Tuesday, August 03, 2010


When Daddy takes his little girls for a walk.. sometimes they come home with doughnuts. This time they brought home a few with sprinkles.. these are the girls' first experience with sprinkles.

They were a hit.

The sprinkled sugar bombs were for dessert. Ada and Margot ate all of their dinner so they got a treat. They have been surprisingly reasonable in the meal department this week. Suddenly you can reason with them. "Ada, if you eat a piece of your cheese, then you can have another cracker. Ok?" Ok. Eats the cheese and patiently waits for her cracker. God only knows how they will be next week or even tomorrow for that matter but the last few days have been really great with the food stuff. Stephen and I find ourselves wanting to give them dessert.. something we have sort of forgotten about in the past since sometimes we have it and sometimes we don't. How do you forget to give your kids dessert for crying out loud? I think we got so stuck in the routine of the last two years that we sometimes have a hard time seeing outside of what we are used to doing for survival.

So here I am typing and watching Big.. and watching the clock tick by.. 12:37am.. I keep thinking any second I will get sleepy and be able to go to bed.. but not yet. Slept great last night, and the night before. So there is hope at least.. I can get a good nights sleep once in awhile.

I have been cleaning like a crazy person the last few days. It feels good to have my house back to the way I like it. I feel on top of it.. like I have taken my life back. I have felt like I was at the mercy of these headaches for the majority of the last few weeks and it feels good to feel like I am a productive member of my household again. I had the shadow of one that kept me from swimming tonight but it did not keep me from accomplishing my To-Do list in it's entirety so.. there. I have a love/hate relationship with these little phases of my life... the phases when I feel like I have it together.. like I am on top of the meal planning.. the cooking.. the housework.. I love the feeling it gives me.. and I hate that I can never keep it up for very long. Life takes it's inevitable toll and things begin to unravel. Then I have the meals together but not the housework.. and it's ok. Soon the housework is caught up but the fridge needs to be cleaned again and we didn't eat up all our leftovers so I let food go to waste. The dust starts to show on the baseboards and the girls start picking things off the bottoms of their feet because the floors are so dirty. So I dust the baseboards one afternoon during nap time, take a nap while the girls are asleep and let Stephen cook dinner. Life. It pushes you ahead, it runs you over and sometimes you are just dragging along behind it. I like this vantage point. The one where I feel like I can keep up with everything. Where it feels easy to balance all of this and I feel happy and fulfilled just because I made a peach tart on a whim. I think the reason this all feels so good is a direct result of my plunge into chaos. Without the chaos.. I don't get to feel the exhilaration of dusting and polishing my way back to the top of the mountain. So in a way I guess I am thankful for the chaotic times.. and now I am rambling.. and now it is 2:12am and I just got off of Skype with my lovely buddy Katie and the Playback of Big on Netflix just timed out so.. maybe I will see if I can get some shut eye.

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