Facebook and the week in review

Vineyard Men (1995?) - Day Off at Carowinds
Rene, Amin, Josh, Ryan, Carson, Andy, Guillome (?), Jeremy



Vineyard Ladies (1995?) - Day Off at Carowinds
_____, me, Kate, Katie(?), _____, Rebecca


So I have joined Facebook, at the suggestion of Ms. Julie and I am certainly glad I did!! As opposed to my brief experience with MySpace, when I go into Facebook I am greeted by loads of familiar and friendly faces that I had no idea how to find. Props on the "Old Skool Vineyard" group Julie!! The pictures are amazing. Ah, the nostalgia. Those easy days when you spend the summer working 24 hours a day for that brilliant $35 check to blow on your day off. But the friendships made were forged in steel and ...blabbity blah blah blah, cheesy statement and more cheese and mushy sentences.
Conclusion: I love my Vineyard buds and its awesome to be able to reach them all in one place. Cheers to that.

We have been reading The Deathly Hallows, the latest and last Harry Potter book. I say we because Stephen and I always read HP out loud to each other. It takes 3 times as long to finish it this way but we enjoy it. We have also listened to all of the books on tape with Jim Dale as the narrator. These are priceless and if you haven't tried one yet, I highly recommend it. The man is a ..er.. wizard with voices. Makes long drives and rainy days incredibly entertaining. Of course all of this only applies to those who actually enjoy HP... if you are one of those who think he is a satanic character in an evil book series that Christians should be ashamed of themselves for reading and instead burn in mass protest.. please disregard.

I finally got my hair cut this week. It has been in dire need of some shape for many moons. I have not had it cut since I was last in NC and got to go and see Toby. Toby is my southern hair genius in Greensboro. He and I have reached that much sought after level of friendship between hair stylist and client. I get a great hug when I show up and the hair cut doesn't last long enough for us to dish all our latest news. I make an appointment every single time I am home, whether I need it or not. I have finally found someone I like here though, her name is Aurora and she is Albanian. Wednesday, as I walked the mile and a half from my office on 50th and 5th to Aurora's shop on 74th and 2nd, I found myself wishing I was walking to see Toby. Aurora is very sweet and I she does an excellent job but she is very quiet and I miss my Toby hugs. I also started to get nervous about the tips. That's right, I stress about tipping in the city. I know who I need to tip and have learned the appropriate amounts. The stress in this situation comes from needing to tip the person that washes your hair. I have no problem getting my tip to Aurora, and am thrilled to do it. But, for some reason, it is always hugely awkward to tip the hair washer for me. This time was no different. I left my bag in the other room, so when the sweet woman who washed my hair walked me back to Aurora's station and handed me my glass of water, I grabbed my bag from the floor where I had left it and fumbled around for my wallet while she stood there for a moment. As soon as I located my wallet and plunged in for the tip, she turned and walked into the back room. I held my tip out with burning cheeks and uttered some guttural version of "wait.. here..thank you" but it was lost. So then I was faced with the decision of whether to follow her and give her the tip or just let it go. I have followed in the past but this time decided to just let it go. Mistake. Felt horrible for the duration, particularly when she came 3 times to sweep up the hair around the chair while Aurora was working. Damn!!! Why am I so awkward like that?! I never had to worry about that at home, Toby washes my hair himself. I never worried in Florida because Stephen is the one who cut my hair then. Tipping is so ungraceful an act. Next time she will probably accidentally wash my hair with Nair or something. Despite my self imposed anxiety, my hair looked great. I took a cab on the way back to the office and the cabby actually called me "doll" and "doll face" several times. As in "Thank you so much!" (me handing him my tip) " Anything for you, doll face!". Silly as it seems, I left the cab grinning.

I went to my last Summer Associate event on Thursday. It was a sailboat ride on the Hudson. This is my favorite event that we do. Its so calm and everyone has to stay seated so I don't have to mingle and small talk. I just sit with Carol and Abigail away from the group and visit with them. I am not that anti-social but small talk and visiting really takes it out of me. I like to have real conversations. I am not very good at small talk either. I run out of topics quickly and am left staring over the other person's shoulder before one of us decides to "get another drink" and gracefully departs. People at work must think I am not much of an admin. I try really hard though. I smile and make eye contact and try to look interested in what is being said, praying inside that the group will continue to talk amongst itself and I won't be called upon to contribute. Yikes, I am making myself sound like a social freak today.

After boating and on the way to the next spot, I had a very interesting conversation with one of our summers. Early in the summer, at our wine tasting event, this particular summer was talking to Malani and I and blurted out something about his blog. We asked what it was called and he was tight lipped for a moment. Then I revealed that I too had a blog and that I would tell him the name of mine if he would share his. He agreed, and I checked it out the first chance I got. I have been reading it ever since. I thought for sure that he would never remember the name ( I don't know why I thought that since he is in the top of his class at law school ). Well I was wrong. We got to talking as we were leaving Chelsea Piers and he told me he had been reading it and just wanted to know what happened with Florida. I was a little caught off guard at first, and let him know I had been reading his too. This was my first experience talking to someone who had been reading my blog, other than close friends or family. I have to say it was pretty neat. It wasn't like we were instant friends or anything but there was a nice familiarity there. We talked about Stephen and his wife and how each of us met and how we ended up in NY. He is from VA, so even though he is not a Carolina boy there is some common ground there both being from Confederate States. Anyway, the experience of having a relative stranger talk to me about my blog was one I have never had and I just wanted to say it wasn't bad. It was nice to dispense with the small talk for a change.

Well I better bring this to a close.
Regarding Florida, what Ellen said in her comment was right on. I am still processing it all but Stephen and I feel a definite change in our way of life. I am fighting depression a little still and am trying to soften the edge I seem to have picked up around the house. I have no reason to be depressed at all its just... going through all that anxiety for such a long time has left me a bit empty. I am a little more emotional than I would like to be and my mind is whirring with desires and plans and doubts etc. It's a pain, but it would have been doing the same thing if we were in Florida right now. I just need to clear my head and get my faith back in place. I have everything to be thankful for and I do, in fact, like where I am, it's just hard to keep that disappointment at bay sometimes.
Anyway, if you made it to the end of this wandering post, I offer my congratulations.. it was a doozy.

Later!