Thursday, June 29, 2006

my friend katie

my friend katie had an opening tonight. we all arrived in the pouring rain to wish her happiness and success. it was a group show and a spur of the moment sort of thing but as always she as prepared and her installation looked great (even though she didnt get to/have to install it herself). nathan and stephen arrived together as always (thats nathan telling the story with his hands - he doesnt like me taking his picture so i turned the flash off and held it down and took secret pictures of him anyway because i dont like him telling me what to do). the guy in the green is andrew.. our resident brit. he arrived half soaked and looking like a hobbit with harry potter hair as always. katie is the stunning blond leaned causally against the wall beside the nathan ducking my picture. i love my friends so much. i even love the way we all get anti-social and stand in the hall at openings laughing at the same jokes and movie quotes. there was a new guy there this evening that i didnt get a picture of. he was from california and even had a tatoo of the california flag on his arm. for some reason that tattoo seemed really powerful to me. like he loved CA that much that he was willing to permanently attach himself to it. anyway thats off the subject de jour. congrats katie girl! you are much loved and supported! all you viewers out there.. buy more art!!!!


Things I overheard today:

While waiting in line for 20 minutes downstairs at JCrew (line being held up by older out of shape woman with transparent blue t-back trying to get the store to refund her sales tax), manager has been summoned:
Impatient waspy woman 1 to impatient waspy woman 2 - "Oh look, now they've called in a gay guy.. this outa be good!!"

While seated with Abby on an MTA bus in midtown, woman standing to our left in her early 40s with no visible disabilities carrying a small shopping bag and wielding a dark red smoothy drink of some sort that is threatening to come open and spill on my head. Said woman into cell phone - " Yes!! I am on the BUS.. STANDING!!! (glowers at Abby and me)(meaningful second sigh)"

Really wish I had px of these guys but alas I have been in a shy stage and have not yet received the spy camera from my Archie comic. Must check on that. The Sea Monkeys are doing well.

Things I am excited about today:

We are going to Maine for the weekend and Oli gets to come along too.
Eating lobster in Maine.
Watching lobster boats in the bay in Maine.
Looking for tug boats in the bay in Maine.
Walking down the sidewalk in Maine.
Listening to the way people speak in Maine.
Finding a quiet spot to nap and listen to my iPod in Maine.
The fact that Stephen made a reservation at a hotel in New Hampshire as a halfway point.
Staying in hotels this weekend (I love to stay in hotels.. of all shapes and sizes).
Stephen got me tickets to the Raconteurs in September for my birthday and told me about it today.
I am going to buy tickets to see The New Pornographers at the Summer Stage concert series in Central Park tomorrow. They are playing on August 3rd.
Our new apartment in Brooklyn.
Getting rid of lots of things so we can live more simply and comfortably in our new place.
The new couch that Avi and Abby gave us.
Belonging to the co-op in Park Slope.
Working at the co-op in Park Slope.
Two 3/4 sleeve feather weight tees that I got at JCrew today.
The doctor said I am back to a healthy weight, 116 lbs. yay for chicken veggie soup over noodles and sour dough bread.

There is a bird chirping madly outside my window and its very late for that kind of bird behavior. I think he is confused. But happy anyway. Its dark in here and the boys are sound asleep behind me. Its actually been a pretty good day. Just feeling less and less like going to work but that is pretty normal I think. Death Cab is singing about Brothers on a Hotel Bed. I think its a portrait of people on opposite coasts. He didn't mean to fall in love but it happened in an instant and he could see from beginning to end.

Things I miss today:

Lightening bugs
Mom's iced tea
Fresh green beans and country ham in a big pot
My front porch at home in NC
Driving up 18 North with the windows down

People I miss today:


Alright. The longer I stay up the more tempting it is to continue to do so. I better go to bed. I have a job to be at tomorrow. I'd better say that's that. Love to you all.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

at home at night

i think i like my apartment best at night..its really quiet and the cool breeze blows through the screens and it makes me feel like being up all night.. i am excited about moving to the city.. but i am going to miss this place..its got so much history that i can't even guess at.. its been here for almost 100 years.. i feel more comfortable in old feels more like home for some reason. i love that its cheap and that it feels like a secret paradise that people who think old buildings are dirty and run down will never get to experience.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

self study

i am told that i sit with my hand pressed in front of my mouth more often than i should. i never realized how shy that makes me look. i think i even watch movies this way. the person who brought this to my attention made it sound like a habit that needed to be broken. apparently i do this sometimes during meetings or events at work. after careful consideration and self study i have decided its a habit i am fond of and will not be breaking.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

