Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Home Again

We are home again and trying to put everything back in some semblance of order. Trying being the operative word there :) The picture above is of Margot and her new fascination with her own hands. I call this look her "patient hands" because it seems to be most prevalent when she is waiting to be picked up, getting her diaper changed, ready to move on to a new activity.. in other words ..being patient. 

Here the girls are playing with Daddy.. Ada is grabbing Margot's ear. Margot doesn't seem to mind too much. 

I got almost no pictures at Thanksgiving. I was so busy with various things that the day just got away from me so.. oh well... there is always next year. Here are Gram and Margot enjoying some snuggles. 

Aunt B and Ada were enjoying some snuggly time as well while we waiting for the magical meal to make it's way to the table. 

Margot and Mom playing through some fussy time. 

We arrived at Mom and Dad's late on Tuesday night, and left on Saturday afternoon. We figured it would be easier for the girls to go down in a new place if they were already drowsy from riding in the car after their last feeding etc. Ada went down like a dream and Margot took about an hour or so to finally settle in.. I think I ended up just feeding her again or something.. I can't remember. We had a great time visiting.. or what passes for visiting when you  are juggling twins. The girls napped and slept better in their new cribs than I thought they would so that was great. Still, they did not sleep as well as they do here at home. So every nap time was just as intense as their wakeful times. Stephen and I hovered around the door to the upstairs listening for cries. It seemed that every naptime one baby would nap well and the other had trouble.. it varied as to which one got more sleep. The nights were pretty rough. I feel like I got about 3 hours of sleep a night - if that. They would go down ok..then wake up earlier than they usually did plus Mommy, Daddy, one baby and Oliver in a double bed makes for a tight fit. Still we survived and arrived home on Saturday to crash. Still recovering though I feel much better today. It's just hard. If they got any rest I was grateful and I felt hopeful for our coming trip to Florida. I am continuing to have them nap in their cribs and with no props, though I may invest in a white noise machine for traveling naps because it just might be helpful for them. We shall see. Anyway.. all in all it went better than I had expected so I  feel blessed. I have to admit though, I haven't been that tired since they were born. First times are usually tough right?

Enough about babies. I feel like all I talk about lately is baby naps and baby poop and baby everything. I do still exist outside these little ladies. 

Winter is here I suppose. It is grey outside and all the leaves have gone. I feel like fall passed us in a flash. Now Christmas is approaching like a freight train. We had all but decided that we will be driving all night to get to Florida for the holiday. While this seems the easiest option the thought is exhausting at the same time, for obvious reasons I am sure. We are officially getting the new apartment - yay - but the woman who lives there is taking her sweet time getting out of the place. So though we thought we might get to do some moving in before we left for Tallahassee, that idea is slipping away. Please pray she gets out and they get it ready before we leave..that would really be amazing. Another exhausting thought. Get back from a lovely Christmas and have to move our home in the space of a few days before Stephen goes back to school. I would love to be packing now and I will hopefully get to start on that a bit.. but there is no where to put the boxes. We can hardly walk in here as it is. I have given up taking the girls for walks because it is just too much to get the stroller put together and get it out the door into the cold.. etc etc. I will be able to leave it assembled in the new place and that will be heavenly (Ada is screaming right now btw, still getting readjusted to napping at home, my poor baby). We need every penny we have to get moved into this new place and it is going to work out just great.. but that means a super lean Christmas. This is fine with me since I can't think of anything I would really like anyway.. other than a full night's sleep or a weekend away with Stephen and that won't be happening for a while so..I am content to just get to see all our family. 

I have always been pretty comfortable being at home for long periods of time. This is starting to come to an end I think. While I enjoy the solitude some days, it starts to wear on me other days. I am so used to talking to other adults during my day. I try to talk to Stephen when he gets home but he is so tired. I know I could go out and meet up with various friends and I need to be doing that I think. Sadly most of the time I just feel so drained that I don't have the energy. Ellen invited us to dinner last night and though I knew it would be a stretch I decided to make myself go and it was a wonderful outing. Dinner was great and even though we were only there for about an hour or so, just that small amount of adult interaction was great. The girls were very well behaved as well. The funny thing is that raising twins is really not all that difficult. It's all the other things that you have to keep up with that wears you out. The girls are a joy, even with the ups and downs of napping etc. It's making sure the house is livable, that we have food to eat, that I get a shower every day.. some days I feel completely on top of it and Stephen comes home to a 50s housewife with a pot roast in the crock pot. Then there are other days where he comes home to a greasy haired frump who doesn't have a clue what we can eat for dinner. Those are the days that I feel like a failure. It's my job  (right now) to raise the girls and keep the home fires burning. I keep telling myself that life will be a little more manageable in our new place, that feeling like the walls are closing in on me isn't helping anything. I know that has a little to do with it, but I know that isn't everything. Need to get my head on straight. 

Sorry for running on and sorry for the lack of pictures... will do better next go round I hope :)


Tracy said...

I love the picture of your mom at the piano...

You are a awesome Mom and I "feel" ya nearly all of the time! Love you!

JoshandGrace said...

We were right down the street and didn't even know it! We had a similar experience with lack of sleep due to having 2 instead of 1. I need to get tips from you on handling 2 :) When can we hang out??? Give us a ring or an email and we'll work something out!!!