awake

i am awake. i was asleep only moments ago and now can't get my eyes to close again. i was awakened by a dream. i guess you could call it a nightmare but it wasn't that terrifying or anything. i dreamed i was at an outdoor event being held under a large white tent. i don't think it was a wedding, but it was some sort of celebration. the funny thing about it was that everyone arrived from underground, or at least that is the way it appeared. i don't know how i arrived, but i went to check out the others arrival. there was a large hole in the ground and as i got closer i realized that there must be stairs or an escalator in the hole. i was right so wasn't surprised to find the hold filled with the same stairs i have had so many dreams about before. large, open treads with no railing. made of some type of stone. granite? i felt i needed to climb down to see where the stairs started from. my pulse was racing so fast as i took the first step that i almost lost my balance and fell.. but steadied myself and took another step down instead. i was wearing high heels so that made the hole thing more difficult. there were little imperfections and pits in the stone that i kept feeling like i was going to get my heel caught in. i felt dizzy looking down at my feet to make sure i didn't catch my heel so i looked straight ahead and then felt blind because i had nothing to tell me i was not about to walk over the edge. the thought of walking over the edge actually started to make me feel calmer as i continued my descent.. when i got about half way down, i reached my foot for the next step down and in reaching fell. i don't think i fell over the edge i just think there were no more stairs. i was falling when i woke up with a jolt, the way i usually wake up from falling dreams. and here i am, trying to get sleepy again.
i came here to check my email but the box was empty. that can happen if you dont write people. they have nothing to write to you about. i think email is something to be diversified in. you have to write alot of different people. i used to do that with actual letters. i would write 5 letters a week for 3 weeks straight then wait. soon i would started getting the responses. it was fun and i like the sending more than the receiving sometimes. its always nice to receive though.
anyway, this is not very interesting writing now. i feel a migraine coming on. maybe that is why i cant sleep. i get those a lot lately. that slow ache that turns into that desperate pain that makes you want to bash your head in with a brick. maybe if i can get to sleep it will go away. i always think this and it is true about 20% of the time. here's to 20%.