Found

 

Sometimes I forget I ever stood and waited for the train. I forget what the view from our conference room window was. I forget that look of absolute contented belonging that lived on Stephen's face there. That look that only returned when he held Ada and Margot for the first time in our apartment. Then I find reminders.. like my notebook of self indulgent observations that I carried around when we lived there. I think I am going to share some here.. unedited for better or worse. 

5-23-06

"Sitting on a bench in Central Park by a pond. Watching a couple have their photos taken together by the water. I passed them on the way here posing by the fountain by Bergdorf. Have they just gotten engaged and are taking pictures for the paper? The girl is very loud and sounds like a native New Yorker. She is talking about the fact that all the pictures they take together always come out badly and her head is always chopped off at the top. I wonder when the wedding will be?

From where I sit I can see 4 groups of people taking pictures. . . of eachother, of the pond, of the bench I am sitting on. I too wish I had a camera here if only to take pictures of the picture taking people! What a collection that would make. . pictures of people taking pictures of other things. 

I passed  a very striking woman on 5th just now. She was standing on the corner of a Catholic Church building with another man. She pointed at people passing by with a lit cigarette and mumble shouted negativisms at them. She had on deep red lipstick and she looked like she might have been on something. Her face was so striking. Dark skin and angular lines. She was beautiful in her way. I think her apparent madness made her even more appealing and fascinating. 

A group of British boys just passed my bench here in the park commenting on how clean it is here. I suppose I have to agree with them for the most part. More picture takers just now. It is twilight and soon there will be too little light for portraits and snapshots."