Pop

Most days I wake up, get dressed for work and leave the house looking like I might be pregnant but just barely..actually I think I am the only one who notices since I have yet to have anyone give up their seat on the train for me. By the time I get home at night I look much more pregnant for some reason. I woke up this morning and looked pretty dang pregnant. In fact, though it is sticking out a little more now that I am home.. it was pretty huge when I left for the office this morning. It was jeans day today and for the first time I couldn't button my jeans over the bump that is housing Romulus and Remus. I dug out an old pair of 27s that I could wear right over my pubic bone and spent the day hiking them up in the rear - fun. Going to do some maternity jeans shopping this weekend I think. You might not be able to tell the difference in this shot and the previous one I posted but.. I sure can :) My poor belly button is almost completely flat.

Wolfmother

Stephen and I bought Romulus and Remus their first stuffed animals on Sunday. We went on a walk to Greenjeans, of course, and I fell in love with these two right away. Yes, I know I could have made my own with some of my left over sweaters from the tree skirt project - so no comments from the penny pinchers out there, go rain on someone else's parade. I happen to love the couple that runs that shop and I like supporting them, plus.. I wanted my kids to have something special from our time in Brooklyn and these little guys just sort of jumped out of the basket and into my hands so.. I had to bring them home. Aren't they adorable?! They are so soft and cuddly.

It was a pretty energetic weekend. We had dinner with our new friends Michael and Lillian on Friday night. We had so much fun at dinner that they invited us back to their sweet apartment in the village for an extended visit. I had some Coke (a treat since I am not drinking caffine right now) and we didn't leave until after midnight! We had a blast and it was so nice to sit and chat with like minded folks - as opposed to being passed out on the couch at home.

Saturday I woke right up, despite the late night out - Stephen calls me "chatterbox" on mornings like that. He finally retreated to his studio for some peace and quiet while I cleaned the house - that's right..I actually cleaned my own house for the first time in 8 weeks (at least). It felt SO good. Later that evening we went down to Matt and Lonna's place on the first floor for a dinner part with the two of them and Adam and Nicole. Once again, I wish I had taken my camera to dinner. Lonna's is such a creative decorator. She had fixed the dinner table up as an example of how she wants to do the tables at their wedding in September. Tea pots with floral arrangements full of daisies, each surrounded by 3 ornate tea cups on saucers with candles inside on a black table cloth with turquoise cloth napkins. Indescribable really. Just beautifully whimsical and contemporary elegance in one. She has collected 10 vintage tea pots and 30 vintage tea cups on eBay. She has such wonderful taste. The food was incredible as always. Once again, we didn't leave until after 1am this time! Another late night and I was awake and present throughout.

Sunday I was feeling that second late night a bit. I slept in while Stephen drug himself to Redeemer. Later in the afternoon we set off for Park Slope with Oliver, stopping to get ingredients for chocolate chip cookies and, as previously mentioned, to pick up a treat for the twins. The weather was beautiful. There was still plenty of snow to look at, though it was melting. Just a wonderful weekend all around.

My iPod needs to be charged so I borrowed Stephen's this morning. I listened to Wolfmother all the way to work.. and all the way back. MAN I had forgotten how much I love that band. I have lately been wishing that the twins could hear what I am listening too..instead I guess they hear the sounds of the train scratching and clunking it's way home. Maybe one day when they ride the subway for themselves, they will feel safe and at home, and wonder why. I like that thought.

FINALLY

A real snow storm at long last! This is what winter in NY is supposed to be like!!



So thick you can't even see the city this morning..









Happiest Stephen in the tri-state area. REALLY wish we could stay home and play in the snow today :( You know.. walking around in the virgin landscape until you are ready to head inside and then enjoying hot chocolate and fresh chocolate chip cookies... Alas...being a grown up means heading to work anyway... at least I get 4 blocks to kick around in before going underground. Here's hoping it hangs around until tomorrow :)

Happy Birthday Ellen!!!!!!

Two 12 year old friends bobbing in the river..looking very excited about the experience :)

Today, my friend Ellen is 29 years old. As I have been 29 since September, I am happy that we are once again the same age..at least until September roles around and I have to enter my thirties and stand alone for a few months until she catches up again.

