Four weeks ago today, I was sitting in a hospital bed feeling sick with nerves, watching "Cash Cab" with Stephen as we waited for the nurses to come get us. I remember the girls being super uncomfortable and moving around quite a lot while I tried desperately to relax.
Today I sat listening to the Coldplay channel on Pandora and watching Margot suck furiously at her pacifier and Ada stare transfixed at the light coming through the window in the living room. Any moment Ada will grow tired of sitting in her seat and want to be held and talked too. She likes to be given tours of the house. I walk her through each room, holding her upright so she is facing me, and describe what takes place in each space. She listens with apparent rapt attention and watches the light dancing off the ceiling. Margot sits contentedly in her seat, with pacifier, staring at Stephen's mineral paintings. They are black and white. Soon they will each be telling me, with their "talking" cries, that they are ready for a nap. We will endure another diaper change and the screaming that comes with such activities that tend to wake a baby up instead of putting her to sleep as she wishes. I will listen to Ada scream at the top of her lungs while I change and swaddle Margot, and Margot ask quietly for her pacifier while I calm and take care of Ada. Then Ada goes down while I snuggle Margot for a few minutes. Ada's turn. Once everyone is happily drowsy, Oliver and I leave them to their dreams.
Today I tried a different strategy for making sure I get a shower and breakfast in a timely manner. I decided to get up with Stephen after their 5 am feeding and do it all then. That way if someone is in need, Stephen can help them out while I finish getting ready for the day. It worked like a charm this morning. It was incredible to start the day feeling clean and refreshed, instead of waiting around in my PJs for them to sleep long enough for me to wash up. I feel excited that I might be able to start eating breakfast with Stephen before he leaves for work. I feel energetic enough to tidy the house before taking a cat nap on the couch before the next feeding at 8. Margot woke right on cue, and I had to rouse Ada.
The sun is shining through the windows, the babies are sleeping quietly in their crib, my house is tidy and I am enjoying a tall glass of cranberry juice and sparkling water... life is good.
PS - for those of you who are wondering, yes, I have had some bad days. Yesterday was particularly trying. The drains in our house were clogged and the repair men were here during my one window to take a shower so I didn't get to shower until Stephen came home last night. My house was a disaster and the girls were rather a little more demanding than usual so I didn't get to even make the bed, barely got to eat or drink anything. I spent the majority of the day biting back the tears and the evening with Stephen letting them all out. So yeah.. today is a welcome change.
Happy Four Weeks on earth baby girls.