Monday, January 02, 2012
Frances.. this is what it was like to swing you to sleep on the nights that you needed swinging. After visiting with your family for a bit and walking you around the sun room in the dark, humming that song that Darling sings in Lady and The Tramp, my last resort was to take you on a walk in the cool night air. We padded down the driveway in bare feet. You slammed your head into my collar bone, thumb plunged in your mouth, eyes heavy, fingers stroking my cheek.. your strawberry lovey. The glow of the block homes with their angular arrangements of Christmas lights demanded your attention and that little head of yours would pop up, eyes wide, mouth agape. Watch them you would until the next wave of exhaustion hit and then settle a bit more gently on my shoulder. My back would be tired now and we would make our way back home. The grass in the yard felt spongy under my feet. Luxurious to this tired mama. Surrounded by crickets' song, I settled myself on the swing, balancing you on my left thigh and holding you close to my chest. You watched the bright red lights across the street apprehensively. We pushed off from the tree trunk and sailed slowly through the air, golden lit and fresh. You looked up at me, blinking, alive, so warm and safe in my arm. I felt the strength in my legs as I stretched them out, keeping us upright. Humming.. that song never seemed to leave my mind on those nights. You fell asleep so peacefully that it sometimes took me awhile to realize my job was finished. I always wanted more time with you. Sailing through the air in the night with the singular goal of a sleeping baby. My sleeping baby. I will not soon forget.