Ellen has been my best friend (and sometimes worst enemy as is apt to happen with bosom buddies) since I was 6 years old....I think...anyway we have been friends for a long long time and I am so proud of the woman and mother she has become. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you today, girly, but trust me when I say I am there with you in spirit... good friends are always together in spirit :)

LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Goodies!!!!

I got two care packages on my Monday off!!!! One from my friend Ellen and the other from my friends Michelle, Ian, and Jack from across the ocean in Germany!



Look at all these goodies!!! Sweet baby toys, books, tea...German chocolate...mmmmmmm!!!
Thank you guys so much!!! You really made my day/week/month :)



Michelle, Ian, and Jack were so sweet to remember Ollie :) He LOVES his scootin' mouse!



He especially likes to capsize it :)



Ollie says thank you so much and he will take good care of it as long as he possibly can :)

Daily Bread

At the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens this summer (overlooking the rose garden)...wishing for summer's speedy return lately..

The weekends are gradually getting better around here. Two weekends ago, I made it out of the house with Stephen for the first time since..well..it had been awhile. Granted, I didn't make it outside until about 4 o'clock but once we were on the move, we went for hamburgers at Burger 67 in Brooklyn (our favorite burger joint lately) and then to Target - very exciting stuff. I broke down in tears while eating my burger, snuffling about how much I was going to miss moments like those eating a fantastic burger and super fries with an ice cold RC Cola (yes, they serve RC Cola there....see why I would miss that?!). We walked past BAM (Brooklyn Academy of Music) which happens to house our favorite movie theater, and I could see Stephen's wistful gaze out of the corner of my eye. Still not quite enough steam in me to do both Target and a movie.

Last weekend we decided to go on a real date. Stephen had a gift certificate to our favorite restaurant, Henry's End in Brooklyn Heights, for a free entree - the restaurant sent it in honor of his birthday - and we had to use it up before the 15th of this month. We spent the day indoors resting and cleaning up, then got dressed up and headed out to eat at 5:30 in the hopes of avoiding the crowd - that place always has at least a 45 minute wait and you can't make a reservation for 2. We were in luck and got there just in time to be seated right away. Best table in the house, tucked all the way at the back by a window. The food was perfection as always and we lingered as long as we could, without feeling too guilty about the line of people shivering out on the sidewalk. I was feeling energetic and optimistic, so we decided to go see a movie at the neighboring theater after dinner. It wasn't starting for another hour and surprising as it may seem, there just aren't any coffee shops right around there to kill time in. It was cold so we couldn't just stand around and decided to go walk across the Brooklyn Bridge instead. I have been wanting to do this for so long and it was the perfect set of circumstances. We had just enough time to make it to the first tower and read all the plaques, it was cold but not too windy, dark, and we were warmed from our meal. It was just as magical as I had thought it would be. We made it back to the theater 15 minutes before the movie started so we had plenty of time to find a good seat. We saw "There Will Be Blood". It was great, but I really liked "No Country for Old Men" much better.

This morning I woke up determined to go to church. I haven't been since I started getting so sick, so it's been weeks and weeks..and weeks. I didn't even ask or care if Tim was teaching today. I have been listening to his sermons that I miss on my iPod but still.. I needed to be there. I was brimming with just enough energy to get us there on time and sit down to rest.

Yesterday was a difficult day for both Stephen and myself. We have been walking in faith about our move and job situation since we found out about the twins, refusing to get stressed out about the long list of things that I am not going to talk about here right now because I know that the Lord is going to help us work all of them out and with that said, I leave them at the foot of the cross and move on with my daily life. Still, we are human and it's so easy to doubt and let fear creep in. Yesterday it took Stephen in the morning, and then me in the afternoon. We felt defeated and faithless, confused and frustrated, lost.. the usual suspects. We rallied together but we were weakened in our faith and nobody likes that feeling.

This morning, during the Lord's Prayer, when we came to the line "Give us this day our daily bread" I felt like a lightening bolt struck my spirit. Daily bread, as in daily.. as in.. for today... not tomorrow, not next week, not "Give us this year our monthly bread".. He reminded me in a flash that he takes care of our daily needs and that is all we need to be concerned with. Nice reminder - sure I have heard that before and maybe even had the same revelation before but this morning it was particularly significant. Then we sang the first song, "Be Still, My Soul". We may have sung this before but it sounded new to my ears this morning. The first verse caught my attention:

"Be still my soul: The Lord is on your side; bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; leave to your God to order and provide in every change He faithful will remain. Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly Friend thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

Then we hit the second verse:

"Be still my soul: your God will undertake to guide the future as He has the past. Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake; all now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still my soul: the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below."

