.. I won't be able to laugh at myself later... and I really need a laugh right now.
In the last 15 minutes:
I undressed screaming Ada and Margot who were covered from head to toe in pear sauce and yogurt. Held Ada while she screamed and gagged. Put her in a safe spot on the carpet while I helped Margot attempt to calm down and got Josie down from her lunch. Josie was calm and pleasant as ever. I held both girls as they bucked and screamed and Margot whacked me in the eye with her flying noggin .. really hoping that it doesn't turn black. Put ice on my eye. Ran to the kitchen, leaving screaming Ada and happily playing Margot and Josie, to clean up the mess at the table before little hands find it and make it worse. Started bleeding (the bleeding had stopped about 3 days ago). Ran into the bathroom to access. Heard giant crash and screaming. Peaked out of bathroom door only to find a terrified little Josie underneath the play kitchen that she had pulled down on top of herself. Naked Ada and Margot now having a screaming fight over Ada's soft. Yanked up my pants and ran to Josie's rescue. Yelled (something I have never done) "It's NAP TIME EVERYONE!!! UPSTAIRS WE GO!!!!". Carried screaming children up the stairs one at a time. Changed diapers in an silent flurry, taking calming deep breaths. Closed curtains, kissed exhausted smiling babies and made it back downstairs without completely losing my cool. Why, I say, WHY doesn't McDonald's deliver?!?! I need greasy french fries STAT.
I will laugh at this later.. right?