Carolinian...

I am sitting at the table in our new kitchen...hyjacking someone elses wireless service since we don't have our phone/internet worked out yet. Boxes are everywhere.. furniture is ascew and waiting to be told where to put down roots. Oliver is clicking back a forth from the kitchen to the front door to look out at the grass and then return to his bed to work on his bone. It rained 6 inches last night and the air is cool and damp coming in threw the open window. Stephen has gone to take Larry back to the airport in our car and I am here just in case the gas man comes earlier than expected.

We are far from adjusted. I spent the weekend with my parents at Merlefest having a wonderful time visiting and listening to good music during the day and crying myself to sleep at night missing the hum of the city and the sounds of our little piece of 32nd Street. I feel a little homeless at the moment. Found myself saying things like "at the end of our block" and "we always do blabbity blah at Sheppard"... I have no block and there is no more "we".. it's "they" now. Soon I will find my niche here, I am sure of it. It will just take time. I also spent the weekend snapping at well meaning people who said things like "I bet you are glad to be back in NC and away from NYC!!" ... "No.." I would tell them, " I am most certainly NOT glad to be in NC and away from my home.. I am excited about what the future holds for us here but this is very hard and it's going to take a lot of time to adjust." People just don't get it. The only ones who do are the ones who have been through it (shout out to Wendy.. I know you feel me girl). Stephen is just starting to go through withdrawal, having just arrived yesterday. Last night, after dinner at a Mexican place, he asked for an espresso as he would normally do after dinner back home. The waiter looked confused and announced that they had "regular coffee" which he then delivered in a mug the size of a beer stein with a handful of those little plastic creamers that don't need to be refrigerated. That was Stephen's reality moment. Not only did he miss his favorite hot beverage.. but he also felt the sting of being possibly perceived as a snob.

Anyhoo... that's were we are at.. still haven't found the camera cord but should find it soon and will post pictures..headed to Florida on Wednesday to see all of our family there. Miss you guys.

May the road rise to meet you..

...may the wind be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. May the rain fall softly on your fields... and until we meet again...until we meet again.. may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

All of you Vineyard folk know the emotions that gaelic blessing evokes. Tonight is my Xi Rho .. my closing ceremonies for the last two years in Brooklyn.

I rode the train this morning fighting back the tears. At the Atlantic Pacific stop, a man got on with two brand new bright purple bikes. I lost all resolve and the tears poured down my cheeks. When will I be in this place again ? This place where bright purple bikes share the train car with men in suits, headed to their midtown offices. The normalcy of it all. The coexistence of everyone in close spaces. The knowing looks shared when a fellow rider has apparently gotten up on the wrong side of the futon. The newness is still there. The novelty of riding the train to work has not worn off yet. The luxury of day dreaming for 30 minutes before the official start of the work day. The view of the Brooklyn Bridge, regal and serene, standing watch over the boroughs. The small comforts of anonymous cohabitation. The reassurance that visibility can be attained at will by making eye contact with another.

Stephen and I went to dinner one last time at Burger 67. We ate outside to enjoy the weather. We looked away from each other when the tears welled up. These have been the sweetest of times. Our happiest times to date, where we have fallen in love over and over again. I find myself clinging to every last moment, the last glimpse of BAM as we walk back to the train, the last train ride home from Flatbush, the last evening stroll from the train stop to the front stoop...the last evening kiss on that stoop. I can't even imagine my trip to work tomorrow.. walking down the block for the last time. I know we will be back to visit one day. I have to believe that we will be back. I knew it was going to be hard to leave, but I never expected it to feel like this.

Exciting times lie ahead for us. Endless new experiences and memories. I won't forget what this place has meant to me. How it's shaped me, molded me, given me the promise of twin smiles. I want to write a thank you note to Brooklyn.. pour my heart out and let it know what it means to me. It will continue to march on without me, it won't skip a beat. It won't feel my departure, but I will mourn it's absence from my every day. Tomorrow this will no longer be my home. My journey to a new home will have begun.... I am so horrible at goodbyes......

Be it ever so humble..

I am back and it's official.. we now have a place to call home in Raleigh. Stephen has been packing like a crazy man and packed away my camera cord so I can't show you the pictures yet but I will put them up when I am able. My apartment search was pretty wild ... and I can tell you all about it later (I'm sure you are all eager to hear the minute details -ha) but right now we are headed out to Coney Island for some french fries and a stroll on the board walk. Later ya'll!