There was no question that the Lord meant for Stephen and I to be there together to sing that song this morning. We looked at each other with tears in our eyes, struggling to keep it together. It was like having the Father lay His hands on our shoulders and give us an encouraging squeeze.

The sermon was great too, even though someone other than Tim was teaching (really just meant there were fewer C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien references peppered throughout the message). Afterward we went to Burger Heaven where Stephen had a burger and I had a baked potato and steamed vegetables (can not get enough baked potatoes lately). Then, after stopping to stock up on some snacks for me, we headed off to the Met to look at the clock exhibit and the musical instrument section. I love that place. I kept wandering off course to see things like "Madam X" the Sargent portrait or "Hagar in the Wilderness" by Corot (more affectionately known to us as the "Shooting angel painting" as there is an angel coming in from the left that looks like it is going about 90 MPH). I also got distracted by an exhibit of items from their design collection - I am always distracted by design shows that include art deco items. At any rate we wandered around for hours and finally left, fully satisfied, around 4 o'clock. Then we walked through the park to the catch the train home. Now Stephen and Oliver are playing retro games on the game cube. I can't believe I am still awake after all that walking around but incredibly I seem to still have a lot of energy. We are entering week 13 so maybe my energy level is a good sign that I will get to enjoy this next trimester after all :)

Happy Valentimes!

Mike, I know you get the reference above..anyone else a 30 Rock fan..? Anyway, happy Hallmark holiday everybody.

I actually like Valentines Day most because of all the red stuff everywhere. I love all things red so when it gets close to the big day I find myself staring at the the store displays.. just trying to drink in all that.. redness.

This year we had chocolates at breakfast (my present to Stephen from our favorite chocolate shop Maison du Chocolate) and I got cards from both Stephen and Oliver (Stephen's is the one on the right with the dinosaurs). I also got a great care package from my mom yesterday (cutie heart bag in the back) and a sweet surprise from Mary came today in the mail - Many thanks to you both :)

We had cupcakes today at work.. Carol delivered them first thing in the morning... I have not been big on sweets lately.. at all.. but today something clicked... I am not too proud to admit... I ate 3 cupcakes...3.. over the course of the day..the first one to get the "I Love You" ring that was implanted in the vanilla frosting on top... the other two.. well I have no excuses. Sometimes you just want to eat 3 cupcakes and you just eat them... this was one of those times.

XOXO ya'll

Disappearing Act..

Stephen hates "belly shots" - thinks they're cheesy. Well cheesy they may be, but I think it's fun to see the changes taking place. Therefore.. I bid farewell to my figure as I give you... my new bump! Since I have two of them in there I am showing a bit earlier than I would if I only had one. Funny enough it's never this big until about 4pm.. and then out of no where I suddenly have this belly stickin' out there. This may not look like much to some of you out there but normally I have a pretty flat stomach so.. to me.. there's a whole lot of something going on!

I have been doing a little thinking about parenthood lately.. but frankly I haven't figured out how to really think about it yet. The only thing that keeps running through my mind is how much respect I have for these little guys. It's almost silly. I want to give them their space, make sure they know that I am just here to love them and support them in all that they do, not disturb them in case they might be sleeping. I am so excited to find out just who they are, what kind of music they will like, what sort of clothes they will prefer, will they like comic books or Ayn Rand (hopefully both)...I am so excited about these little individuals that I can hardly wait for them to grow up! I am not into the whole matching twin thing.. no matching names.. no matching outfits... also not much into reading to them or singing to them .. maybe because I can't feel them yet. I have been talking to them a little bit and I keep wanting to take off my earbuds on the train and put them on my belly so that they can hear the hilarious thing that Ricky Gervais just said. I can't seem to get away from thinking of them as little individuals, that word keeps running through my mind.. individuals. I wonder when that "ah ha!" moment will happen.. when I will suddenly feel like a parent instead of an incubator.

Second Look

Can you see the little profile .. and the belly? Starting to look human.

