Wait

Hello. My name is Sarah and this is me about 5 years ago(?) It was laundry day and this was all that was clean in my closet.. I had just showered and was supposed to be packing for a trip down south but was instead playing with my new digital camera. I remember being slightly embarrassed when I decided to keep this picture. I knew one day that I would look back at it and be a bit jealous of how fit I was then. I wanted to be able to look back and remember how fit I was. I hoped that I would always be that fit.. but I was pretty sure the day would come when I wouldn't be.. that day is today. Well really it was like 3 and 1/2 years ago when I got my first stretch mark on my boob when I was pregnant with the twins. I told myself I would work out and "get my body back" once I stopped nursing but when I was able to fit into my pre-preggo jeans without any working out I just decided that was good enough. So my abs were split and my tummy was a little soft... at least I could fit into my clothes... I would tone up soon. I was ok with being 10 lbs heavier than before I got pregnant.. I told myself I looked more like a real mom with a little more meat on my bones. Then I had Frankie.. another baby.. more meat on the other meat. I am meaty. Mighty meaty. Yesterday I took steps to become a bit less so. I have been a member at my gym for over a year. I have swum many a lap but never stepped foot in the actual gym part of the gym. I had a coupon for a free health evaluation thingy and I used it. I knew I was in "bad" shape and I was prepared for the worst. 28% body fat... needs to be more like 18%... Need to lose 26 lbs of fat and gain 7 lbs of lean muscle.. that means all in all I need to lose 19 lbs. I came in wanting to lose about 20 so this was no surprise. In order to come by this information I had to do a series of rigorous 1 minute tests.. like how long can you hold a wall sit etc. Today I am in agony. How the heck am I supposed to actually go through with the planned workouts if I can't even climb a set of stairs the next day?! Focus, Sarah. The reason for all this very personal information is so that I can keep myself accountable. I am going to do this. I know my DDs will never be those cute, perky (sorry Dad and Larry and any other men in my family that read this) little Bs they once were.. that's ok. I am going to get as close as I can to the me in that picture up there. In 6 months. That is the goal. I want to feel healthy again and I want to feel like me again. I have never done this before. Never worked out to lose weight. So here we go. Wish me luck, and please.. please don't be a hater.

Night Swinging

Frances.. this is what it was like to swing you to sleep on the nights that you needed swinging. After visiting with your family for a bit and walking you around the sun room in the dark, humming that song that Darling sings in Lady and The Tramp, my last resort was to take you on a walk in the cool night air. We padded down the driveway in bare feet. You slammed your head into my collar bone, thumb plunged in your mouth, eyes heavy, fingers stroking my cheek.. your strawberry lovey. The glow of the block homes with their angular arrangements of Christmas lights demanded your attention and that little head of yours would pop up, eyes wide, mouth agape. Watch them you would until the next wave of exhaustion hit and then settle a bit more gently on my shoulder. My back would be tired now and we would make our way back home. The grass in the yard felt spongy under my feet. Luxurious to this tired mama. Surrounded by crickets' song, I settled myself on the swing, balancing you on my left thigh and holding you close to my chest. You watched the bright red lights across the street apprehensively. We pushed off from the tree trunk and sailed slowly through the air, golden lit and fresh. You looked up at me, blinking, alive, so warm and safe in my arm. I felt the strength in my legs as I stretched them out, keeping us upright. Humming.. that song never seemed to leave my mind on those nights. You fell asleep so peacefully that it sometimes took me awhile to realize my job was finished. I always wanted more time with you. Sailing through the air in the night with the singular goal of a sleeping baby. My sleeping baby. I will not soon forget.

Fearless Flyers

 

Butterfly kites from Uncle David were such a hit. 

 

How could they not be?

 

.. and then there was the swing.. Ada and the swing..

 Flying as high as Stephen could possibly push her.. never tiring..

..the three year old baroness in the trees...

Cousins.. and summation

..Aunt Laurie her boys (Uncle John included) came with Great Grandma since they are so close by now..

..some silly little girls wore the exact same outfit every day for 10 days.. I had two sets of each and I did laundry more than twice..

..big cousins..

..little cousins..

..fun cousins..

..sweet Great Grandma Elsie finally got to meet Frankie..

..in summation.. there were lots of tickles.. lots of giggles.. a few tears (from kids and we parents alike).. loads of sunshine.. very few headaches.. lots of food confusion over newly discovered food allergies..lots of early mornings and late nights..walks and Christmas lights..

..naps while watching Winnie-the-Pooh...

... and on the nights that Frankie couldn't get to sleep we swung together on the new rope swing that Stephen and Uncle Nathan put up... it was just as magical and relaxing as it sounds.

2012 here we come.

Christmas Morning

 

..finally arrived..

 

..Grammy faithfully made her cinnamon rolls..

 

..no I didn't get Frankie's stocking made this year.. and I am ok with that.. next year..

 

..their very own PINK dollhouses..

 

..with their very own families in each one..

 

..beautiful pop-up Christmas card from Grandmother Shingler..

 

..Margot's beautiful card.. quickly stolen away by myself for it's own protection..

It was a beautiful Christmas morning. 

Amazing Grace

 

..David brought with him his new friend Grace.. and she was..amazing. Seriously. LOVE her.

Uncle David

 

.. then Uncle David arrived.. to help fish for leaves with sticks..

 

..and tell stories by the glow of the chiminea.. 

Winter Park

 

..this is Winter Park.. in the winter..

 

..balmy breezes..

 

..wild girl hair..

 

..trees to climb.. jewelry to wear..

 

..smiles smiles smiles..

Sisters

 

..sisters played puzzles and innumerable other games throughout the new house..

 

..always together..always in pink.. Ada in the very special princess dress than Grammy found in her box of childhood goodies..Frankie in her diaper as often as possible in the balmy weather..

 

..outside every afternoon..

 

..playing some mysterious sleeping game in which Margot was consistently in charge..

 

..blue eyes.. and teef :)

Cookie Bakers

 

.. we baked cookies in our new home in Orlando..

 

..decorated with bright colors from tiny bowls with tiny spoons..

 

... in the sun filled room in our new home..

Home

..home is whenever I'm with you. This year home moved from Tallahassee to Orlando. Home is Frankie in Grammy's new kitchen sink at Christmas time.