Super Quick

Just a super quick update before I finish getting ready this morning. We have been pretty busy around here lately and I haven't been able to take the time to update this thing ..but here goes..

- I am leaving this afternoon to find us a place to live in Raleigh. I have multiple leads, thanks to Ellen's help, but please pray that I will find something quick that we can afford and that the process will be smooth and pleasant for all involved. It would be cool if it's a cute place too but I'm not too picky :)

- Baby girls are doing great. Still super active and growing stronger every day.. some of those kicks are real doozies. I am feeling great and have loads of energy and adrenaline flowing so that I am taking advantage of it as much as I can.

- I am taking back what I previously wrote about pink stuff. I think I reacted to harshly, the shock of the news still ringing in my ears. Pink stuff is cute, pink stuff is girly.. I like/have/wear pink stuff (hypocrite alert?) and if anyone wants to get us anything at all we will welcome it with open arms. We welcome all colors equally.

- If you are in the New York area and have not yet been to see the Murakami show at the Brooklyn Museum - run, don't walk. It is a festival of color and fantasy that is not to be missed.. and if you hurry you might still catch the cherry blossoms that are blooming all around the building. Spectacular in the most commercial of ways.

- Only 4 more days at the office for me after today - YEAH!!!!!!!/ Waaaaa.... :( Still undecided.

- For our friends in the area.. time is running out fast and we don't think we will be having a "farewell party" (we pondered for awhile but just can't get it together).. so.. if you have time this weekend or next week (before Thursday) please give us a call and we would love to hang out.. come one come all.. come none that's ok too. We are going to miss you all SO much...

Alright.. that's it for now... Will let you know what I find !!!

Much love!!

Too hot to handle..

Drum roll please... super healthy... right on target for their gestational age... identical ..... GIRLS. Stephen is thrilled and doing back flips. I must admit, I cried when the nurse gave us the news. I was sure at least one, if not both, were boys ... I feel more comfortable with boys.... I grew up with a brother, not a sister. Frankly.. I'm a little scared of girls!! Still, after getting over the initial shock, I am growing use to the idea and getting more and more excited. Of course the most important thing is that they are healthy, so thank the Lord for that. We are both enjoying referring to them as "the girls" or "the ladies". Stephen calls me/us "his girls". For some reason, the fact that they are both girls made Stephen feel sure he wanted to try for more kids later on. We were both sort of on the fence but I have always wanted at least three so I am glad he is no longer afraid to try for more - given the outcome of our first attempt ;) Word to the wise - these girls will not be sporting pastel pinks until they are able to choose for themselves.. so... take it easy on the pink frilly stuff folks. No matching outfits either. I want these cherubs to have the best chance they can at individuality. More to come on that in the future :)

In other news... STEPHEN GO THE JOB AT THE SCHOOL IN RALEIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We found out today after our other exciting news about "Susan and Sharon" (btw -these are not their names guys.. but a reference to my favorite twins growing up from Disney's "The Parent Trap")!!! They were "very impressed" and it was a "unanimous decision". My man blew them away with his rugged good looks and mad artist skills. What a rock star!!! We were so psyched all afternoon calling people to share both sets of good news and answering the phone to hear congratulatory greetings. It was like finding out we were pregnant (for the first time) and winning the lottery on the same day. I am headed down to Raleigh on Tuesday (thanks to the very generous Larry) to hunt for an apartment with Ellen - who is already helping me scope out viable options that I find on Craigslist. It's going to be a whirlwind for the next two weeks but.. we are so excited to finally know what direction to head in!! 

Thank you every one for your well wishes and prayers over the last weeks and months. 

Interview Day

So this will have to be super brief because my hip is killing me and I kinda feel like I just got hit by a truck - long day. Stephen's interview today went incredibly well!!!! He is on his way home now, and when I spoke with him earlier he said that it could not have gone better! He got on really well with the principal, so well in fact they were laughing about kids and talking like casual buddies by the end of the day. They have one more candidate who is interviewing tomorrow, but the guy said that if it "didn't work out" with that person then he didn't see the point in searching any further since Stephen is exactly what they are looking for. We will know something definite early next week.. maybe sooner. Thank you everyone for all of your prayers and good vibes and thoughts. Stephen felt very confident after the interview, enough to say that if it didn't work out and he didn't get an offer then it just wasn't meant to be since the interview could not have possibly gone any better. He felt completely at home at that school and with the faculty that he met with. Thanks again everyone ... and now I am going to plant myself on the couch with Ollie and wait for the man of the house to get home.

alone in Brooklyn..