I had my second doctor's appointment on the 6th and this time Stephen came along just in case they did another ultrasound. We were in luck! The babies put on quite a show for us... well one of them did at least. Baby A was flipping and swimming around so much it was hard for the doc to keep up with it. Then he/she started punching and kicking his/her sibling in the back - hard! I mean he/she was really going to town - rapid fire!! Baby B was sleeping and I was trying so hard not to laugh watching A's little personality rearing it's head for the first time. Finally baby B woke up and showed us that he/she could take care if her/himself, fighting back a little with Baby A. It was pretty amazing to see these little guys interacting this early.



Due to the future athlete in the family -aka Baby A - the doc couldn't get a good shot of both of them (A kept swimming in and out of the picture) but they are both there :)



You can actually see Baby A's little fist about to punch in this shot :) Kinda glad I can't feel all of that yet.

The doctor said it looks like they are identical. I am still holding out for the slight chance that they are fraternal because there are fewer complications with fraternal than identical. Still they are still there and both look very healthy so..until next time :)

PS - No, Stephen did not cry or get emotional upon seeing his kids for the first time :) He was thrilled, excited and happy and watched the images on the screen with as much enthusiasm as he would have had watching an electron microscope explore ..which is a heck of a lot of enthusiasm. What can I say, my man loves science :)

First

Stephen bought the babies their first toys last weekend. He was walking past one of our favorite stores in Park Slope, Greenjeans, and decided to pop in to check out the latest display of locally made toys. I am obsessed with tugboats so I was thrilled with his choices. I think these will work for girls or boys both :) Feels sort of funny to have baby toys sitting around the apartment...

Lest we forget..

.. who is number one in this house, Oliver got a new fish last week.



He is a master squeaker remover and within minutes of receiving his gift, he was busily chewing open the lips of the fish, having determined that it was the fastest way to the prize.






Such a hard worker.

Craving

I woke up at 1:30 this morning to pee and take anti-sick meds. When I crawled back into bed I was starving and had a huge craving for strawberry ice cream (my only real craving thus far). I reasoned that I could NOT be up eating ice cream in the wee hours and was finally able to drift off to sleep. When I woke up again at 8:30 I was dieing to watch The Parent Trap -original Disney version not that new crap - right Christa? :) - .....and eat strawberry ice cream! I am currently watching Parent Trap, and though I have agreed to eat my eggs and bacon for breakfast.. I am SO having that strawberry ice cream right afterward!

The weather is beautiful here today!!! I plan to be out in it presently! I hope everyone else is having as wonderful a Saturday morning as we are!! Happy Groundhog Day!!

Sacrifice

We came home to the scene above on Wednesday. Oliver has developed a bad habit of eating toilet paper while we are gone during the day. To remedy his addiction, we have to remove the role before we leave in the morning. Wednesday he was apparently so desperate for a fix that he left a sacrificed favorite toy (formerly known as "Giant Squid" now affectionately known only as "Tentacles") in plea for the return of the tissue.

While we are on the subject of sacrifice, I will let you in on what my being pregnant has been like lately. As it turns out, I have a rare condition (1/300 pregnancies) called Hyperemesis Gravidarum - which essentially means "excessive vomiting in pregnant women". What it means for me is that once I start throwing up, I can't stop. It reached it's peak last week. I was out of work for 3 days, two of those days throwing up on the hour and the third, every 15 minutes. I have never spent so much time on my knees in the bathroom! I finally called my doctor (who was on vacation and actually called me back - from vacation! = jewel) and she called in a prescription for Zofran, warning me that if it didn't work I would have to be admitted to the hospital. Thankfully it worked!! There were many, many people praying for me too so I must give credit where it's due.

This week has been much, much better - I was only out one day. The medicine seems to be working and I am pretty much eating whatever I can stomach. I take it when I feel the sickness coming on and in seconds I feel better. Please keep me in your prayers everyone, and thank you to those who have already been praying for me. I am trying to take the medicine as seldom as possible (it is safe to take during pregnancy of course). I suppose this is my first lesson in the sacrifices of motherhood. Coming soon - my disappearing waistline.

P.S.

I got an amazing collage from our cousin Riley (aka Smiley Riley) yesterday! I was so tired when I got home last night and I perked right up when I saw the return address on that big manila envelope. It's going right on the fridge! Thank you so much Riley! You made my week!



Please note the PS on Riley's letter :) Thank you for the suggestion Riley, we will definitely take it under consideration :)



More notes from the fridge. A letter to me from two girls in Mary's kindergarten class.



Thank you Sabrina and Kathryn :)