Optimist

We got our first congratulation cards yesterday for the babies. The first was an e-card from our buddy Julie and when I got home last night, there was a card from my brother Page and his wife Jenny. So sweet. Now I have a first something to put in the baby book :)

I am feeling better day by day and this morning's commute was the best by far. Riding the train when you are attempting to keep you breakfast in place is not so fun. I never noticed just how much the subway smells before - P.U. At any rate, it is getting better bit by bit.

Today was jeans day at work so I was feeling wonderfully casual when I left the house this morning in my jeans, Doc Martins and red puffer jacket. I have been listening to Podcasts lately instead of music, alternating between The Ricky Gervais Show and Tim Keller's sermons that I have been missing. For some reason have all that talking going on in my ears keeps my mind from wandering and quiets my own personal voices. Today I felt like some music. I went for the band that never lets me down - The Shins. True to form I was practically skipping down the sidewalk after about a block. Feeling so optimistic I am not even sure if Debbie Downer could have deflated my balloon. The sky was blue and the sun bright and for a split second I pondered playing hooky and just walking straight past the train station and on to Staten Island. Good girl that I am, I got on the train. I was so excited and pumped listing to the happy upbeat tunes in my ears that even though I got a fantastic window seat - perfect for napping - I stayed awake the whole time trying to keep from smiling like an idiot. As we went over the bridge, I watched a tugboat puffing along behind a barge and I was suddenly overwhelmed (as I often am on the bridge for some reason) with a feeling of home, as in... this is my home. When we passed over China Town I had a vision of myself bodily clinging to the ornate moldings on the buildings exterior - desperate not to leave... desperate to stay in the city where I have collected a set of the happiest memories and experiences of my entire life.

With twins on the way, we have no choice but to move back south where we can afford to live with Stephen being the bread winner and me staying home with the little ones. We are excited about moving, both feeling like our time here has officially come to an end with no regrets. We have lived the heck out of this place and I am so glad that we did. Nevertheless... I am going to MISS it here. I will miss my friends and my job and the familiar places that I have enjoyed so much these last two years.

It feels good somehow to be giving up something I really love for a couple of someones that I am growing to love.