A First Birthday In Pictures

First Word

Frankie just said her first real repeated word! "Bear" She has said "mama" a few times and "dada" lots and lots but we like to count the first real word as something other than that and something that they will repeat multiple times so.. "Bear" it is!!

Stephen told her that the block she is holding was a polar bear and then repeated "Bear" and she just said it right back. 

"Where's the bear Frankie?" 

It's happening!!!

Strawberry

Can you see her tiny vampire teeth up top? :)

One and 600

Frankie is almost one year old. You heard right. On Wednesday she will have her first birthday. Tonight this knowledge has me looking back at the very first pictures on our camera. With all the drama that surrounded her arrival this was the first time Mom and Dad got to hold her, not wanting to disturb her in the PICU. This picture doesn't show it but in the others my dad has a concerned look on his face, that casts a slight shadow on the joy of the occasion. I am glad that look is there because I had almost forgotten that in this moment, as she looks like she is peacefully resting in Nana's arms, she is struggling. She was struggling. Her stridor was so bad that you could hear it from any room in the house. My sweet father was so concerned about his newest granddaughter that he could hardly bear it as we tried to reassure him that she would be alright. That everything was fine.. which was what we had been told by the doctors when they sent us home. After all, she was eating well and on room air. Her "O Sats" were good. Still Dad knew something wasn't right. And I guess we did too.. a brand new baby who sleeps all the way through the night on the first night home from the hospital.. that is not right. Anyway we all know that in the end she got the care she needed and now she is literally the happiest little baby girl on the planet. I just don't want to forget some of those little things about when she first got here. Like how her Papa's heart just couldn't settle when it came to her. Or how the Lord protected her in those two weeks before she was admitted to Wake Med. How she fought to breathe and eat and grow. How strong she was, and is. The amount of strength it took for that child to breathe and eat at the same time before the surgery... the fact that we didn't see true signs of trouble for the first week home is truly remarkable. She fought so hard and just wore herself out.. and thank goodness she did wear herself out so that we could know to get her the help she needed. But still.. it's the fight that really sticks with me. She was determined then and she is determined now and I pray that she keeps that determination .. and yes I know what that means in the next years for me as her mother.. but I can handle it.

Incidentally, this is my 600th post. So.. that is kind of cool. 

Mother's Day

Mother's Day morning was the bearer of many unexpected gifts. After feeding Frankie this morning, I was holding her so she could stand on my lap while I talked to her and kissed that sweet baby mouth. She put her hands on both sides of my face, looked me in the eyes and then pulled me into her belly for a hug.. her soft little arms hugging tight around my neck.. her sweet head laying on top of mine. It was the best present I could never have hoped for. My first hug from my baby. 

Then I went downstairs to greet everyone else and was met with a treasure trove of goodies from our friend Lonna's shop in Oakland CA. Not to mention a beautiful pancake breakfast prepared by the pancake master himself. I had pancakes with Meyer Lemon Marmalade and Chai Spice infused Sugar in my coffee. I have yet to try the homemade granola or the sugared lavender but I am saving those little treats. 

Despite all my spoiling today has been a rough one for me. My emotions have been a wreck. I am fight depression. I have been cranky every since we came home from Church and snippy with my sweet husband.. which I hate doing. I hate it. I hate being snippy with those who love me most. 

We are facing many unanswered questions right now in our simple little life and though I am fighting to trust in the Lord for the answers .. my initial reaction is to get a case of the "poor me"s. As in... we can't decide which fantastic Pre-K program to accept bundles of scholarship money from and send our kids too.. poor me. We have a car in wonderfully working order (that we were GIVEN) but it seems we need another one in order to live with an ounce of sanity next year and we can't figure out how to make that happen.. poor me. There are 3 folks from Stephen's school who are selling very nice/reasonably priced cars but we still can't find the money for them.. right now at least. Poor me. How ungrateful I feel for the blessings in my life. How blessed I am and what I complainer I have become. The truth is that these are definitely first world problems. I know this. I am painfully aware of this as we contemplate adding a second car to our household. A second car when so many do not have a first car. Still with 5am swim practices looming and Pre-K to become a daily commitment for the girls.. we can't see any way past it. These are grown up problems. Where to send the kids to school.. how to find the money we don't have for another vehicle. I know the Lord is in the details.. I know it. I just can't get my heart to feel it right now. I want to cling to the truth I know is there and remember how He has carried us on his shoulders through the deep parts of the river so many times before.. how easily I forget. I pray tomorrow morning will bring fresh remembrances for my soul and with it peace. I need some peace.. so funny how all I have to do is reach out and take it yet my stubborn heart refuses to budge at the moment. Sigh. Budge heart.. budge!!!

