Wednesday, April 23, 2008

May the road rise to meet you..

...may the wind be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. May the rain fall softly on your fields... and until we meet again...until we meet again.. may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

All of you Vineyard folk know the emotions that gaelic blessing evokes. Tonight is my Xi Rho .. my closing ceremonies for the last two years in Brooklyn.

I rode the train this morning fighting back the tears. At the Atlantic Pacific stop, a man got on with two brand new bright purple bikes. I lost all resolve and the tears poured down my cheeks. When will I be in this place again ? This place where bright purple bikes share the train car with men in suits, headed to their midtown offices. The normalcy of it all. The coexistence of everyone in close spaces. The knowing looks shared when a fellow rider has apparently gotten up on the wrong side of the futon. The newness is still there. The novelty of riding the train to work has not worn off yet. The luxury of day dreaming for 30 minutes before the official start of the work day. The view of the Brooklyn Bridge, regal and serene, standing watch over the boroughs. The small comforts of anonymous cohabitation. The reassurance that visibility can be attained at will by making eye contact with another.

Stephen and I went to dinner one last time at Burger 67. We ate outside to enjoy the weather. We looked away from each other when the tears welled up. These have been the sweetest of times. Our happiest times to date, where we have fallen in love over and over again. I find myself clinging to every last moment, the last glimpse of BAM as we walk back to the train, the last train ride home from Flatbush, the last evening stroll from the train stop to the front stoop...the last evening kiss on that stoop. I can't even imagine my trip to work tomorrow.. walking down the block for the last time. I know we will be back to visit one day. I have to believe that we will be back. I knew it was going to be hard to leave, but I never expected it to feel like this.

Exciting times lie ahead for us. Endless new experiences and memories. I won't forget what this place has meant to me. How it's shaped me, molded me, given me the promise of twin smiles. I want to write a thank you note to Brooklyn.. pour my heart out and let it know what it means to me. It will continue to march on without me, it won't skip a beat. It won't feel my departure, but I will mourn it's absence from my every day. Tomorrow this will no longer be my home. My journey to a new home will have begun.... I am so horrible at goodbyes......


Wendy P. said...

Oh Sarah... how perfectly I understand how you feel this very day; how leaving that crazy, magical city takes such a chunk out of the heart. Life will never be the same now; you'll probably find yourself saying, "When I was in NYC..." as I do all the time. You'll compare your future growth to the point where you were in NY. It just...happens. I understand. And I'm so sorry you had to leave it. I so enjoyed living vicariously through you. :) I so enjoyed hearing you tell of going to Coney Island or of taking the train and all the other things I well relate to. Now I can't wait for the first event at the Bragdon house, where I know you'll be, with baby girls too. :) Be well... here are prayers for a smooth transition and for memories of NY to grow fonder as the days go by.


Nicole Poko said...

Brooklyn will miss you too! and so will Jersey! It was probably the most difficult day to leave, it was PERFECT weather. Hope you have a safe trip. Lots of love.

MKD said...

Sarah! I meant to send you this: "Goodbye To All That," an essay by Joan Didion from her book "Slouching Towards Bethlehem" about her love affair with, and departure from, New York. It rings completely true. Here's a link I found:

Not saying goodbye to you and Stephen,


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