Notice: Dad.. you might want to skip this one...or anyone else who doesn't want to read about me talking about my boobs...and being very self indulgent/self centered.
So yesterday while out with Joyce, we stopped in at Old Navy so I could pick up a couple of new t-shirts. I was lucky enough to also find a cardigan as well and that was just lovely. The t-shirts are your basic solid colored numbers, the sort of thing that a SAHM mom like myself wears. The cardigan is your basic grey as well (I like grey ok..) and was a bit of a splurge but a necessary one. You see.... I used to be a bit like Kate Moss in a certain area.. and now.. I am definitely Dolly Parton-esque. I have been attempting to deny this fact since I first left the hospital with my new friends, and a back bent under their weight. I trusted that they would return to their pre-nursing size once the girls were weaned. I was thrilled when my lower half did actually return to pre-pregnancy size. So I squeezed into the pre-pregnancy tops when they worked and wore my nursing tops the rest of the time, thinking it was only a matter of time before I would be back to my old self. Then we went through the weaning thing.. and they got bigger than I thought was humanly possible. I was actually apologizing to my friends when I was forced to be around them in a bathing suit. I looked as though I might burst free at any moment. Frightening. Not sure why anyone would actually pay for that look. SO relieved when they they finally went back to a much more normal size. More normal, yet none of my pre-twins bras would fit properly. A helpful teenage Vicky's employee informed me, upon taking my measurement, that I had in fact grown 2 cup sizes. How lovely (heavily leaden with sarcasm here). I had these new friends and they were not going anywhere. Here to stay. Still in denial, I continued to squeeze into my "XS" tops (sports bras are a girl's best friend). I bought a couple of "S" t-shirts that fit better and have almost worn them out from overuse. We are fast approaching sun dress season. I realized the other day that I really need to accept my new size and behave accordingly. This meant purchasing an "M" cardigan. Having worn said cardigan around all day, I felt it time to take it to the next level. That meant a closet purge. I have loads of beautiful dresses that I stalked in my previous life at JCrew and Banana until they went on sale. I have loved being able to quickly dress for any occasion and the confidence that comes with knowing you have a closet filled with only the clothes that you absolutely adore. And now I have a pile of dresses and tops lovingly laid across the end of our bed, awaiting their fate. It has been wonderful to keep them in the closet all this time.. but after having tried on each and every one of them tonight in the hopes that one or two might actually fit up top... I know definitively that the time has come. As this is not the sort of thing that any amount of working out can change, I am going to embrace my curvaceous new self and bid farewell to the wardrobe I worked so hard to build. Obviously we no longer have the income to replace these lovelies, so it's good-bye JCrew..hello Old Navy. Not much of a sacrifice I'll admit, but something about this makes me feel a bit old and very matronly. One step further from the "polished" professional woman I had become, and a leap closer to the make-up-less, jeans and t-shirt pony-tailed Mommy I am today.