I am sitting here, alone in our apartment. Stephen has safely arrived at RDU, and managed to navigate the rental car successfully from the airport to our friend Matt's house where he will be staying tonight. Oliver is missing Stephen so badly right now that he won't even come sit in my lap. He is sitting on the red chair with his back to me listening intently to every sound that drifts up the stairwell, waiting for Stephen to come home.

Stephen's big interview is tomorrow. It's an all day affair in which he will meet with several principals of the school, possibly the head master, and also teach a class while the teacher he would be replacing and one or more principals look on. Sounds like a day in hell for this shy girl, but he isn't worried at all. We deliberated over the correct attire this morning and spent most of yesterday tweaking his lesson plan. The man is ready, and I know he is going to do a fantastic job. Nevertheless, please keep him in your prayers tomorrow. Me too, if it's not too much to ask, since I will probably be a nervous wreck waiting to hear how it went.

We are officially moving at the end of April. Not sure where too yet... but we will figure that part out by and by. We gave our notice to the landlord and I just spent the last 2 hours waiting for the real estate agent to bring over a potential tenant only to have her call and say they were taking too long to get here and she was calling it a night. Suppose she will try again tomorrow. We need this place to rent this month so that the landlord will give us back our deposit (since we are breaking our lease by a few months). I am doing my part by keeping everything neat and tidy and smelling fresh. I suppose I could throw in a free song and dance but that might damage our chances.

I gave my notice at work on Monday. That was sort of a sad thing to do. I knew it had to happy but after typing up the official letter for my file and handing to Carol, I suddenly felt like an outsider. Like everything I do from this point forward doesn't really count or matter. I insisted on sitting in on the big recruiting committee meeting today. They were planning the summer program and even though I will not be here for it, and will likely not do much of the actual planning, I wanted to feel needed and to hear what the general outline would be, just in case I do get drafted in the next 3 weeks or so to make calls for pricing comparisons and reservation checks. I am glad I sat in on it but afterward I still felt like an outsider. It didn't help that my hip was bothering me today so I decided to keep my tennis shoes on instead of changing to work shoes. I got the expected looks and comments from the secretaries.

Oliver is now peering out the window, scanning the sidewalk for any sign of Stephen. It's getting late so the poor dog is trying desperately to stay awake at his post, swaying left and right and jerking back awake right before he topples off his perch.

Today was my regular doctor appointment for the twins. Looks like Susan and Sharon are fraternal !!! Once again she saw that line and this time it was more prominent. I hate to admit this on the interweb.. but... I gained 10 lbs this time. Yeah... that's what I said!!! Excuse me!?!? I have done nothing.. and I mean NOTHING different this month with my food intake.. I am eating exactly the same stuff.. same snacks.. everything.. last month it was 4 lbs.. this month.. 10lbs.. I tried not to be self conscious about it after the nurse left the room, but while I waited for the doctor to come in, I started to feel really bad and almost felt embarrassed - like I'd done something wrong. She said, not to worry, of course, that since I gained so little in the beginning that sometimes you see a jump in weight like that about now as your body catches up on fluids etc. She didn't see any cause for concern at all. I haven't gained anything anywhere but my baby bump so she said Susan and Sharon were getting it all and that was good news. She didn't print me any pictures this time but they are once again, super healthy and active. Looking very strong and both the same size, which is good. Got to see their little profiles pretty well, and she let the ultrasound wand thing just sort of rest on my belly instead of pushing so hard and we could see their faces (as opposed to their skeletons). I know I am partial but they are pretty cute little faces. She said so too but I imagine she says that to all the moms :) Baby A was looking right at us when we looked at it's face. Can't wait until Monday .. that's our official appointment at the hospital to have the anatomy scan, which will tell us what the sexes are.

I am going to see if I can coax poor Ollie down from his chair and head to bed in a few. I hope I can sleep..I always have trouble sleeping when Stephen is away...