Our House

For those who are interested.. here are some rather late pictures of our newest residence.



The kitchen is so much bigger than our last place.



There is even a spot on the stairwell to put Stephen's 100lb aluminum iceberg sculpture (that we have been dragging around since undergrad). Love that we finally have a perfect place to admire it.



Stephen decided to give the 3rd bedroom to the girls as a playroom, instead of using it for an office/studio. Sweet daddy.



Our room is about the same size that it was before. We have our own bathroom of course and this one has a tub! Last place just had a shower.. which was pretty great too... but I am excited about the tub. The girls' bathroom is in the hallway, and there's a half bath downstairs.



La Chambre d'Ada et Margot. See that string of birds on the wall.. this is my victory for the week.



I had this idea to do their room with bird silhouettes but couldn't figure out how I wanted it to be done.. and I didn't really have a budget for it. So, Stephen cut the birds out for some leftover cardboard boxes for me. Then I glued on a variety of fabric that I have in my collection and stuck a clothes pin on the back. Hung them from a line of semi rough looking jute string and.. voila! There is a strand over their beds and another one over the dresser.



This is a big thing for me.. I hardly ever actually finish a project that I envision.. even if I get started on it. Feels so good.



We couldn't resist a little owl family. From left to right, Daddy Owl, Mommy Owl, Baby Ada Owl and Baby Go-Go Owl (christened by Ms. Margot herself).

Isn't it cute?!

My favorite pictures from the day

I spent most of today trying to control and unexplainable panic attack.. calling doctors.. trying to figure out how to bring my heart rate under control. Then my brother John and his wife Mariel got here. Man o man what a time we had. A table full of the best German food you have ever tasted and the finest beer that Peace Street Market has to offer.. which is saying a lot. I only wish we had more pictures ... I always wish we had more pictures. Good thing we get another chance next week when they are on their way back home. Only wish they could have spent the entire day here. Love you guys so.. so much.

Over it

That's right, I am over it. Completely over it.

- The summer.. the heat.. the sweating.. the mosquitoes .. the heat induced house arrest.. over it.

- The constant migraines, the days wasted in bed, the frustration of watching the days slip by from the dim light of my bedroom... over it.

-The insomnia (brought on by the B2 supplements my new neurologist recommended).. way over that.

-The anxiety brought on by the afore mentioned lack of sleep.. over it.

-The filthy house that we are surviving in because of my inability to do the cleaning.. over it.

-The whining and screaming that fills our days as we try to teach our girls how to behave, get along, and be happy...heartbreakingly over it.

-The food fight... fixing good healthy food day after day only to have them refuse to even try a bite.. resorting to dipping their food in catsup last night... that defeated feeling as we send them to time out over and over for launching their food across the table.. the dread of food shopping not having a clue what to bring home that might temp them to eat a meal (they won't even eat mac n' cheese or hotdogs.. spaghetti..sigh..)..over it.

-The fatigue.. the frustration.. the feeling that I keep losing my fight for a pain free existence.. over it.

Being a mother is hard. Being a woman is hard. Being a human being on this planet is hard. Right now the hardest part for me is the feeling that I just can't get on top of anything. Feeling like a failing invalid is hard to take. Whining about it does no good, I know this. My frustration is mainly with myself. Get over it! Get on with it! Just push through it! I know my kids are doing exactly what all normal kids their age do.. they don't eat. Their tastes change. I get that. I have an incredible husband who just packed up both fussy ladies and took them out for a "morning of adventures" until lunchtime so I can try to get some things caught up around here. I have nothing to complain about. Nothing. I am so blessed, beyond anything I could have ever imagined. So with that thought, I am getting off of this computer .. and going to try to make some actual progress around here while the girls are off adventuring with daddy...

Yesterday

Yesterday Josie came over to play after her nap. She and Ada cuddled up to watch some Good Night Gorilla after a fine dinner of Chinese take out.



Then Josie had the brilliant idea to come outside and play on the slide before bath time.





(please excuse the snot)



Why would Josie get to spend the entire evening with us you ask? Because while we were all playing and enjoying the cool evening breeze, her mommy and daddy were at the hospital having a baby. Josie is now a big sister to a bouncing baby brother.

PS: It was so exciting to be on baby watch that when our friends called to say that it was time for us to come get Josie, I started squealing like a 12 year old. Then I called both of our moms because I just felt like I needed to let some of my crazy excitement out. Living vicariously.

Home Gym

Brain Purge

(Lady Margot in the "helmet" that her father did craft for her this merry morning)

I always do this to myself. I let things pile up in my brain and then I hide from my blog because I feel like I am being false if I don't pour it all out of my head and onto the screen Then my crazy thoughts start to fade, and I am so locked up I can't get back into the groove.

One thing that has been bugging me recently is the feeling that I am not a mother. By that I mean, that I feel more like a babysitter or playmate with the girls sometimes than their mother. Does anyone else out there with multiples ever feel like that? I mean I kiss them 79 times a day at least. I love them so much it hurts to hear them cry. I adore their little kisses, feeling their chubby little arms squeeze my neck. I love them more than anything. They sure act like they love me too, so I never have cause to question their affection for me as their mother. It's just, when we go to Marbles and I look around me at all the other mothers with their kids... it feels funny. Like I am an outsider. Someone recently suggested to me that this could be because the twin relationship between the girls comes before their relationship to me. So I am not their primary relationship and that could be what causes me to feel this distance. I had never thought of this before and I felt relieved that this made so much sense to me. Am I the only twin mom who feels this odd disconnection? I feel so connected and in brief moments so disconnected from them... does that make any sense? Sigh. These are the sort of thoughts that swim around in my head until I have analyzed them to death. Thankfully, most of the thoughts of this dizzying nature have faded from the forefront of my mind ... consider yourself spared.