John Michael

my little brother John is the most precious person in my life. i missed him so bad while he was gone. these pictures have come with me through college and engagements and boyfriends and 4 states, they are always the last things to get packed up and the first to be unpacked and settled in. sometimes good memories are the best you can get and if thats the case then it pays to keep several on hand.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Capitalist Pirates..?

I went outside the rink side of the building today and what did I see? I yacht moored on the very sidewalk I usually go to eat my soup and listen to my Ian Bjornstad playlist! Well well.. are we really surprised? Afterall, people in New York are not supposed to be shocked at anything. Its just so unreal to me the amount of money spent to make the sidewalk.. the SIDEWALK look like a dock for this racing boat. Complete with Giant screen playing a loop of the crew describing their victories of some sort.. I didn't take the time to listen (shame on me) and a glass house showcasing their silver cup. They had even built pools on either side with at least 3 feet of water in them. People tripping over eachother to get a good shot of the boat with their daughter/son/wife/bff/nanny posed like a sailor.
I am constantly amazed at the contractors of Rockefeller Plaza. Overnight they can perform magic feats of wonder. It wasn't long ago that I walked out expecting to find benches on which to enjoy my lunch and instead I was met by "Art Rock!!" this mobile installation show of contemporary artists. It was at least more interesting that the present shit. Did I say shit, I meant ship of course. I am being a little unfair, if you are a fan of this kind of boating adventure having the very boat out there in the center of Rockefeller Plaza must be pretty amazing. Sort of the way I might feel if I walked outside to get some fresh air and found that a Red Headed Viking Pirate had taken up residence in my favorite corner of the causeway. That would be pretty interesting to me. I would want to take lots of pictures of him and sit in wonder at his arrival in this strange land. And much like my reaction to the present ornament.. my fellow New York working folk would pass by my precious Viking with indifferent glances. To each his(or her) own.

I am stuck on a triple repeat today/ tonight. The New Pornographers: Twin Cinema - "These Are The Fables", "Sing Me Spanish Techno", and "Falling Through Your Clothes". I may sleep with my iPod on tonight.

Have you ever felt like having the perfect song playing on repeat made up for all the unspoken words of your day? Listening to that choice on the way into your day made you feel all your conversations had already been figured out and talked out and needed nothing additional. Then on the way home its the comfort of reminding you that knew exactly what to say and said it before you needed too.

sunday blues

so i know everyone has this right? sunday blues, thats what my mom calls it. i just say "i don't want too!!" which is short for " i don't want to go back to work tomorrow!!" sundays are tougher lately than they used to be anyway. the last 4 in a row i have been either in bed with a migraine or recovering from spending the day before in bed with one. very uncool. you start to feel kind of cheated out of your weekend really. this kind of thing happens to me more often at the changing of the seasons so i know it will pass but for now its scary to come home on friday knowing that you may or may not get to enjoy the next two days. we are planning to move to Brooklyn in August. i am excited about the prospect but find myself wondering on nights like this. the street we live off of now is pretty busy and can be very noisy most of the time. but once in awhile everything settles down and it can actually feel peaceful here. my computer is situated in the corner of the bedroom and the bedroom is a corner room itself so i can feel the cross breeze through the open windows. there is a sprinkler on outside. i am glad we live on the 3rd floor so i dont worry about people trying to get in. its so hot out tonight. i cant sleep in here but will have to camp out in the living room where the AC is tonight. that ends up being where i spend most nights during the summer. sunday blues are harder when its peaceful outside like it is now. makes me want to stay up to all hours just to feel like the morning might be delayed. but like all good working girls i will get to bed and get some sleep so that i can "hit the ground running" in the morning at 5:30am in time to shower and dress and run catch the train to the city. there is always next sunday. always the hope that next time i will be ready for the week ahead. being unprepared and feeling cheated only makes the blues harder to ignore. one of these days i will get it together. or maybe i will just become a woman of leisure and stop with the rat race altogether! i seem to remember that unemployed sunday nights were not as painful or meloncholy. who am i kidding? being unemployed comes with its own set of issues! namely.. worries about money and where the next rent check will come from. it would just be nice not to have to worry about monday breathing down your neck...i think a perfect remedy to sunday blues would be to work at a barn. then on monday morning, i could just pull on my cut offs and boots, throw my chaps over my shoulder and head to work in a ball cap! get all dirty working hard all day and come home tired and satisfied. this sunday that is my cure. i will go to sleep dreaming of that far off possibility.

