and in other news...

...right so ..it's been a month again since you have heard from me.. bad blogger! Bad Blogger!
Please direct your attention to the image above. This is what my fridge looks like these days. Now how does one make it onto the fridge, you ask? Simple my dear! Just send me something in the mail.. or better yet... pop into my head for no reason and I will dig out and old photo of you and plaster you to my kitchen appliance with a varying assortment of magnets. There is even a hymn there from Redeemer that was particularly meaningful one Sunday. My fridge is actually a very precious collection of dear moments. Like the letter that Stephen's grandmother Angie wrote to us. One of the sweetest most meaningful letters I have received in recent history. I must have read it 5 times at least. She also included a check for us to take ourselves out sometime. Well we did just that! We took ourselves to a fab dinner in a fab Park Slope establishment (since I have presently come to DESPISE Manhattan) .. now for the downer. I haven't written her a thank you note. The thing that makes this so sad is that I have sat down about 19 times to do so but have failed each time to produce anything more than a greeting. I have no idea what my problem is but I sure hope she is reading because Angie, you sweet sweet Grandmother you.. you made our week and that letter and check meant so much to us. THANK YOU ANGIE!!!!!!
I got Stephen tickets to a taping of Conan O'Brien for Valentines Day .. the taping was on the 21st.. Jim Carey was the guest (YEAH SERIOUSLY).. so we get there and Stephen just has no shame folks. Which is a good thing most of the time. It was a really good thing this particular afternoon since we were sitting in the second row of the NBC studio where Conan tapes his show. He, Conan, came out to get the audience going before the show and there was Stephen right there screamin' his head off and acting nuts. Conan zeroed in on him in an instant. He made Stephen stand up and dance with him.. then made fun of the way he was dancing.. then he decided Stephen was worth a hug and enjoyed it so much he made Stephen hug some other random guy in the audience.. then sent him across the stage to hug Max.. who then gave Stephen his drum sticks and sent him back to his seat. For about 5 minutes it was all about Stephen and Conan. Since Conan is our favorite late night host.... words can not express how amazing it was to watch him get more out of my Valentines Day present than I could have ever planned.. and then to have Jim Carey as the guest?!?!?!? It was stinkin' awesome! So it was after all of that excitement that I chose to use Angie's gift to take him out to that fab place in the Slope. Thank you again Angie.. I couldn't have done it without ya!!

So besides hangin' with the big dogs in 30 Rock my world has been pretty calm ... or something. I bounce back and forth between my peaks and valleys, but continue to keep from coming to rest in a valley so I am thankful for that. This past weekend we spent most of our time with various groups of friends. It was completely accidental but it turned out to be very relaxing to bounce from group to group and chat it up with everybody. I have come to grips with my own reality I think and that is a hard thing to get a handle on. Well, I should say I am coming to grips with it. I have been tracking my health very closely the last few months and my patterns are just that - patterns. That means that I can learn from them and take comfort in expecting their arrival instead of being caught off guard.
I am still homesick....but I am coping with that. I have allowed myself to disappear into the depths of my own nostalgia enough times now to heal the loneliness that stings. I think nostalgia keeps you grounded really. It keeps me grounded for sure. Its too easy to lose myself up here, so a periodic dose of memories keeps me from forgetting what really matters to me.

I thought I was pregnant this month.. yes I said it.. there was a tiny glimmer of a possible tiny one. Over the course of 5 years of marriage that can happen you know? We have had many "scares". This one was different though. I wanted it to be positive. I was devastated when it turned out to be false alarm. More specifically I was in denial.. I took 5 tests in all.. kept thinking it was too early or something. I am so tuned into my body these days I was just SURE this was it. It wasn't. This is the first time that I have been truly sad about a negative test. You know what that means !?!??! Could it be that the Shinglers are ready to start family? I'm not telling! You will just have to wait and see. Perhaps the tides have turned. I am still terribly happy with Stephen and my puppy. Adding another member to our budding family could only make me happier.

We are headed home on Friday to North Cacalaka .. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THERE!!!!! Loads to do before we leave.. taxes. .. wash the Oli... pack.. clean.. you know the drill. It feels good to be going home! I can't wait to see everybody. I can't wait to eat Mom's shrimp and grits! AND this trip could be extra special because the newest baby Bollman is pending arrival! Michelle is set to be induced (I think) on Friday if their new little girl has not made her appearance before then. Stephen and I are extra excited about that :) Well I have to go and scrub mildew off of my shower. .. yes mildew grows in Brooklyn too. Bad joke. I have "missed the hell out of you my darlings" ..my lurkers. Stay tuned. I hope to be more verbal in March.