The best $40 ever spent

So now we know why our patio table got broken. So we could make room for the most awesome Craigslist find since our vintage orange couch. How awesome is this climbing cube!? I never thought I would have something like this at my house but as soon as I saw it I knew it needed to come live with us. I think Stephen and I might be more excited about it than the girls.



We keep looking out the window and just smiling at it's mere presence. So much potential for long term entertainment for the girlies.



They were pretty excited. Nana was sweet enough to offer to foot the bill as well so, many thanks Mom. You invested well.

Boo

Look what happened to our wonderful patio set last night!! Yes, that is shattered glass scattered everywhere. A storm blew in from no where and right before our eyes picked up the table and crashed it to the ground. Just when we had a place to use it and just as we are approaching cooler weather when the mosquitoes will finally be gone. We will miss our sweet set. So sorry Aunt Margie and Uncle Gavin. We loved it well while it lasted. 20 years with you is apparently equivalent to just one year in our home.. then again.. you did give it to us intact.. so who knows how much longer it could have survived if left in your care. Sigh. I feel like we should have some sort of memorial service. I remember getting lines on my own little girl legs from these chairs while eating on your deck. It has been a good friend. As I write this the sky has turned black again. Thunder is crashing in the distance.. should be a good nap time today.

Summer Bath

We have heard tell of this bathing outside thing but only decided to try it today. Enough breeze to keep the mosquitoes away. Sun hiding behind clouds. Little girls covered from head to toe in yogurt. Diapers on.



Diapers off. Daddy soaped up their hair and scrubbed off the day while the girls demonstrated their bubble blowing skills.



Ada pours Margot a ladle of tea.



Watering the bushes.



Joy personified.

Kittens

Went in to check on the babies tonight and this is what I found. Secretly, this was the reason I was so excited to move them into toddler beds. Ever since we had to put them in separate cribs, a little piece of my heart ached for all those sleepy moments, snuggled together. I wondered if they would ever want to sleep together like that again. I don't know why it makes me feel so good to see them snuggled together, of their own free will. But there is nothing quite like it.

The next step

While we were in Palm Harbor, the girls learned how to climb out of their travel cribs. The room they were staying in wasn't baby proofed so we had to teach them to stay in the cribs. This took some discipline but eventually they did stay in long enough to nap well and sleep at night. Once they were awake, they just climbed out and knocked at the door for someone to come get them.

The very first morning we were back in Raleigh, Stephen and awoke to the familiar sound of them knocking on their bedroom door. They had no trouble climbing out of their cribs here at home after all that practice down in Florida. It was time. We spent our first morning home, transforming their cribs into toddler beds, super baby proofing the rest of the room so that they could be free to roam when they were not supposed to be in bed. We tried to find some bed rails to keep them from falling out but were unable to find any that fit, so we just put their little beds against the wall and prayed that they wouldn't roll out. So far they have fallen out once or twice but only in the early evening before they are in a sound sleep. No waking up at night, they nap well.. it has been a much easier transition than I thought it would be. We got them pillows and have tried to get them to let us put blankets over them but they still like to sleep on their soft with no covers so... I say have at it!

Suddenly I wish I had more pictures of them standing in their cribs in the morning.

Baby Owl

While I was fixing dinner tonight, Margot and Ada found that there is a baby owl living underneath our sink. There was much excitement as they discussed between themselves what "baby owl" needed. From what I was able to make out, he was waiting for his mommy and he needed a "rock-a-baby" (which is the girls' attempt to sing Rock-a-bye-baby). It was the most exciting discovery since the empty blow up pool in Grammy's living room. They insisted on telling baby owl night night before they climbed upstairs tonight. This is the girls first time playing a make believe game that was so detailed.

The trip in photos

Ok. So as usual I am not up to describing the entire trip to FL so I will let the pictures do the work for me. I will say that we had an incredibly relaxing trip and that these puddle pictures are (somehow) the only pictures we took while we were in Palm Harbor!!! Not a single picture of Great Grandma Elsie with the girls :( I guess that tells you just how relaxed we were.. couldn't even be bothered to get out the camera.

Just in case you were wondering, Ada in pink and Margot in blue.

Grammy and Margot at the aquarium in Tarpon Springs.

Margot's face when you ask her to smile.

Grandpapa and Margot.

What traveling with our crew looks like in the daylight.

Kisses for Great Grandmother.

Talking on Great Grandmother's awesome red phone.

They loved getting to play with their cousins.

The boy cousin gave them some flying lessons.

Then we all sat around and watched the girls play in the pool Aunt Tracy bought them. I mostly just giggled at their giant diapers.

Margot really got into splashing Grammy.

Daddy made blueberry scones for us in Tallahassee.

The Wheely Bugs were the only toys we brought with us and they got ridden a lot!

Lookin' at the fishes at Great Grandmother's and Great Granddaddy's house.

So much fun. Can't wait to do it all again next year. Love you guys!