Sunday, June 18, 2006


i am awake. i was asleep only moments ago and now can't get my eyes to close again. i was awakened by a dream. i guess you could call it a nightmare but it wasn't that terrifying or anything. i dreamed i was at an outdoor event being held under a large white tent. i don't think it was a wedding, but it was some sort of celebration. the funny thing about it was that everyone arrived from underground, or at least that is the way it appeared. i don't know how i arrived, but i went to check out the others arrival. there was a large hole in the ground and as i got closer i realized that there must be stairs or an escalator in the hole. i was right so wasn't surprised to find the hold filled with the same stairs i have had so many dreams about before. large, open treads with no railing. made of some type of stone. granite? i felt i needed to climb down to see where the stairs started from. my pulse was racing so fast as i took the first step that i almost lost my balance and fell.. but steadied myself and took another step down instead. i was wearing high heels so that made the hole thing more difficult. there were little imperfections and pits in the stone that i kept feeling like i was going to get my heel caught in. i felt dizzy looking down at my feet to make sure i didn't catch my heel so i looked straight ahead and then felt blind because i had nothing to tell me i was not about to walk over the edge. the thought of walking over the edge actually started to make me feel calmer as i continued my descent.. when i got about half way down, i reached my foot for the next step down and in reaching fell. i don't think i fell over the edge i just think there were no more stairs. i was falling when i woke up with a jolt, the way i usually wake up from falling dreams. and here i am, trying to get sleepy again.
i came here to check my email but the box was empty. that can happen if you dont write people. they have nothing to write to you about. i think email is something to be diversified in. you have to write alot of different people. i used to do that with actual letters. i would write 5 letters a week for 3 weeks straight then wait. soon i would started getting the responses. it was fun and i like the sending more than the receiving sometimes. its always nice to receive though.
anyway, this is not very interesting writing now. i feel a migraine coming on. maybe that is why i cant sleep. i get those a lot lately. that slow ache that turns into that desperate pain that makes you want to bash your head in with a brick. maybe if i can get to sleep it will go away. i always think this and it is true about 20% of the time. here's to 20%.

Friday, June 16, 2006


this is my dog, oliver. he is my favorite thing my world. he stays home by himself all week for too many hours and on the weekends i try to take him out to the park so he can stretch his energetic legs. i wanted a dog of my own when i was a little kid and my family had a family dog who was pretty amazing, ribsy. so when my birthday rolled around two years ago, i asked for a puppy and along came oliver. he is a perfect gentleman and sleeps cuddled on my belly under the covers every night. there is something about a relationship with a dog that i don't think can be duplicated. somehow they know just what to do every time to make you feel better no matter what is going on. when i get migraines he stays cuddled on my leg until i feel better. he doesn't go near my stomach (even though its his favorite cuddle spot) because somehow he knows how nauseous i get when i have those wretched things. he is a pretty amazing dog. even trying to write anything about him on this sounds so cheezy but its all true and if you have one of your own you know what i am talking about.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


So my firm had this scavenger hunt through the village for our summer associate program. It was pretty fun. My team came in 2nd place. Apparently we had the least creative team name (The Type "A"s) and the least creative photos so we didn't get any extra points like the other teams got even though we finished a good 10 minutes before everyone else. Oh well. I am not really that competitive so it didn't matter that much to me personally but at least 2 of my team-mates were pretty disappointed. We had to collect photos along the way for added credit and the one above was supposed to have a live animal in it. Check.

This one is supposed to contain all of our heads. Check.

Here we were supposed to be taking a picture with someone who had on a t-shirt from a place outside of NY. This poor tourist kids t-shirt said Laguna Beach so we snagged him. We were almost out of time.

