Manic

Today was a good day. I woke up knowing that I was going to have lunch with Joyce and then we were going for massages. That is a good thing to have on your mind first thing on a rainy Saturday morning. So I spent the morning with my girls (who still aren't feeling their best) and Mr. S and then bid everyone farewell, jumped into the suburban and away we went.

I have lately been struggling with feeling very boring and uninteresting, particularly to myself. I am tired so much of the time and I feel I spend too much time watching movies or sleeping when I do have a few moments to myself. I feel like my brain is turning to mush, has turned to mush. I long for adult conversation and then when the circumstances are right, I have absolutely nothing to talk about. Today was different. Sweet Joyce listened patiently while I yammered on during lunch about the three topics that had been in my head all morning:

1) How impressed I was last night when CBS highlighted the need for domestic adoption in the US, particularly the need for people to adopt older children (Please know, that I think international adoption is amazing and I would love to do it myself one day, honestly I think adoption itself in any way shape or form is such an incredible thing and I am honestly jealous of each family I know or read about who is going through this journey. I just thought it was really neat of CBS to highlight another side of adoption, that being adoption of older children currently in foster care. Who know why certain things speak to your heart and for some reason this story spoke to mine.)

2) The struggles of children afflicted with schizophrenia and other serious mental illness (20/20). Think of those words.. children.. child.. schizophrenia...schizophrenic. Yet again this special just reached right into my chest and tore out my heart. I wanted to help. What could I possibly do for these families struggling with children who beg to be put into the hospital ? I wanted to bring them dinner... take the other kids in the family for ice cream..sit with the parents and just hold their hands...

3) The fact that our buddy MKD just resigned from a job that was not worthy of him and is about to start an exciting new job that holds so much promise not only for him, but for the future of his budding family. Knowing someone who has taken hold of the reins of his life instead of plodding along in a bad fit for monetary reasons or for whatever reasons... is exhilarating. Just knowing that he left on his own terms and for far better situation makes me smile and feel a little giddy. Happiness!

I know these topics could not be more varied but that was what was playing in my brain.

The sun was warming our faces as we sat on the sidewalk chatting way. It feels like a long time since I held a conversation I was really excited about. Manic about even. We talked pretty much non-stop for the rest of the afternoon (breaking for fabulous massages around 1pm). It was so rejuvenating to get excited about life, about possibilities. Such conversations leave me feeling hopeful and filled with a desire to go and do and be...love that.

It was a very good day.