Papa's birthday weekend

 

We spent the weekend at Mom and Dad's celebrating Dad's birthday and an early Mother's Day. 

The girls love swinging on the porch with Papa after breakfast. 

Saturday we headed up to the "River Property" and spent the majority of the day visiting and playing in the woods and water. 

Frankie hugging Daddy. 

It is as beautiful and peaceful as it looks. 

Frankie getting some love from Aunt Margie. 

Sam just needed a little break from the water.. it was a bit chilly that day. 

Huckleberry Ada. No fish but lots of practice casting. 

Light

I posted the following on Stephen's FB wall this morning:

"We are painting this morning. Ada just tried to paint the sun on her picture and got frustrated. She was trying to put yellow all over the picture and it just didn't look right. I told her the little yellow circle she started with looked great and just like a sun. She said "No mommy! The sun is everywhere.. all over the house and the grass.. the sun is light. Sometimes paint doesn't work for drawing light."

She is your daughter through and through."

Truth. 

Evening

Yes.. been playing with Photoshop tonight. 

We waved at the engineer and he blew the horn for us. 

Beach

Me: "Ada can you look at Mommy and smile for just one second? Please?"

Ada: "No mommy. I can't. My princess needs her castle. I'm too busy mama."

Our girls weekend at the beach with Nana was as amazing or better than my best daydreams of how it would go. This is the first time that I was able to get the girls to be excited about playing in the sand and running on the beach. 

I absolutely can not wait for the next trip. This is going to be an epic summer. 

Twins are the best. There's Margot all prim and proper with her hair pulled back and smiling for the camera when asked. And then there's Ada.. hair blowing in her face.. busily digging and in her own world. I love the difference in their personalities. They are perfect compliments to one another. 

Frankie's first time in the pool. We have another water bug on our hands. Not even a whimper. She was ready to swim laps after about 5 minutes. 

Triple Threat. 

And then my camera ran out of batteries. Thought I checked it before we left but it turns out it was the iPod that was fully charged. Blast. We will be back again soon. Let the summer begin!

Our Morning

Frankie is convinced that we need to watch The Today Show in the morning. 

She is super proud of herself for learning this new trick. She thinks that the TV needs to be on when it is off.. and off when it is on. We are hearing a lot of half finished headlines. This child is nearly impossible to get frustrated with. She really is this happy all of the time. 

Every morning after getting dressed Margot spends some personal time in the bathroom choosing her accessories for the day. She emerges bright and smiling announcing to whomever is closest that she is "all ready for the day". Today she took some extra time to get Rabbit ready as well. Our Margot is such a precious tender hearted beauty. 

Then there is Ada. Our wonderful wild and carefree Ada Grey. When I found this dress I knew it was meant for her. She wears almost every day. I do a lot of laundry. Ada won't let you touch her hair. She likes it wild she says. She spends a lot of her day twirling, dancing and twirling... and singing. 

Another few of our morning. They frequently collide in a clump like this.. loving on their baby. 

Ada twirling and Margot dancing like a ballerina on her tippy toes. 

We are all headed for an all girls beach weekend tonight. Nana is coming to get me and my three fairies to whisk us away to Emerald Isle. I might be crazy or out of my mind to do this.. but for some reason it seems like it is going to be fun. I will bring the camera either way to capture the outcome. 

Finally.. the girls have been listening to a lot of classical music lately. My attempt to calm my ragged nerves of late. They love to listen to the music and then tell me what they think the piece is called.. or what it is about. I put the Chopin station on our Pandora and you will never guess which song was their favorite. I give you "Spider in the Bathroom".