All in all I think it was fun. The questions were pretty clever and we had to think creatively as a team which is always a challenge but being that we were all Type A's it was a lot easier that I thought it would be. We all had the same goal in mind... making sure we got every question right and made it back right on time or before! Sometimes being that anal doesn't always pay off.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

implantation homage

There is this building outside the windows of the 29th floor. I have spent a lot of time studying it and trying to figure out what makes it so perfect in my mind. I have no answers. Its big, and tall, and black. Which makes it very modern to me. And I know what I am saying when I use the term modern instead of contemporary. I think this building is very modern. It has the most perfect and powerful lines of any building in midtown. There are no decorative features. It just is its large and imposing self. So powerful in its simple plain form. As with the nightmare stairs, it is more imposing when viewed in person.

I once took a walk over to it to see if it was as imposing from the ground. I sat in the little park area at its base (its that touch of green in the second photo). It is a good place to sit and talk to a friend. I felt safe sitting in its shadow. It doesn't try to be anything other than what it is and was meant to be. A place to work. A structure among structures, implanted on a tiny square of space, crowded by the less worthy. It is the personification of what I would imagine Roark would have put there. He would have designed it in his bare studio and starved to have someone build it and after its construction, those who criticized it would have only done so out of jealousy of his genius.


I saw this movie called "Brick" this week at the Angelika on Broadway. It is the best film I have seen since Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Lost in Translation. Film Noir set in high school, these kids are as cool as they come. The best part of the entire thing is the writing. The wordsmith who wove together the script for Brendan Frye and his fellow characters is a genius, pure and simple. I took some pictures of the theater because its one of my favorites and just adds to the experience. As I took the last shot, some guy came over and told me I wasn't allowed to take pictures in there. I happily agreed to walk away, I was on my way out anyway. Glad I had been trixy enough to already get all the pictures I wanted before being discovered.

It was raining the day I saw Brick which, in retrospect, seems almost too fitting. Its too bad it has such limited release because it really is incredible. If you are lucky enough to be in a city where it is being shown, its money well spent. I plan to see it again as soon as possible to soak in more of that dialog.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

in "honor" of what is now yesterday..

..should we heed? if we do, will it get better ratings?

the "wanna be"

Long legs and bright cherry red patent leather stiletto could you not stare? She looked about 17. 15 really but I am giving some room since I am often a poor judge of age. She was wearing those tiny trendy shorts people wear now with grey pinstripes. They even had a cuff, making them shorter. Black tank with bra strap falling off one shoulder. Long brown hair carefully straightened and sprayed into place. She looked back over her shoulder giving the security guard a heavily mascara'd glance. He met it, and without shame watched her lanky, young frame as she strutted along the corridor. Almost losing the precarious shoes on the stairs, she righted herself with the help of the friend at her side. The friend had to have been the same age. She had shoulder length brown hair straightened with the same care, but with slightly less finesse. She was not as slender as the former and wore grey leggings that hit just past her knees instead of the shorts. Her own black top did not have sleeves and revealed her fleshy back and shoulders. Her feet clad in more comfortable looking wedges with a darker red leather - no shine to it but red just the same. Wandering with little expressed purpose through the station, I lost sight of them as they passed the escalators. Memories of high school. Was I the 'wanna be' or her 'wanna be'? Both. I think we have all been both at some moment.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

visit to the nightmare stairs

I have frequent nightmares about stairs that have no railing and no backs on them. The kind that your foot could go right through while are you running away from whomever is chasing you in that nightmarish moment. Those stairs exist in my life and I encountered them a few weeks ago in a gallery on 17th and 10th in Chelsea. If you have never had this dream, or a fear of open stairs, then these pictures will mean nothing to you and you can feel confident that you are well adjusted in your stair climbing.

The same night I discovered these stairs, I ran into three different people who could not even make it up to the top to see the opening we were all there for. They are more imposing in person I think.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Pirate name

I saw this on someone else's blog and tried it..Pretty funny. Now all I need is the tattoo to go with it!

My pirate name is:

Red Mary Bonney

Passion is a big part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from

Sunday, June 04, 2006

maiden voyage

here we go... this is scarier than i thought it would be..