, spread said sticky goo on myself, attempt to interact with babies during their "awake time", spend however long it takes to get them down to sleep - with assistance of binkies - put girls down to nap. Wake them up to nurse in 3 hours, confiscate tainted binkies and toss in dirty binky bowl on shelf - to await sterilization - start process all over again. Got it. I can handle that. Oh drat! Forgot to call the OB for that pesky Rx for myself. Call OB. OB wants me to come in and be seen. Grrrrr!!! They have an appointment at 2pm... I am waiting for her to tell me which day this 2pm appointment is available when it dawns on me that she might mean today.. she did mean today (well yesterday.. Friday).. yes today at 2pm .. it is currently 1:30 so I have 30 minutes to get it together and get to the doctor. Thank GOD I had my shower already and the girls had just eaten and were down for a nap. Got them up and safely installed in their car seats, trying not to think about the fact that this would be my first time trying to get anywhere with both of them alone. Margot snoozes away, Ada is not pleased about the task at hand, Oliver tries to eat my alive as I leave him alone in the house for the second time that day. Am amazed that I can carry both car seats at once. Race to the doctor's office where kind women appear at every turn to open doors for me and my oversized load. Sit on edge of seat, praying that Ada will nod off. She stays quiet but looks reproachfully up at me, working that binky. My name is called. I struggle over to the nurses station where they take my blood pressure and weigh me (gulp). I am pleased to see that I am a mere 20 lbs from my normal weight - not too shabby. Go back to sit and wait for the real appointment to start - all the while fielding comments and questions about the girls. Finally it's really my turn. I stand over the babies in my paper gown alternately reinserting pacifiers and praying they will stay quiet. Remember suddenly that I haven't had lunch yet!!! Feeling lightheaded. Doc comes in and apologizes for making me come in (Dang straight!) and gives me the Rx the pediatrician recommended - 2 Diflucan a day for 10 days - Yikes, my poor liver. I hurry back out of the office and out to the car where I start to wonder if it might not be safe for me to drive - so hungry I can't see straight. Quick prayer. Decide that I MUST stop for fast food. Head for the closest Wendy's but turn into the McDonald's instead by mistake - oh well. Once I have my food I realize there is no way I can get home and eat this before the girls wake up to eat again. It has started to rain by this point. Pull into the closest parking lot and shovel down my "food". Just as I finish the girls start to stir. We head for home. Now it's really starting to come down and I have no umbrella to cover the girls with. Duh. Cover each car seat with the girls respective blankets they are snuggled in and carry one at a time back into the house. Take a deep breath and both girls are suddenly wide awake and starving. Settle in to nurse. Stephen calls - he is ready to come home  - did I want to pick him up or should he try to find a ride? I need to get to Target to pick up that prescription and also get some extra pacifiers since we now are going through them like water. Decide to pick him up myself so we can all go to Target as quick as possible. Yet again, load the poor, tired little girls back into the car hoping against hope that they will not start cluster feeding right now. Stephen sits with the girls in the car while I run inside since I can't remember which pacifier we have been using recently and can only recognize it by sight. LOVE the girl at the pharmacy counter. She recently moved down from the Bronx and is just so fantastic. She has my stuff ready within minutes and I run back out to the car and head back home to feed the girls again, who by this time have woken up. Busy day.. busy busy day. I am pleased to announce that I made it through without a single tear - must have been the adrenaline. 

The sun is finally out and I am watching Stephen work on set ideas for this years production of Cinderella at St. David's while  Rashomon plays out on the television screen. Margot has been seriously fussy the last 2 days and is therefore napping in her little seat and enjoying her first taste of Japanese samurai films. She can't seem to stay asleep in the crib, where her sister is contentedly snoozing. 

They have started to discover their sense of touch this week. Reaching out to touch our shoulders and arms when they are being picked up. Touching each other's hands while they nurse and exploring their blankets, binkies, and outfits with outstretched fingers. They touch and grab and then quickly withdraw their hands after a few moments as if the sensation has become too much to bear in that instant. 

I keep seeing glimpses of their future selves in their little faces. The faces we will help learn to crawl and walk, ride a bike and drive a car, coming into focus for brief seconds at a time. Pieces of the day where they look less like babies and more like little girls. I do my best to interact with them in their awake times. Touching their skin with various toys of different textures, calling them by name and trying to decide if they are looking at me or through me- mostly through me right now. 

I hope this sunshine lasts outside, it's shaping up to be a great day for a walk. 

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Four Weeks

Four weeks ago today, I was sitting in a hospital bed feeling sick with nerves, watching "Cash Cab" with Stephen as we waited for the nurses to come get us. I remember the girls being super uncomfortable and moving around quite a lot while I tried desperately to relax. 

Today I sat listening to the Coldplay channel on Pandora and watching Margot suck furiously at her pacifier and Ada stare transfixed at the light coming through the window in the living room. Any moment Ada will grow tired of sitting in her seat and want to be held and talked too. She likes to be given tours of the house. I walk her through each room, holding her upright so she is facing me, and describe what takes place in each space. She listens with apparent rapt attention and watches the light dancing off the ceiling. Margot sits contentedly in her seat, with pacifier, staring at Stephen's mineral paintings. They are black and white. Soon they will each be telling me, with their "talking" cries, that they are ready for a nap. We will endure another diaper change and the screaming that comes with such activities that tend to wake a baby up instead of putting her to sleep as she wishes. I will listen to Ada scream at the top of her lungs while I change and swaddle Margot, and Margot ask quietly for her pacifier while I calm and take care of Ada. Then Ada goes down while I snuggle Margot for a few minutes. Ada's turn. Once everyone is happily drowsy, Oliver and I leave them to their dreams.

Today I tried a different strategy for making sure I get a shower and breakfast in a timely manner. I decided to get up with Stephen after their 5 am feeding and do it all then. That way if someone is in need, Stephen can help them out while I finish getting ready for the day. It worked like a charm this morning. It was incredible to start the day feeling clean and refreshed, instead of waiting around in my PJs for them to sleep long enough for me to wash up. I feel excited that I might be able to start eating breakfast with Stephen before he leaves for work. I feel energetic enough to tidy the house before taking a cat nap on the couch before the next feeding at 8. Margot woke right on cue, and I had to rouse Ada. 

The sun is shining through the windows, the babies are sleeping quietly in their crib, my house is tidy and I am enjoying a tall glass of cranberry juice and sparkling water... life is good. 

PS - for those of you who are wondering, yes, I have had some bad days. Yesterday was particularly trying. The drains in our house were clogged and the repair men were here during my one window to take a shower so I didn't get to shower until Stephen came home last night. My house was a disaster and the girls were rather a little more demanding than usual so I didn't get to even make the bed, barely got to eat or drink anything. I spent the majority of the day biting back the tears and the evening with Stephen letting them all out. So yeah.. today is a welcome change. 

Happy Four Weeks on earth baby girls. 

Monday, September 01, 2008


There are many things that come in clusters... grapes for instance.. well around here pacifiers come in clusters and most recently.. feedings. Yesterday the girls started cluster feeding. For those of you who have never heard of this, it means that instead of eating every 2-4 hours, a baby might eat every hour or even more frequently in some cases. In our case, it meant that after the girls 4pm feeding, they did not go to sleep for more than 10 minutes, then awoke screaming for more food and proceeded to eat again at 5, 6, and 7. Since each feeding session last about 30 minutes that means that they ate, stayed awake for a few minutes, slept for a few minutes, then awoke again starving and started the process all over again. Wow. I was nervous that they weren't getting anything after the 2nd feeding but I was assured by my online research that they were, in fact, getting food and I could hear them gulping so that was also reassuring. One site I looked at said that sometimes babies do this as they are gearing up to sleep for a very long time, sometimes all night. Ada and Margot did not sleep through the night, but they did end up sleeping for two 5 hour stretches so.. that's not half bad. Funny thing is, Stephen and I both felt like we had been hit by a truck. You would think that more rest would be refreshing , instead we were more tired.. must have been the past week catching up with us or something. 

I was fully expecting them to do that again tonight but so far so good.. maybe that will change after the next feeding. Right now they are both sleeping soundly. 

This weekend has been super relaxing. The weather today has been so nice and cool that we were able to leave the windows open for most of the day. September is most definitely my favorite month of the year.. and not just because it's my birthday month :) Speaking of which, I keep remembering, at the oddest times, that I am about to turn 30.. the big 3-0. I always thought I would have some huge celebration (of sorts) for my 30th birthday but somehow it seems inconsequential in light of the present goings on in our home. The girls have their next doctor's appointment on my birthday in fact so hopefully they will have put on a pound at least and we will have multiple things to celebrate :)